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‘The Strike’ Quotes

Seinfeld: The Strike

910. The Strike

Aired December 18, 1997

George is horrified when Frank revives the holiday he created, Festivus. Kramer starts work again at a bagel store after a twelve-year strike. Meanwhile, Elaine tries to retrieve a loyalty card, and Jerry can't make up his mind about the woman he's dating.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: Kramer, I got your message. I haven't celebrated Festivus in years! What is your interest?
Kramer: Well, just tell me everything, huh?
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us!
Kramer: That must have been some kind of doll.
Frank Costanza: She was.

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Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Great news. Yeah, the strike has been settled. I'm going back to work.
Jerry: What strike?
Kramer: Yeah, H&H Bagels. That's where I worked.
Jerry: You?
Elaine: Worked?
Jerry: Bagels?
Kramer: Yeah. Look, see. I still have my business card. [shows it to Elaine] Yeah, we've been on strike for 12 years.
Elaine: Oh, I remember seeing those guys picketing out there, but I haven't seen them in a long time.
Kramer: Yeah, well, H&H wouldn't let us use their bathroom while we were picketing. It put a cramp on our solidarity.
Elaine: What were your demands?
Kramer: Yeah, 5.35 an hour. And that's what they're paying now.
Elaine: I believe that's the new minimum wage.
Kramer: And now you know who to thank for that! All right, I've got to go.
Jerry: Why didn't you ever mention this?
Kramer: Jerry, I didn't want you to know I was out of work. It's embarrassing.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.
Kramer: Is there a tree?
Frank Costanza: No. Instead, there's a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.
Kramer: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.
Frank Costanza: Let's do it then! Festivus is back! I'll get the pole out of the crawl space.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: Welcome, new comers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people and now you're gonna hear about it! You, Kruger. My son tells me your company stinks.
George: Oh, God.
Frank Costanza: [to George] Quiet, you'll get yours in a minute. Kruger, you couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe- I lost my train of thought.

Quote from George

George: Hey, check this out. I gotta give out Christmas presents to everyone down at Kruger, so I'm pulling a Whatley. [hands a Christmas card to Jerry]
Jerry: "A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund." What is that?
George: Made it up.
Jerry: "The Human Fund. Money for people."
George: What do you think?
Jerry: It has a certain understated stupidity.
George: The Outlaw Josey Whales!

Quote from George

Jerry: You're gonna open your mail here?
George: Hey, at least I'm bringing something to this. "Have you seen me?" Nope. Whoa, something from Whatley.
Jerry: See? You give, and you get.
George: "This holiday season a donation has been made in your name to the Children's Alliance."?
Jerry: Oh, that's nice.
George: I got him Yankee's tickets. He got me a piece of paper saying "I've given your gift to someone else!"
Jerry: To a children's charity.
George: Don't you see how wrong that is?! Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye!
Jerry: Do me favor. Don't get me anything this year.

Quote from George

Elaine: What is it? [grabs the card] "Dear son, Happy Festivus." What is Festivus?
George: It's nothing. Stop it.
Jerry: When George was growing up..
George: Jerry, No!
Jerry: His father..
George: No!
Jerry: Hated all the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday.
Elaine: Oh, and another piece of the puzzle falls into place.
Jerry: And instead of a tree, didn't your father put up an aluminum pole?
George: Jerry, stop it!
Jerry: And weren't there a feats of strength that always ended up with you crying?
George: I can't take it anymore! I'm going to work! Are you happy now?!

