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‘The Betrayal’ Quotes

Seinfeld: The Betrayal

908. The Betrayal

Aired November 20, 1997

The story of Elaine, Jerry and George's trip to India for Sue Ellen Mishke's wedding, told in reverse.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: You're not gonna believe what I got in the mail. Invitation to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding.
Jerry: At least the wedding gown will give her some support.
Elaine: Not the point. The wedding is in one week. I got this today.
Jerry: So you think it's a non-vite.
Elaine: It's an un-vitation.

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Quote from George

George: Well, wait a minute. Nina just saw me in my Timberlands. Now I have to wear them every time I see her.
Jerry: Why?
George: In any other shoe, I lose two inches. I can't have a drop-down. We're eye to eye. I can't go eye to chin.
Jerry: So you're gonna wear them no matter what the situation?
George: In every situation. No matter how silly I look.

Quote from George

George: Ah, this is the kind of day that almost makes you feel good to be alive.
Jerry: New Timberlands?
George: Yeah, and a whole new me. I'm up two inches on these babies.
Jerry: Really?
George: 5'8". [off Jerry's look] 5'7".

Quote from Susan Ross

George: How was the date?
Jerry: Pretty good. I think she might be the one.
George: [to the waitress] Oh, French fries.
Susan Ross: Eh, George.
George: Baked potato. Sorry.
Susan Ross: Yeah, you stuff your sorries in a sack, mister.

Quote from George

George: So, Elaine, are you going to sleep with me or what?!
Elaine: George, I just got off a twenty-three hour plane ride. I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought.
George: Fine. I'll ask you again when you're rested.
Jerry: Oh, I'm sure she'll come around.
George: Yeah, I hope so. For your sake!
[Kramer enters]
Jerry: I said I was sorry.
George: You can stuff you sorries in a sack, mister!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: What's up with you two?
George: I don't want to talk about it.
Kramer: So how was the big trip?
Jerry: I don't want to talk about it!
Kramer: Well, what happened to your nose?
Elaine: I don't want to talk ab-ow!-t it! [winces]

Quote from George

Sue Ellen: That's it! The wedding's off.
Pinter: What? But, Sue Ellen-
Sue Ellen: Elaine, you were my maid of honor and you slept with my Pinter?!
Elaine: No, no, no! It was years ago. Before you met him. And, and I got to tell you.. it was very mechanical.
Sue Ellen: I have never been so humiliated!
Elaine: Idiots! This is all your fault!
George: Not me! Him! His fault! He betrayed me!
Jerry: George, I'm sorry.
George: Well, you can stuff your sorries in a sack, Mister!
Jerry: I don't know what that means.

Quote from George

George: All right, Nina, you have to decide right now. Jerry or me?
Nina: All right.. Neither.
George: What?! Well, what are you doing here?
Nina: A free trip to India. And by the way, you can take off those boots. Everyone knows you're 5'6"".
George: 5'8". [off Jerry's look] 5'7".

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: What happened last night?
Jerry: Oh, you were pretty loaded.
Elaine: I know. I woke up with this.
Jerry: Oh. Hello, Tetanus.

Quote from George

Nina: George, I've used the bathroom. It's fine.
George: No, no, no, no. I can walk it off. It's a hundred and twenty degrees in here. I'll sweat it out.

Quote from George

Jerry: George, we need to talk.
George: I think you've done a lot more than talk! You betrayed me!
Jerry: All right, I admit it. I slept with Nina, but that's all.
George: "That's all"?! That's everything! I don't know what all the rest of it is for anyway!
Jerry: I'm really sorry.
George: You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!
Jerry: Where'd you get that one?
George: It's an expression.

Quote from George

George: Look, we are gonna settle this right now. I demand reparations. I should get to sleep with Elaine. That's the only way to punish you.
Jerry: That doesn't punish me. It punishes Elaine! And cruelly, I might add.
George: Funny guy.

Quote from George

Elaine: Hey, monkeys. Knock it off. My best friend is trying to get married up here!
George: Elaine, you have to sleep with me.
Elaine: I'm not gonna sleep with you.
George: Reparations!
Elaine: Would you grow up, George?! What is the difference? Nina slept with him, he slept with me, I slept with Pinter. Nobody cares! It's all ancient history.
George: [loudly] You slept with the groom?!

