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‘It's a Wonderful Life’ Quotes Page 1 of 2  

That '70s Show: It's a Wonderful Life

401. It's a Wonderful Life

Aired September 25, 2001

As Eric reels from breaking up with Donna, he is visited by an angel (Wayne Knight) who shows him what life would have been like if he and Donna had never kissed.

Quote from Eric

Eric: Hyde was waiting for her that night? I didn't know that.
Angel: Shh. This is my favorite part.
Donna: Hi.
Hyde: Hey.
Donna: Thanks.
Hyde: [sniffs] So you with Forman now?
Donna: [laughs] I guess not. I mean, he didn't make a move or anything, so...
Hyde: Yeah. [kisses Donna]
Eric: Hyde, what are you doing? Get the hell off her!
Angel: Eric, they can't hear you. Don't you watch movies? I mean, this is pretty basic stuff here.

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Quote from Eric

Angel: Well, Eric, it's three months later. Donna's with Hyde, Kelso's with Jackie, and you became... Just watch.
Eric: Does anyone want to watch Flipper? Anyone?
Red: Eric, I thought I told you to tar the driveway.
Eric: Yeah, but I'm hanging out with my friends.
Red: Oh, I'm so sorry! Now get your ass up there and get to work! You people, out of the basement.
Eric: Oh, geez. I'm sorry, Dad. Don't be mad. This is made-up angel crap. I wouldn't cave to Red like that.
Angel: Ah, you've already forgotten what a wuss you were. See, it was Donna who gave you the confidence to stand up to Red. Oh, I'm gonna show you a lot of neat stuff like this.
Eric: Well, I guess I have no choice.
[After the angel walks out of the basement, Eric closes the door. As soon as he turns around, the Angel is back by his side]
Angel: Like everyone doesn't try that.

Quote from Eric

[circle:]
Eric: This is really- [coughing] I've really missed- [coughing]
Kelso: We have breaking news. I'm toasted. Man, they pay me gobs of money to talk like that.
Hyde: Fez, do something with your hair, man. It's making me paranoid.
Fez: Guys, I have discovered a band that will change music forever. [electronic keyboard] [sings Flock of Seagulls "I Ran" off-key]
Eric: I love to cook, you know? I'm really good with sauces.
Kelso: Guys, sometimes when I do the news I don't wear any pants!
Angel: [inhales deeply] Whoo! You know, there are some things about Earth I really miss! [laughs]

Quote from Eric

Angel: Huh? Huh? Start the waterworks.
Eric: [present] Sorry.
Angel: Come on. You gotta feel something.
Eric: [present] Yeah. Envy. He never had to feel the pain of losing her.
Eric: [future] Oh, wait a minute. You actually had a relationship with Donna?
Eric: [present] Wait, I thought you said he couldn't hear me.
Angel: I'm loose with the rules. So sue me.
Eric: [future] No, seriously. You had Donna?
Eric: [present] Look- [sighs] We broke up. You're much better off.
Eric: [future] Says you! Look at me! I'm 28 years old. I've only had sex with Big Rhonda, and all three times, believe me she did not look like that. Idiot!
Eric: [present] You're sad you were never with Donna? Well, you got off light, man. I had her, and I lost her! And believe me, you don't want to know how bad that hurts!
Eric: [future] You're an angel, right?
Angel: Why, yes. Yes, I am.
Eric: [future] Can you, like- Can you do anything to help me?
Angel: Listen closely: No.

Quote from Eric

Eric: You know, Angel, thanks. But I've got to go to sleep, 'cause I have a big day of misery ahead of me.
Angel: Okay, you win. It was better never to have loved at all.
Eric: Thank you.
Angel: And, hey, I'll tell you what. I'll make you a deal. I'm gonna take it all away. You won't feel a thing, good or bad.
Eric: Really? Yes. Yes, do it.
Angel: Okay. Well, let me just remind you what you're giving up. Hang on.
[montage of Eric and Donna]
Eric: Wait. No. I want to keep it. Please, just let me keep it.
[The angel has disappeared]

Quote from Eric

Eric: God, I wish we'd never kissed.
Angel: Geez, what a drama queen.
Eric: Who are you?
Angel: Let's go.
Eric: Go where?
Angel: Well, you said you wished that you'd never kissed her. I can show you what would've happened if you never did.
Eric: What are you, like, a genie?
Angel: Genies aren't real. [scoffs] I'm an angel.
Eric: You're not an angel. You don't even float. Everyone knows angels float.
Angel: Fine. [floats] Eric Forman, God's favorite cherub, come with me and I will release you of your suffering. Don't be afraid little one.
Eric: No offense, but are you coming on to me?

