Elaine: Oh, listen. We should stop off on the way and get a bottle of wine or something.
George: What for?
Elaine: These people invited us for dinner. We have to bring something.
George: Why?
Elaine: Because it's rude, otherwise.
George: You mean just going there because I'm invited... that's rude?
Elaine: Yes.
George: So, you're telling me, instead of being happy to see me they're going to be upset because I didn't bring anything. You see what I'm saying?
Jerry: The fabric of society is very complex, George.

Jerry: See, the thing about eating a black-and-white cookie, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet still somehow, racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie, all our problems would be solved.
Elaine: Your views on race relations are fascinating. You really should do an op-ed piece for the Times.
Jerry: Um, um. Look to the cookie, Elaine. Look to the cookie.
[Jerry raises his cookie to an African-American man, who mirrors the gesture]

George: I don't even drink wine. I drink Pepsi.
Elaine: You can't bring Pepsi.
George: Why not?
Elaine: Because we're adults?
George: What, you're telling me that wine is better than Pepsi? [snorts] Huh, no way wine is better than Pepsi.
Jerry: I'm telling you, George, I don't think we want to walk in there and put a big plastic jug of Pepsi on the table.
George: I just don't like the idea that any time there is a dinner invitation there's this annoying little chore that goes along with it.
Jerry: You know, you're getting to be an annoying little chore yourself.

Elaine: We should bring some cake. Can you stop off at the bakery?
George: Why don't you just get some Ring Dings at the liquor store?
Elaine: Ring Dings?
George: Hey, Ring Dings are better than anything you'll ever get at a bakery.
Kramer: Oh, I like Ring Dings.
Elaine: George, we can't show up at someone's house with Ring Dings and Pepsi.
Kramer: [shouts to a passing vehicle] Hey, your lights are on!
George: It's a funeral procession. And I got news for you. I show up with Ring Dings and Pepsi, I become the biggest hit of the party. People be coming up to me, "Just between you and me I'm really excited about the Ring Dings and the Pepsi. What are we, Europeans with the Beaujolais and Chardonnay?"/p>

George: I really can not comprehend how stupid people can be sometimes. Can you comprehend it?
Kramer: No, no I can't comprehend it?
George: I mean, we can put a man on the moon but we're still basically very stupid. The guy who's car this is? He could be one of the guys who built the rocket. You see what I'm saying?
Kramer: Well, yeah, yeah. He could build the rocket but he's still stupid for double-parking and blocking somebody in.
George: So you really understand my point about building a rocket and double-parking.
Kramer: Yeah, on one hand he's smart with rockets. And on the other part he's dumb with parking. It's cold out here, huh?
George: Maybe it's not even stupidity. Maybe it's just a blatant disregard for basic human decency. This how dictator's start. You think Mussolini would circle the block six times looking for a spot?
Kramer: How about Idi Amin?
George: I'll tell you, if I was running for office I would ask for the death penalty for double-parking. If this is allowed to go on this is not a society. This is anarchy!

[stand-up:]
Jerry: It is my opinion we never should have landed a man on the moon. It's a mistake. Now everything is compared to that one accomplishment. Now everybody goes, "I can't believe they could land a man on the moon... and taste my coffee!" I think we all would have been a lot happier if they hadn't landed a man on the moon. Then we'd go, "They can't make a prescription bottle top that's easy to open? I'm not surprised they couldn't land a man on the moon. Things make perfect sense to me now." Neil Armstrong should have said, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for every complaining SOB on the face of the earth. "

Elaine: I was just thinking. You know, the four of us can't show up with just one bottle of wine.
George: Oh, here we go.
Elaine: What?
George: Why don't we get them a couch? We'll rent a U-Haul. We'll bring them a nice sectional.

Elaine: Well, how about a carrot cake?
Jerry: Carrot cake? Now why is that a cake? You don't make carrots into a cake. I'm sorry.
Elaine: Black Forrest?
Jerry: Black Forrest? Too scary. You're in the Forrest, ooh. Hey, how about a Napoleon?
Elaine: Napoleon? Who's he to have a cake? He was a ruthless war monger. Might as well get Mengle.
Jerry: That was our babka. We had that babka!

George: All right, we got the wine. Aren't we lucky? We got wine. Whoop-di-whoa. Imagine if we didn't bring wine. We'd be shunned by society. Outcasts! Where's your wine?! Get out!

Jerry: Is it cold out?
Elaine: It's really cold.
Jerry: Scary cold.
Elaine: I don't know. What's your definition of scary cold?
[George enters in a thick Gore-Tex jacket]
Jerry: That.