Quote from George

George: Hey, take a look at this.
Jerry: $20,000 from Kruger? You're not keeping this?
George: I don't know.
Jerry: Excuse me?
George: I've been doing a lot of thinking. This might be my chance to start giving something back.
Jerry: You want to give something back? Start with the $20,000.
George: I'm serious.
Jerry: You're going to start your own charity?
George: I think I could be a philanthropist. A kick-ass philanthropist! I would have all this money, and people would love me. Then they would come to me.. and beg! And if I felt like it, I would help them out. And then they would owe me big time! First thing I'm gonna need is a driver.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: All right, everybody! I'm back!
Manager: Who are you?
Kramer: Cosmo Kramer, strikes over.
Manager: Oh, yeah. Kramer.
Kramer: Huh. Didn't any of the guys come back?
Manager: NO, I'm sure they all got jobs, like, ten years ago.
Kramer: Oh, man. Makes you wonder what it was all for.
Manager: I could use someone for the holidays.
Kramer: All right. Toss me an apron, let's bagel! [takes off jacket, but it in the display cabinet] What are those?
Manager: Those are raisin bagels.
Kramer: I never thought I'd live to see that.

Quote from George

Kruger: George, we have a problem. There's a memo here from accounting telling me there's no such thing as the Human Fund.
George: Well, there could be.
Kruger: But there isn't.
George: Well, I... I could, uh... I could give the money back. Here. [holds it out]
Kruger: George, I don't get it. If there's no Human Fund, those donation cards were fake. You better have a damn good reason why you gave me a fake Christmas gift.
George: Well, sir, I... I gave out the fake card, because, um, I don't really celebrate Christmas. I, um... I celebrate Festivus.
Kruger: Venomous?
George: Festivus, sir. And, uh, I was afraid that I would be persecuted for my beliefs. They drove my family out of Bayside, sir!
Kruger: Are you making all this up, too?
George: Oh, no, sir. Festivus is all too real. And I could prove it if I have to.
Kruger: Yeah, you probably should.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: It's made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.
Kruger: I find your belief system fascinating.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Oh, I got denim vest checking me out. [laughs] Fake phone number's coming out tonight.
Jerry: You have a standard fake?
Elaine: Mm-hmm. Spells out NO-ELAINE.
Jerry: Isn't that eight letters?
Elaine: The extra E is for euch.

Quote from George

George: Hey How'd it go with that girl?
Jerry: Great, I'm going out with her tomorrow night. How'd it go with the cocktail franks?
George: Great. I ate the entire platter. Had to call in sick today.
Jerry: Didn't you call in sick yesterday?
George: Hey, I work for Kruger Industrial Smoothing: "We don't care, and it shows."

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Oh, nothing for me. I'm going to "Atomic Sub" later.
Jerry: "Atomic Sub"? Why are you eating there?
Elaine: I got a card, and they stamp it every time I buy a sub. 24 stamps, and I become a submarine [salutes] captain.
Jerry: What does that mean?
Elaine: Free sub.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Hey, neighbor.
Jerry: Are you reading my VCR manual?
Kramer: Hey, we can't all be reading the classics, Professor High Brow.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Oh, I can't believe it. I've lost my "Atomic Sub" card. Oh, no. I bet I wrote that fake number on the back of it when I gave it to denim vest.
Jerry: So?
Elaine: I've eaten 23 bad subs, I just need 1 more. It's like a long, bad movie, but you want to see the end of it.
Jerry: No, you walk out.
Elaine: All right, then, it's like a boring book, but you gotta finish it.
Jerry: No, you wait for the movie.
Elaine: I want that free sub.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: You don't need the card. High-end hoagie outfit like that, it's all computerized. [snaps] They're cloning sheep now.
Kramer: No, they're not cloning sheep. It's the same sheep. I saw Harry Blackstone do that trick with two goats and a handkerchief on the old Dean Martin show!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Ah, gentlemen. Bagels on the house!
Jerry: How was your first day?
Kramer: Oh, fantastic! [Jerry and George both pick out a bagel] It felt so good to get my hands back in that dough.
[Jerry and George stop before taking a bite of their bagels]
Jerry: Your hands were in the dough?
Kramer: No, I didn't make these bagels. [Jerry and George both take a bite] Yeah, they're day-olds. The homeless won't even touch them. [Jerry and George stop eating] Oh, we try to fool them by putting a few fresh ones on top, but they dig... They... They test.

