Seinfeld Quote of the Day
Sunday, July 3, 2022
Jerry: To me, the whole concept of fear of success is proof that we are definitely scraping the bottom of the fear barrel. Are we gonna have to have AA-type meetings for these people? They'll go: "Hi, my name is Bill, and the one thing I'm worried about is having a stereo and a cream-colored couch." According to most studies, people's number-one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Now, this means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Saturday, July 2, 2022
Connie: [on phone] You gotta meet me at the police station. They're arresting me for attempted murder.
Jackie Chiles: Attempted murder? Of whom?
Connie: This guy, Kramer.
Jackie Chiles: Oh. Cosmo Kramer?
Connie: Yeah, that's right.
Jackie Chiles: I don't want nothing to do with it. [hangs up]
Friday, July 1, 2022
Elaine: What does it mean anyway? "God bless you". It's a stupid 'stuperstition'.
Jerry: A stupid what?
Thursday, June 30, 2022
Jerry: Babu, I'm gonna fix everything! I have a lawyer who knows someone in the Immigration Department, they're gonna straighten the whole thing out. The wheels are in motion. Things are happening even as we speak!
Babu: The wheels are in motion?
Jerry: The wheels are in motion. Things are happening!
Wednesday, June 29, 2022
Jerry: I think the best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best part of being sick is when you're in a relationship. And if I was to get married, you know all those vows: for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, all I need is the sickness. That, to me, is the most important one. Do you take this man in sickness? That's the only time I need somebody there. Rest of the time, go out, have a ball, do whatever you want, but if I get the sniffles, you better be there.
Tuesday, June 28, 2022
Jerry: Or maybe he liked your gift so much, he decided to get me the same thing. Perhaps it's an homage.
Elaine: Yeah, perhaps.
Jerry: Well, how did he react when you gave it to him?
Elaine: Um, he said, "Oh, a label maker. How about that?"
Jerry: He repeated the name of the gift?
Elaine: Yeah, so?
Jerry: Oh, well, if you repeat the name of the gift, you can't possibly like it.
Elaine: What do you mean?
Jerry: Oh, you know, like when someone opens something up and they go, "Oh. Tube socks."
Monday, June 27, 2022
George: What's that?
Jerry: It's a Wizard electronic organizer for my dad. I'm going to Florida for his birthday.
George: How much was it?
Jerry: Two hundred, but I'll tell him it was 50. He doesn't care for the gift, he gets excited about the deal.
George: Where are you getting a Wizard for $50?
Jerry: Eh, I'll tell him I got it on the street and maybe it's hot. That's his favorite.
Monday, July 4, 2022
Tuesday, July 5, 2022
Wednesday, July 6, 2022
Thursday, July 7, 2022
Friday, July 8, 2022