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: I can't tell you.
Jerry: Here, drink this.
Elaine: Okay. I slept with the groom.
Jerry: Pinter?
Elaine: He used to be called Peter.
Jerry: So? Who cares about that?
Elaine: Sue Ellen! If she knew, she'd call off the whole wedding.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Oh boy. There's Sue Ellen. She didn't want me at this wedding, but here I am with a buch of my idiot friends!
Jerry: This is gonna be great!
Sue Ellen: Elaine? Oh! Oh, I am so happy to see you!
Elaine: You are?
Sue Ellen: Well, of course! No one else was even willing to come to India. I mean, not even Pinter's parents and they're Indian.
Elaine: Come on, Sue Ellen. You don't wear a bra, you're tall. We hate each other!
Sue Ellen: Elaine, I know. I know we've had our problems, but.. I want you to be my maid of honor and my best friend.
Elaine: Huh. All right, I guess.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Here's your plane ticket.
Jerry: What are you talking about?
Elaine: Sue Ellen sends me an invitation one week before her wedding in India. I'll show her.
Jerry: By flying half way around the world?
Elaine: Spite never sleeps.
Jerry: Especially when you got a layover in Sarajevo.

Quote from Newman

Newman: You see, my dear, all certified mail is registered, but registered mail is not necessarily certified.
Model: I could listen to you talk about mail all day.
Newman: Anything you wish. I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes: they're meaningless. [laughs]

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: You slept with Nina. What are you gonna tell George?
Jerry: Nothing. And neither will you. George can never know about this. It'll crush him.
Elaine: All right, all right, I'll put it in the vault.
Jerry: No good. Too many people know the combination.
Elaine: What combination? [Jerry mimes drinking] Don't be ridiculous.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Oh, my God, this drawer is filled with Froot Loops.
Elaine: So what?
Jerry: And milk.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Well, everybody's cranky on their birthday.
George: Oh, it's a bad day. You got everyone in your house, you're thinking, "These are my friends?"
Jerry: Everyday is my birthday.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: We were too compatible. Our conversations were so engrossing.
George: How engrossing?
Jerry: If we had a problem with Elaine, we could bring in Nina and not lose a step.
George: You don't have a replacement lined up for me, do you? [chuckles; Jerry is silent]
Jerry: ... Anyway, like I was saying, I couldn't make the transition from conversation to sex. There were no awkward pauses. I need an awkward pause.
George: I'm all awkward pauses. Fix me up with her.

Quote from Jerry

Nina: and they call it the World Wide Web. You can e-mail anyone.
Jerry: What are you, a scientist?
Nina: Ah. Gotta go. It was great talking. [exits]
Jerry: Great talking to you. What the hell is e-mail?

Quote from Jerry

Kramer: Hey, how you doing?
Jerry: Oh, hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I'm moving in. I saw your name on the buzzer. You must be Kessler.
Kramer: No, actually, it's Kramer.
Jerry: Oh.
Kramer: You need any help or...?
Jerry: No, thanks. But I ordered a pizza, you want some of it?
Kramer: No, no, no. I couldn't impose.
Jerry: Why not? We're neighbors. What's mine is yours.
Kramer: Really?

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: Oh, nobody's calling off any weddings. All right, it's time to go. Come on. Up.
Elaine: Do you know what 'Jerry' is in Indian?
Jerry: No, what?
Elaine: Jugdish.
Jerry: Yes, jugdish.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Ranawat.
Mr. Ranawat: Please. Please. Call us Usha and Zubin.
Elaine: Well, Usha...
Mr. Ranawat: I'm Zubin.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Anyway, your son is marrying my friend, Sue Ellen Mischke...
Mrs. Ranawat: You're not going to the wedding, are you?
Elaine: Well...
Mrs. Ranawat: Don't go. India is a dreadful, dreadful place.
Mr. Ranawat: You know, it's the only country that still has the plague. [laughs] I mean, the plague. Please.
Mrs. Ranawat: Here's the registry. Send her a gift and be glad you did not have to go.
Elaine: Right. Don't go, send a gift? I think I understand.
Mr. Ranawat: If I had to go to India, I wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire trip.
Elaine: That's fantastic.
Mr. Ranawat: And I'm not so crazy about Manhattan either.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: All right, FDR.. This wish is for all the marbles. You win, you get your wish, I drop dead. I win, I don't drop dead, and I get one-hundred percent anti-drop-dead protection. Forever.
FDR: All right. [they pull, FDR wins]
Kramer: Oh, man! Well, then, come on. There's got to be something that'll change your mind, FDR. Something. [FDR picks up chiller] What, you want my kidney? [FDR removes snow ball] Mama!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Hey, FDR wants me to drop dead.
George: FDR?
Kramer: Yeah, Franklin Delano Romanowski. I go to his birthday party and just before he blew out his candles he gives me this look.
George: Stink eye?
Jerry: Crook eye?
Kramer: Evil eye.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Oh, hey, hey. Yeah. Check it out. Man, it's packing tight.
Jerry: Why are you bringing snowballs in here for?
Kramer: I need some water. Ice it up, nice and hard. Then when you throw it... Oh, look, there's my friend FDR. I'm gonna nail him in the back of the head. It's gonna be great.


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