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‘The Postponement’ Quotes

Seinfeld: The Postponement

702. The Postponement

Aired September 28, 1995

George gets cold feet and wants to postpone his wedding to Susan. Elaine resents the fact George is getting married before her.

Quote from George

George: I will never understand the bathrooms in this country. Why is it that the doors on the stalls do not come all the way down to the floor?
Susan Ross: Well, maybe it's so you can see if there's someone in there.
George: Isn't that why we have locks on the doors?
Susan Ross: Well, as a backup system, in case the lock is broken, you can see if it's taken.
George: A backup system? We're designing bathroom doors with our legs exposed in anticipation of the locks not working? [snorts] That's not a system. That's a complete breakdown of the system.

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Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Another caffe latte?
Kramer: Hey, you better believe it.
Jerry: Since when are you so trendy?
Jerry: Hey, baby. I set the trends. Who do you think started this whole caffe latte?
Jerry: I don't recall you drinking caffe lattes.
Kramer: I've been drinking caffe latte since the fifth grade and I haven't looked back.

Quote from George

Susan Ross: Can we change the subject, please?
George: Why? What's wrong with the subject? This is a bad subject?
Susan Ross: No, fine. If you wanna keep talking about it, we'll talk about it.
George: It's not that I want to keep talking about it? I just think that the subject should resolve itself based on its own momentum.
Susan Ross: Well, I didn't think that it had any momentum.
George: [inner monologue] How am I gonna do this? I'm engaged to this woman? She doesn't even like me. Change the subject? Toilets were the subject. We don't even share the same interests.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Sorry about that movie-thing. I was joking around.
Kramer: Sorry? Are you kidding? You did me the biggest favor of my life. I spoke to a lawyer, we're suing for millions.
Jerry: Suing? What for?
Kramer: The coffee was too hot.
Jerry: It's supposed to be hot.
Kramer: Not that hot.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Hey, Elaine, listen, I was talking to a friend about this dog business. Do you realize this is gonna be on our permanent records? Are you aware of this?
Elaine: Oh, dear.
Kramer: It can never be erased. It'll follow us wherever we go for the rest of our lives. I'll never be able to get a job. I mean, doesn't that concern you? Everything I've worked for, down the drain because of one stupid mistake. I mean, aren't we entitled to make one mistake in our lives, Jerry?
Jerry: We gotta change the system.
Kramer: Yes!
Elaine: Well, I could care less. I hope it is on our record. I'm just sorry they didn't lock me up.

Quote from George

George: I want your honest opinion about something.
Jerry: Have I ever been less than forthright?
George: No, you haven't. Well, maybe you have. What do I know.
Jerry: Yeah, I probably have. Yeah, of course I have. What am I talking about?
George: All right. Okay, tell me what you think about this idea. Extend the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium all the way to the floor.
Jerry: Extend the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium to the floor? Door comes down, hides your feet. Yes. I like it. I like it a lot.
George: It's good, right?
Jerry: I think it's fantastic. I think it's a fantastic idea.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Hey, Kramer if I killed somebody would you turn me in?
Kramer: Definitely.
Jerry: You're kidding?
Kramer: No, no, I would turn you in.
Jerry: You would turn me in?
Kramer: I wouldn't even think about it.
Jerry: I can't believe your a friend of mine.
Kramer: What kind of person are you going around killing people?
Jerry: Well, I am sure I had a good reason.
Kramer: Well, if you'll kill this person, who's to say I wouldn't be next?
Jerry: But you know me!
Kramer: I thought I did!

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Look at this, Jerry. Dropping paper on the ground. That's littering.
Jerry: Maybe you better call the cops and turn me in.
Kramer: Maybe I will.

