Jackie Burkhart Quotes Page 1 of 32    

Quote from Garage Sale

Jackie: Okay, Michael, I want you to take me to the movies today.
Kelso: I'm way ahead of you, Jackie. 2:00, Smokey and the Bandit.
Jackie: No. No, no, no. I told you. I don't want to see that again. I don't like the South.

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Quote from Halloween

Jackie: Hey, you guys, you know what? My church is doing a haunted house.
Donna: I really don't think anyone's gonna be scared by a bunch of Episcopalians.
Kelso: Unless they have chainsaws. Let's go see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Jackie: Michael, I told you, I don't like Texans.

Quote from Fez Gets the Girl

Kelso: Jackie, why do you wanna go anyway? You hate Led Zeppelin.
Jackie: I never said I hated them, Michael. For your information, I think Led is hot.

Quote from Kitty's Birthday (Is That Today?!)

Hyde: What are you doing back there, Fez?
Fez: I- I was- I was just showing Caroline the back of my new car and my tongue.
Kelso: Fez, this isn't your car.
Jackie: Yeah. Foreigners can't drive here unless it's a cab.

Quote from The Trials of Michael Kelso

Jackie: Donna and I were discussing our careers. I'm going into high-end cosmetics and Donna thinks she'll make a great lumberjack.
Donna: Stop telling everybody that.

Quote from Surprise, Surprise

Jackie: Thank you for helping me, Mrs. Forman. Steven is gonna love these cookies.
Kitty: Okay, now start by cracking a couple of eggs into the bowl.
Jackie: I can't touch an egg.
Kitty: Why not?
Jackie: 'Cause it came out of a chicken butt.
Kitty: Honey, they wash it.
Jackie: Well, wash it all you want, it still came out of a butt.

Quote from On with the Show

Donna: Jackie, how are you gonna tell people the news if you don't know any news?
Jackie: Well, I know all the news that's really important, like, who's got a new car, what store is having a sale on leggings, and if there'll ever be peace in the Middle East. [giggles] Who am I kidding? No one cares about China.

Quote from Red Fired Up

Laurie: Hey! This is my house.
Jackie: So what? Eric wants me here. Don't you, Eric?
Eric: Why, yes, I do.
Laurie: You better watch your back.
Jackie: Really? 'Cause you should stop spending so much time on yours.
Kelso: Oh. Burn! [laughs] Hey, I'm sorry. I just got swept away by the super-good burn.
Laurie: Shut up!

Quote from Join Together

Jackie: All right, Donna, put your chair here. I wanna get Steven's attention, and with you next to me I'll look like a tiny porcelain doll.
Donna: You know, Jackie, some people actually find me to be of normal height.
Jackie: Sure, if they're green and jolly.

Quote from That '70s Pilot

Kelso: Also, I didn't think you'd be interested in Todd Rundgren. I mean, like you said, he's no Frampton.
Jackie: I love Todd Runddamen. I have the .45 of Hello, It's Me. Remember the night we listened to it? We can have fun at the concert, too. Especially in the car on the way back.
Kelso: Okay. You can go.
Jackie: Only if you want me to.
Kelso: Oh, I want you to. [Jackie giggles as Kelso goes to kiss her]
Eric: Jackie, I guess you're going to the concert with us.
Jackie: Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm. I can't wait. So, Michael, you wanna go back to my house and listen to Todd Grunion records?

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