Quote from George

George: Uh, well, I'm out of here.
Jerry: Happy Festivus!
Kramer: What's Festivus?
Jerry: When George was growing up...
George: No!
Jerry: His father...
George: Stop it! It's nothing. It's a stupid holiday my father invented. It doesn't exist!
Elaine: Happy Festivus, Georgie.
George: God!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Ah, listen, Harry, I need the 23rd off.
Manager: Hey! I hired you to work during the holidays. This is the holidays.
Kramer: But it's Festivus.
Manager: What?
Kramer: You know you're infringing on my right to celebrate new holidays..
Manager: That's not a right.
Kramer: Well, it's going to be. Because I'm going back on strike. Come on, Elaine. [takes apron off] It's a walk out!
Elaine: No, I got to stay here and wait for the call.
Kramer: What? You're siding with management?!
Elaine: No, I just..
Kramer: Scab! Scab! Scab!

Quote from George

Kramer: Well, Happy Festivus.
George: What is that? Is that the pole?!
Frank Costanza: George, Festivus is your heritage. It's part of who you are.
George: That's why I hate it.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: George, you're forgetting how much Festivus has meant to us all. I brought one of the cassette tapes. [Franks pushes play]
Frank Costanza: [on tape] Read that poem.
George: [on tape] I can't read it. I need my glasses!
Frank Costanza: [on tape] You don't need glasses, you're just weak! You're weak!
Estelle Costanza: [on tape] Leave him alone!
Frank Costanza: [on tape] All right, George. It's time for the feats of strength.
George: No! No! Turn it off! No feats of strength! [runs out of the coffee shop] I hate Festivus!
Frank Costanza: We had some good times.

Quote from Kramer

Manager: Lady, if you want a sandwich, I'll make you a sandwich.
Elaine: [whining] I want the one that I earned. [phone rings] I'll get it. I'll get it! [answers phone] H&H, and Elaine.
Kramer: Elaine, you should get out of there. I sabotaged the bagel machine last night. It's going down.
Elaine: What did you do?
Kramer: You've been warned.
[Kramer waves from the payphone immediately outside the bagel shop]
Elaine: Oh, hi! [waves]
Worker: Hey, the steam valve's broke.
Manager: Can we still make bagels?
Worker: Sure. It's just a little steamy.
Kramer: [knocks on window] Hey! How do you like your bagels now?!

Quote from Frank Costanza

George: Happy Festivus!
Frank Costanza: George? This is a surprise. [looking at Kruger] Who's the suit?
George: Yo, dad. This is my boss, Mr. Kruger.
Frank Costanza: Have you seen the pole, Kruger?
George: No, he doesn't need to see the pole.
Frank Costanza: He's gonna see it.

Quote from Kramer

Frank Costanza: And now as Festivus rolls on, we come to the feats of strength.
George: Not the feats of strength.
Frank Costanza: This year, the honor goes to Mr. Kramer.
Kramer: Uh-oh. Oh, gee, Frank, I'm sorry. I gotta go. I have to work a double shift at H&H.
Jerry: I thought you were on strike?
Kramer: Well, I caved. I mean, I really had to use their bathroom. Frank, no offence, but this holiday is a little [wacky noises] out there.

Quote from Frank Costanza

George: Kramer, you can't go! Who's gonna do the feats of strength?
Kruger: [sipping liquor] How about George?
Frank Costanza: Good thinking, Kruger. Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over!
George: Oh, please, somebody, stop this!
Frank Costanza: Let's rumble!
[outside shot:]
Estelle Costanza: I think you can take him, Georgie!
George: Oh, come on! Be sensible.
Frank Costanza: Stop crying, and fight your father!
George: Ow! .. Ow! I give, I give! Uncle!
Frank Costanza: This is the best Festivus ever!


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