Quote from George

George: Oh! Oh, I had an unbelievable idea today.
Susan Ross: Oh, yeah, the toilets. You told me.
George: Yeah, no, it's not the toilets. It's not the toilets. It's something else. Are you ready for this?
Susan Ross: Yeah.
George: Okay, how about this? All right, we get married March 21st, the first day of Spring.
Susan Ross: What do you mean? You want to postpone the wedding?
George: No, no, no. It's nothing to do with postponing. I just think the first day of Spring is the perfect day to get married. You know, Spring! Rejuvenation! Rebirth! Everything is blooming all the …

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Oh, hello, Rabbi Krischma.
Rabbi: [stilted] Elaine. Always a pleasure to see you.
Elaine: Thanks again for taking care of that dog for us.
Rabbi: Elaine, often times in life there are problems, and just as often there are solutions.
Elaine: Yeah, I suppose.
Rabbi: Elaine, you don't seem yourself today. You seem, if I may say, troubled.
Elaine: No, Rabbi, I'm not myself.
Rabbi: Come upstairs. We'll have a talk.

Quote from Jerry

George: Well, I told it to Susan before, and she didn't like it.
Jerry: Hmm.
George: Yeah. Not only that, this is what she said to me, "Can we change the subject?"
Jerry: See, now, that I don't care for.
George: Right. I mean, we're on a subject. Why does it have to be changed?
Jerry: It should resolve of its own volition.
George: That's exactly what I said, except I used the word "momentum".
Jerry: "Momentum", same thing.

Quote from George

George: My God, I'm getting married in December, do you know that?
Jerry: Yeah, I know.
George: Well, I don't see how I'm gonna make December. I mean, I need a little more time. I mean, look at me I'm a nervous wreck. My stomach aches. My neck is killing me. I can't turn. Look. Look.
Jerry: You're turning.
George: No, it's not a good turn. December. December.

Quote from George

George: Don't you think we should have a little more time just to get to know each other a little?
Jerry: If you need more time, you should have more time.
George: What, you think I could postpone it?
Jerry: Sure you can. Why not?
George: That's allowed? You're allowed to postpone it?
Jerry: I don't see why not.
George: So, I could do that?
Jerry: Sure, go ahead.
George: All right! All right.

Quote from George

George: I'll tell you what. How about this? Got the date: March 21st, the first day of spring.
Jerry: Spring. Of course.
George: Huh? You know? Spring. Rejuvenation. Rebirth. Everything's blooming. All that crap.
Jerry: Beautiful.
George: She's not gonna like it.
Jerry: No, she's not.
George: You know, I think I'm a little bit scared of her. She's five-three, like a hundred pounds. I'm frightened to death of her.
Jerry: Well, she's a woman. They don't like to be disappointed.
George: Especially her. She does not like disappointment. Well, I have to do it. I can't make December. There's no way I can make December. Right? I mean, you can see that, right? I mean, look at me. Look. Look. Can I make December? I can't make December. Right? Look. Look.
Jerry: Yeah, you'd better shoot for March.

Quote from George

George: March 21st. Hey! So, you're gonna back me on this, right?
Jerry: Oh, all the way.
George: You are a good friend. You know what? Even if you killed somebody I wouldn't turn you in. [exits]
Jerry: Is that so?

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: I really appreciate your taking time to talk with me, Rabbi. You know, I'm not of your faith. Infact, I'm not a very religious person. But I do feel as if I'm in need of some guidance here.
Rabbi: [stilted] Would you care for a snack of some kind? I have the SnackWells, which are very popular. Although, I think that sometimes with the so called fat free cookies people may overindulge forgetting they may be high in calories
Elaine: No, thank you. I am not very hungry. Anyway, um, this friend of mine, George, got engaged .
Rabbi: How wonderful.
Elaine: Yeah, yeah, well, for some reason, um, I just find myself just overcome with feelings of jealousy and resentment.
Rabbi: Doesn't it give you any joy to see your friend enter into this holiest of unions?
Elaine: No, no, no, it doesn't. No joy. No joy whatsoever. Just the whole think makes me sick.

