Seinfeld Quote of the Day

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Quote from Kramer in The Face Painter

Jerry: Look, what do you want me to do?
Kramer: I want you to get on this phone and give him his thank you!
Jerry: No. No, I can't!
Kramer: Jerry, this is the way society functions. Aren't you a part of society? Because if you don't want to be a part of society, Jerry, why don't you just get in your car and move to the East Side!
Jerry: Look, we got five hours before the game. I am betting it was a funeral hello. He knows we're here, he knows the number, he knows we want to go. There's plenty of time for him to call and give us the tickets.
Kramer: You stubborn, stupid, silly man!

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Recent Quotes

Monday, January 18, 2021

Quote from Frank Costanza in The Understudy

Frank Costanza: I had an affair with a Korean woman.
Elaine: Uh, Mr. Costanza, I …
Frank Costanza: No, I feel I need to unburden myself. I loved her very deeply. But the clash of cultures was too much. Her family would not accept me.
Elaine: Mr. Costanza, I'm...
Frank Costanza: Maybe it was because I refused to take off my shoes. Again, the foot odor problem. Her father would look at me and say... [speaks Korean]. Which means, "this guy - this is not my kind of guy".

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Quote from Jerry in The Race

Jerry: By the time the race was over, I had won. I was shocked nobody had noticed the head start.
Elaine: Really?
Jerry: And I had won by so much, a myth began to grow about my speed. Only Duncan suspected something was amiss. He's hated me ever since. Now he's back.
Elaine: Well, what happened when you raced him again?
Jerry: I never did. In four years of high school, I would never race anyone again. Not even to the end of the block to catch a bus. And so the legend grew. Everyone wanted me to race. They begged me. The track coach called my parents, pleading. Telling them it was a sin to waste my god given talent. But I answered him in the same way I answered everyone, "I chose not to run."

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Quote from George in The Blood

Jerry: So, the free love buffet is over?
George: I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.
Jerry: Yeah, that's what you did.

Friday, January 15, 2021

Quote from Jerry in The Pilot

Tom Pepper: What do you mean made up?
Jerry: It's made up. Haagen-Dazs is made up. It's not Danish.
Tom Pepper: You're crazy.
Jerry: No, I'm not. George. Is Haagen-Dazs Danish?
Michael: What do you mean Danish?
George: [to the guy next to him] This guy stinks.
Jerry: Danish. Is it from Denmark?
Michael: No, they make it in New Jersey. It's just a Danish-sounding name.
Tom Pepper: I can't believe that. They fooled me, Jerry.
Rita: [watching, to Jay] Boy, talk about a show about nothing.

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Quote from Kramer in The Little Kicks

Kramer: I wouldn't walk over there.
Jerry: Why not?
Kramer: It's the most dangerous part of the sidewalk. Cab hops a curb... You've had your last egg sandwich.
Jerry: What about over there? You know air conditioners fall out all the time.
Kramer: I'd much rather get hit by an 80 pound air conditioner than a two ton cab.
Jerry: No, cab's coming in right here. Set of plastic hips, prosthetic legs, and a monkey to answer the door, I'm back in business.
Kramer: I'd much rather take one in the head, like I did in '79.
Jerry: You were living in the village then, right?
Kramer: Don't really remember.

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Quote from Jerry in The Label Maker

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Loyalty to any one sports team is pretty hard to justify. Because the players are always changing, the team can move to another city. You're actually rooting for the clothes when you get right down to it. You know what I mean, you are standing and cheering and yelling for your clothes to beat the clothes from another city. Fans will be so in love with a player but if he goes to another team, they boo him. This is the same human being in a different shirt, they hate him now. Boo! Different shirt! Boo.

Upcoming Quotes

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

A quote from Kramer in the episode The Opposite.

Thursday, January 21, 2021

A quote from Kramer in the episode The Face Painter.

Friday, January 22, 2021

A quote from Jerry in the episode The Chinese Restaurant.

Saturday, January 23, 2021

A quote from Elaine in the episode The Movie.

Sunday, January 24, 2021

A quote from George in the episode The Abstinence.