Seinfeld Quote of the Day

Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Quote from Kramer in The Doll

Kramer: Jerry, why don't you do a bit on Styrofoam?
Jerry: Like what?
Kramer: Well, uh... [impersonate Jerry's act] "What is this stuff? Why do we need this stuff?.. And why do they make them so small..?"
Jerry: Where's the punchline?
Kramer: It's all attitude.

Rate

Recent Quotes

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Quote from Elaine in The Mango

Jerry: You faked with me?
Elaine: Yes.
Jerry: No.
Elaine: Yes.
Jerry: You faked it?
Elaine: I faked it.
Jerry: That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?
Elaine: Not bad, huh?
Jerry: What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?
Elaine: Fake, fake, fake, fake.
Jerry: I'm stunned, I'm shocked! How many times did you do this?
Elaine: Umm... All the time.
Jerry: All the time?!

Monday, May 20, 2024

Quote from Elaine in The Little Kicks

Elaine: [on the phone] I'm telling you, Jerry, I'm getting a vibe. If I didn't know better, I'd say the staff completely lost respect for me. [Dugan mocks her dancing in the background]
Jerry: How could that be?
Elaine: Jerry, it's like the feeling is palpable. You think it could have something to do with the party?
Jerry: No, George was there, he said he had a great time.
Elaine: Oh, it's George. I bet you this is somehow George related.
Jerry: Oh, what are you talking about?
Elaine: He's like a virus. He attaches himself to a healthy host company, and the next thing you know, the entire staff's infected.

Sunday, May 19, 2024

Quote from Jerry in The Apartment

Jerry: My censoring system broke down. You know that little guy in your head who watches everything you say? Makes sure you don't make a mistake? He went for a cup of coffee, and in that second, ruined my life.
George: My censor quit two years ago. He checked into a clinic. Emotionally exhausted.

Saturday, May 18, 2024

Quote from George in The Invitations

George: If she would just take a plane somewhere.
Jerry: And what, hope for a crash?
George: It happens.
Jerry: You know what the odds are on a crash? It's a million to one.
George: It's something. It's hope!

Friday, May 17, 2024

Quote from Jerry in The Kiss Hello

Jerry: Well, I'm going on record right now that that was my last kiss hello. I am getting off the kiss program with her.
Elaine: Why?
Jerry: Well, you know, frankly, outside of a sexual relationship, I don't see the point to it. I'm not thrilled with all the handshaking either, but one step at a time.

Thursday, May 16, 2024

Quote from George in The Junk Mail

Rhisa: All right, George. I'm ready.
George: Yeah, hold on. I'm, uh, I'm just trying to get a reading on my dashboard compass. Where are my parents?
Rhisa: Georgie.
Frankie: [yells through the window] Is this Seinfeld's van? Seinfeld's van? Seinfeld's van?!
Rhisa: Wait. What's he saying?
George: I think he's saying Son of Sam! Oh, my God!
Rhisa: No, they caught him.
George: [running away] I knew it wasn't Berkowitz!

Upcoming Quotes

Thursday, May 23, 2024

A quote from George in the episode The Contest.

Friday, May 24, 2024

A quote from Kramer in the episode The Doll.

Saturday, May 25, 2024

A quote from Jerry in the episode The Beard.

Sunday, May 26, 2024

A quote from George in the episode The Muffin Tops.

Monday, May 27, 2024

A quote from George in the episode The Apartment.