Quote from Elaine

Rabbi: You know, Elaine, very often we cannot see the forest for the trees.
Elaine: Yeah, I don't know what that means.
Rabbi: Well, for example, say there's a forest, . . .
Elaine: Yeah, see the thing is, Rabbi. It should have been me. You know, I'm smart. I'm attractive.
Rabbi: You know my temple has many single functions.
Elaine: Oh, no, that's okay.
Rabbi: My nephew Alex is someone who is also looking perhaps...
Elaine: I don't think so.
Rabbi: He owns a flower store. Very successful.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Hey, Planet 9 From Outer Space is playing tomorrow night. One show only.
Kramer: I've always wanted to see this.
Jerry: You know I was supposed to see this five years ago. I was in a Chinese restaurant with George and Elaine and got all screwed up trying to get a table and I missed it.

Quote from George

Susan Ross: If you don't want to marry me, George, just say so. [crying] Just say so.
George: No, no. Still marry, still marry.
Susan Ross: You don't love me.
George: No, no. Still love. Still love.
Susan Ross: My friends told me that you were too neurotic and that I was making a mistake.
George: No, no. No mistake, no mistake. No, no, listen. We're going to get married over Christmas. I... It doesn't make any difference to me. It's fine. Really.
Susan Ross: You sure?
George: Yeah, yeah, sure, Christmas. Snow. Santa. All that stuff.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Let me take a guess. She cried and you caved.
George: How did you know that?
Jerry: I live and breathe my friend. I live and breathe.
George: I got to tell you, I felt terrible. I really thought she was going to collapse and kill herself.
Jerry: Yes, it's very difficult. Few men have the constitution for it. That's why breakups take two or three tries. You gotta build up your immunity.
George: You see those tears streaming down you don't know what to do. It was like she was on fire and I was trying to put her out.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Well, at least you probably had some, uh, pretty good make-up sex after.
George: I didn't have any sex.
Jerry: You didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex? I mean, that's the best feature of the heavy relationship.
George: I missed out on the make-up sex.
Jerry: In your situation, the only sex you're going to have better than make-up sex is if you're sent to prison and you have a conjugal visit.
George: Yeah, conjugal visit sex. That is happening.

Quote from George

Woman: [crying]
Man: I can tell you're very upset, but I'm sorry I'm not going.
George: [to Jerry] Did you hear that? I can't believe this. He's eating his sandwich.
Man: Are you going to eat those fries?
George: This is amazing. [George gets up to leave and shakes the man's hand] Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm going back in! [taps the woman on the shoulder] Feel better.
Jerry: Poor bastard.

Quote from Jerry

Rabbi: Well, it seems the engagement of her friend George has left her feeling bitter and hostile.
Jerry: Is that so?
Rabbi: Yes. In fact, she told me that she wishes she was the one getting married.
Jerry: Really?
Rabbi: She came off as pretty desperate.
Jerry: I didn't know any of this.
Rabbi: Apparently she doesn't think much of this George fellow either. I recall the word loser peppered throughout her conversation.
Jerry: Hum, well it all comes as news to me.

Quote from George

George: Could I talk to you for a minute?
Susan Ross: Yeah, sure.
George: You see this is the thing... [sobbing] I just feel like I can't do this in December. I just feel like I need a little more time because I feel like I'm not ready yet. I'm frightened and I'm scared. And I just feel like we need a little more time to get to know each other. But I could do it in March. I promise. I promise. No more postponements. I just need three more months, please.
Susan Ross: Oh, George. George. Of course, of course it can wait until March if that is what you want.
George: Yeah?
Susan Ross: Oh, don't worry your head. Of course.
George: All right. [smiles behind her back]

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: He told you about our conversation?
Jerry: Oh, we had quite a little chat.
Elaine: He told you about...
Jerry: Yes. About how you're very jealous of George. How you wished you were getting married instead of him.
Elaine: He told you all that? How could he?
Jerry: It didn't take much prodding either, I must say.
Elaine: Can he do that?
Jerry: He did it.
Elaine: But he's a rabbi! How can a rabbi have such a big mouth?
Jerry: That's what's so fascinating.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: You better finish your little caffe latte there. They'll never let you in with it.
Kramer: Why not?
Jerry: Because they don't allow outside drinks into the movie.
Kramer: Well, that's stupid.
Jerry: That's the rule.
Kramer: Well, we'll just see if we can't get around that.
[Kramer puts coffee cup into his pants]

