Kramer: Dean Jones, you wanting to talk to me?
Dean Jones: I've been reviewing Darin's internship journal. Doing laundry?
Kramer: Yeah.
Dean Jones: Mending chicken wire? High tea with a Mr. Newman?
Kramer: I know it sounds pretty glamorous, but it's business as usual at Kramerica.
Dean Jones: As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.
Kramer: And with Darin's help, we'll get that chicken.
Dean Jones: I'm sorry, but we can't allow Darin to continue working with you.
Kramer: Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary.
Dean Jones: Your fly is open.

Kramer: Look at this, they are redoing the Cloud Club.
Jerry: Oh, that restaurant on top of the Chrysler building? Yeah, that's a good idea.
Kramer: Of course it's a good idea, it's my idea. I conceived this whole project two years ago.
Jerry: Which part? The renovating the restaurant you don't own part or spending the two hundred million you don't have part?
Kramer: You see, I come up with these things, I know they're gold, but nothing happens. You know why?
Jerry: No resources, no skill, no talent, no ability, no brains...?
Kramer: No. No time! It's all these menial tasks. Laundry, grocery, shopping, coming in here talking to you. Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?
Jerry: I can ball park it.

Jerry: [on the phone] What's going on?
George: Siege mentality, Jerry. They really want me out of here. They've downgraded me to some sort of a bunker. I'm like Hitler's last days here.
Jerry: So, are you going to leave?
George: Oh, no. I'm invigorated. They'll never get me out. I'm like a weed, Jerry.
Jerry: I thought you're like Hitler in the bunker?
George: I'm a weed in Hitler's bunker.
Jerry: I'm getting a little uncomfortable with the Hitler stuff.

George: Well, Play Now is through playing. They turned the heat way up in my office. They tried to sweat me out.
Jerry: [to Darin] Do you have to write all this stuff down?
Darin: Well, Mr. Kramer is in a meeting with Mr. Lomez, but he didn't want to miss anything.
Jerry: [to George] So, how hot did it get?
George: I don't know, 120, 130…Then they sent some guys to sandblast for 6 hours. Tomorrow, they are putting in asbestos.
Jerry: I guess you can take anything, but actual work.
George: Bring it on!

Jerry: Well, that's it. You two are back together.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: The bump into. The bump into always leads to the backslide.
Elaine: David and I will not be getting back together.
Jerry: Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push, you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.
George: That's beautiful.

Thomassoulo: George, you're not really handicapped, are you?
George: I've had my difficulties.
Thomassoulo: I saw you running down Amsterdam Avenue lifting that 200 pound motorized cart with one hand.
George: Mr. Thomassoulo, during times of great stress, people are capable of super human strength. Have you ever seen the Incredible Hulk, sir?
Thomassoulo: No
George: How about the old Spider Man live action show?
Thomassoulo: George, I've realized we've signed a one-year contract with you, but at this point I think it's best that we both go our separate ways.
George: I don't understand.
Thomassoulo: We don't like you. We want you to leave.
George: Clearer.

Jerry: So you're staying at Play Now?
George: Why not? Pay is good, I got dental, private access to one of the great handicapped toilets in the city.
Jerry: But they not you aren't handicapped. Aren't you ashamed?
George: They're the ones who should be ashamed. They signed me to a one-year contract. As long as I show up for work every day, they have to pay me.

Clare: So I'll call you tonight?
Jerry: Yeah.
Clare: What's wrong with the belt?
Jerry: I went to the movies last night, I went to the bathroom and I unbuckled a little wobbly and the buckle kind of banged against the side of the urinal. So… [throws away belt] that's it!
Clare: So, you're insane?
Jerry: Oh yes, quite.
Kramer: [enters] Hello.
Jerry: Of course, it's a sliding scale.

Kramer: Man, 2.9 percent financing on a Toyota one-ton. That was my idea too!

Jerry: Who's he?
Kramer: My intern from NYU. Well, you remember my corporation, Kramerica Industries?
Jerry: All right.
Kramer: Well, apparently NYU is very enthusiastic about their students getting some real-world corporate experience.
Jerry: But you only provide fantasy-world corporate experience.
Kramer: Well, this will really free up my time so I can focus on more important things, like my bladder system.
Jerry: All right, it's time to go.
Kramer: No, Jerry, it's not for people. It's for oil tankers.
Jerry: I know!
Kramer: You see, the idea is for a rubber ball inside the tanker so if it crashes, the oil won't spill out.
Jerry: Actually, that is not a bad idea. Now, it's time to go.