Seinfeld Quote of the Day

Thursday, December 9, 2021

Quote from Jerry in The Revenge

Jerry: This stuff on top is my friend's. Could I get it done in a separate machine?
Vic: I'll have to charge you for another machine.
Jerry: Whatever it costs. In fact, I would prefer it if the machines are not even touching each other. Because something could, you know, jump across.


Recent Quotes

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Quote from Jerry in The Letter

Jerry: Do you think that the security guards in the art museums really ever stop anybody from taking the paintings? I mean, are they going up to people going, "Hey, where do you think you're going with that? Hey, come over here. Come over here. Give me that Cezanne." I mean, look at the job that this man is hired to do. He's getting five dollars an hour to protect millions of dollars of priceless art with what? He's got a light mocha brown uniform and a USA Today. This is what he's got. I mean, crooks must look at this guy and think, "Well, all we've got to do is get past the folding chair and the thermos of coffee, and we can get a Rembrandt."

Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Quote from Jackie Chiles in The Finale

Jackie Chiles: Is everybody ready? Didn't I tell you I wanted you to wear the cardigan?
George: It makes me look older.
Jackie Chiles: Look older? Do you think this is a game? Is that what you think this is? I'm trying to give you a moral compass. You have no moral compass. You're going to walk into that courtroom, and the jury's going to see a mean, nasty, evil George Costanza. I want them to see Perry Como. No one's going to convict Perry Como. Perry Como helps out a fat tub who's getting robbed.

Monday, December 6, 2021

Quote from George in The Big Salad

George: Well, well, well. I'm not treating you to lunch anymore! You had to tell Julie that I made a special point of telling you that I bought you the big salad, didn't you?
Elaine: Oh.
George: You know, if it was a regular salad I wouldn't have said anything. But you had to have the big salad!

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Quote from Newman in The Soul Mate

Pam: Oh, hi! Kramer.
Newman: [whispers to Kramer] Hi. How are you?
Kramer: Hi. How are you?
Pam: I'm great.
Newman: I too am well.
Kramer: I too am well.
Newman: Do I smell Pantene?
Kramer: Do I smell?
Newman: Pantene!
Kramer: Uh, Pantene.
Pam: Oh, my shampoo. Yeah, it is Pantene, I got a free sample in with my junk mail.
Kramer: Well, there really is no junk-mail. Well, everybody wants to get a check or a birthday card, but...
Newman: It requires just as much man-power to deliver it as their precious little greeting cards.

Saturday, December 4, 2021

Quote from George in The Fix-Up

George: What kind of hair?
Jerry: You know, long dark hair.
George: Flowing?
Jerry: Flowing?
George: Is it flowing? I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick lustrous hair is very important to me. [scratches his balding head]
Jerry: "Thick lustrous hair is very important to me," is that what you said?
George: Yeah, that's right.
Jerry: Just clarifying.

Friday, December 3, 2021

Quote from Jackie Chiles in The Abstinence

Jackie Chiles: Did that cigarette warning label mention anything about damage to your appearance?
Kramer: No, it didn't say anything.
Jackie Chiles: So you're a victim. Now your face is sallow, unattractive, disgusting.
Kramer: So Jackie, do you think we gotta case?
Jackie Chiles: Your face is my case.

Upcoming Quotes

Friday, December 10, 2021

A quote from Jackie Chiles in the episode The Finale.

Saturday, December 11, 2021

A quote from Kramer in the episode The Opposite.

Sunday, December 12, 2021

A quote from Jerry in the episode The Stranded.

Monday, December 13, 2021

A quote from George in the episode The Andrea Doria.

Tuesday, December 14, 2021

A quote from George in the episode The Soul Mate.