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Listen, Rabbi, I'd like to ask you a question. Why? Why did you tell my friend Jerry what I talked to you about?
Rabbi: Was that a problem for you?
Elaine: Of course it was a problem for me. You didn't, you didn't tell anyone else about this, did you?
Rabbi: Well, let's see? I seem to recall a conversation with Mrs. Winston in 1F.
Elaine: Mrs. Winston?
Rabbi: Yes, we were waiting for our mail to arrive and I happened to mention to her how you felt that it was never going "to happen" for you.
Elaine: What about Don Ramsey? You didn't mention anything to him did you?
Rabbi: Don Ramsey?
Elaine: You know, that tall really good looking guy? He lives on the fifth floor.
Rabbi: Oh, him. Well, this morning, I happened to find myself in the elevator with him…
Elaine: My God, you didn't.

Quote from Kramer

Usher: Hey, hey, what's going on? What just happened here?
Kramer: Nothing Nothing.
Usher: What do you got? One of those caffe latte's in your shirt?
Kramer: I don't have anything. Ask him.
[Jerry makes a drink gesture]
Usher: All right. Come on, Coffee Boy, bring it out.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: I mean, the whole thing is a mess. He told everyone in the building. I ran into that cute guy on the fifth floor. I mean, he could barely bring himself to nod.
Jerry: Elaine, if I could say a word here about Jewish people. That man in no way represents our ability to take in a nice piece of juicy gossip and keep it to ourselves.
Elaine: You didn't say anything to George, did you?
Jerry: No. About how you wish it was you who was getting married instead of him? Feelings of resentment, hostility?
Elaine: Yeah, yeah. So what?

Quote from Elaine

George: [enters] Hey, oh.
Elaine: Georgie! Congratulations! Oh, my God. I haven't seen you since it happened. I couldn't be happier for you.
George: Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.
Elaine: Oh, come on. Come on. You really, really deserve it. [kisses George]
George: Oh, deserve! I don't know if I deserve...I mean...
Elaine: Are you kidding? I have seen the changes in you the past couple of years. Man, you have grown. You've matured.
George: Well, I guess I'm getting older.

Quote from George

Elaine: Oh! Well, I just think it's wonderful. Honestly! I've gotta run, but um, please, please give my best to Susan.
George: Yeah.
Elaine: My most, just heartfelt congratulations.
George: Yeah. Thanks. Hey, listen, if you ever get a date, maybe the four of us could go out together sometime.
Elaine: Yes. Yes, yes. Sure.
George: Wait, as a matter of fact, wasn't there some guy in your building that you said you liked? He lived up on the fifth floor or something.
Elaine: Yes. Yes, yes. Yes.
George: Yeah. [Elaine exits] Boy, she is something, isn't she?
Jerry: Yeah, she's something else.

Quote from George

Jerry: Hey, so what happened? Did you hold your ground or...
George: Nope, I wept like a baby.
Jerry: What?
George: Well, I started to tell her and then all of the sudden, for some reason, I just burst into tears.
Jerry: You cried?
George: I bawled uncontrollably. I just poured my guts out. And I'll tell you, Jerry, it was incredible. I never realized how powerful these tears are. I could have postponed it another five years if I wanted to.

Quote from Elaine

Rabbi: [On TV] The prophet Isaiah tells us that without friends our lives are empty and meaningless.
George: Wait. Whoa! That's the rabbi from Elaine's building. I just met this guy the other day.
Rabbi: A young lady I know, let's call her Elaine, happened to find herself overwhelmed with feelings of resentment and hostility for her friend, let's call him George. She felt that George was somewhat of a loser and that she was the one who deserved to be married first. She also happened to mention to me that her friend had wondered if going to a prostitute while you're engaged is considered cheating. His feeling was they're never going to see each other again so what's the difference. But that is a subject for another sermon. Now, I'd like to close with a psalm.


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