Quote from Eric

Eric: Okay, Mom. Now get one of me giving her the corsage.
Rhonda: Let's roll, Twiggy. My bra's about to snap.
Eric: [present] I went to prom with Big Rhonda?
Angel: Sweet, huh?
Kitty: Real quick, real quick. Now, Rhoda-
Rhonda: It's Rhonda! Rhon-da! God!
Kitty: Rhon-da. I'm so sorry, dear. [chuckles]
Red: I told you he'd fall for the first piece of tail that came along.
Kitty: Shh. Okay. Okay. Now smile. Big night. Big everything. [takes photograph] I'll make you a copy.
Rhonda: Yeah, I want to remember this night. Whoo.
Red: Here, Son. You'll need this. [gives Eric money] Girls like her- They like to eat before the prom. Good luck, Son.

Quote from Eric

Rhonda: Hey, everybody! I just made Forman a man. [chuckles] Well, as much of a man as he'll ever be.
Eric: Kelso and Pam Macy? But Kelso and Jackie got back together on prom night.
Angel: Never happened.
Kelso: I wrote you a love poem, Pam. It goes like this: I love your rack. I'd love to shack... up with you and do it too.
Pam Macy: Oh, Michael. That is so deep.
Kelso: Yeah, I kicked that poem's ass!
Angel: It's all a domino effect, Eric. You see, Hyde wasn't there to take Jackie to prom, so she couldn't make up with Kelso. See?
Eric: Oh, my God. That's so sad. It's like my relationship with Donna touched everyone's life. And I was just gonna throw that a- [blows raspberry]
Angel: Okay, you're unpleasant.
Eric: Just give it up. I don't care. None of this is really that bad anyway.
Angel: Well, it gets a lot worse. Come on. We're going into the future. That's right: the '80s. ["The Safety Dance" by Men without Hats plays]
Eric: Hey, what the hell was that?
Angel: Oh, you'll find out.

Quote from Eric

Angel: Welcome to 1983, Donna and Hyde's wedding.
Eric: Man, did you have to make her pregnant? Good God, I wish I could just wake up.
Angel: Oh-Oh, you may never wake up. This could be a coma dream.
Kelso: Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Steven Hyde from Cedar Rapids's number one anchorman.
Hyde: Kelso, man, glad you could make it.
Kelso: Hey, oh, man, can I kiss the bride?
Donna: Sure. [Kelso kisses Donna] Damn it, Kelso! You don't French the bride!
Rhonda: Where's the food?
Eric: Please, honey, for the love of God-
Rhonda: Don't "honey" me. I'm hungry, stick man. [sniffs]
Hyde: Hey, Forman, so when are you and Big Rhonda gonna tie the knot, huh?
Eric: Oh, I don't know. You know, I'm so busy at Price Mart, and, uh, she has her dog grooming and her cheating on me, so...

Quote from Eric

Eric: Ow!
Kitty: Oh, oh, Jake, honey, honey. Be nice to your big brother. He's not strong like you.
Eric: [present] "Brother"? What the hell?
Angel: Your parents finally had the son they always wanted.
Red: Now, Son, what do we call Eric?
Jake: Dumb-ass!
Red: There's my boy! [Red and Kitty laugh]
Kitty: Oh, what a wonderful wedding. It's so nice when children get married and- and move far away from their parents.
Eric: Or they don't get married and stay at home with their mother who they just couldn't stand to be [singsongy] away from.
Kitty: Oh, God.

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