George: I will never understand the bathrooms in this country. Why is it that the doors on the stalls do not come all the way down to the floor?
Susan Ross: Well, maybe it's so you can see if there's someone in there.
George: Isn't that why we have locks on the doors?
Susan Ross: Well, as a backup system, in case the lock is broken, you can see if it's taken.
George: A backup system? We're designing bathroom doors with our legs exposed in anticipation of the locks not working? [snorts] That's not a system. That's a complete breakdown of the system.

Jerry: Another caffe latte?
Kramer: Hey, you better believe it.
Jerry: Since when are you so trendy?
Jerry: Hey, baby. I set the trends. Who do you think started this whole caffe latte?
Jerry: I don't recall you drinking caffe lattes.
Kramer: I've been drinking caffe latte since the fifth grade and I haven't looked back.

Susan Ross: Can we change the subject, please?
George: Why? What's wrong with the subject? This is a bad subject?
Susan Ross: No, fine. If you wanna keep talking about it, we'll talk about it.
George: It's not that I want to keep talking about it? I just think that the subject should resolve itself based on its own momentum.
Susan Ross: Well, I didn't think that it had any momentum.
George: [inner monologue] How am I gonna do this? I'm engaged to this woman? She doesn't even like me. Change the subject? Toilets were the subject. We don't even share the same interests.

Jerry: Sorry about that movie-thing. I was joking around.
Kramer: Sorry? Are you kidding? You did me the biggest favor of my life. I spoke to a lawyer, we're suing for millions.
Jerry: Suing? What for?
Kramer: The coffee was too hot.
Jerry: It's supposed to be hot.
Kramer: Not that hot.

Jerry: Hey, Kramer if I killed somebody would you turn me in?
Kramer: Definitely.
Jerry: You're kidding?
Kramer: No, no, I would turn you in.
Jerry: You would turn me in?
Kramer: I wouldn't even think about it.
Jerry: I can't believe your a friend of mine.
Kramer: What kind of person are you going around killing people?
Jerry: Well, I am sure I had a good reason.
Kramer: Well, if you'll kill this person, who's to say I wouldn't be next?
Jerry: But you know me!
Kramer: I thought I did!

Kramer: Hey, Elaine, listen, I was talking to a friend about this dog business. Do you realize this is gonna be on our permanent records? Are you aware of this?
Elaine: Oh, dear.
Kramer: It can never be erased. It'll follow us wherever we go for the rest of our lives. I'll never be able to get a job. I mean, doesn't that concern you? Everything I've worked for, down the drain because of one stupid mistake. I mean, aren't we entitled to make one mistake in our lives, Jerry?
Jerry: We gotta change the system.
Kramer: Yes!
Elaine: Well, I could care less. I hope it is on our record. I'm just sorry they didn't lock me up.

George: I want your honest opinion about something.
Jerry: Have I ever been less than forthright?
George: No, you haven't. Well, maybe you have. What do I know.
Jerry: Yeah, I probably have. Yeah, of course I have. What am I talking about?
George: All right. Okay, tell me what you think about this idea. Extend the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium all the way to the floor.
Jerry: Extend the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium to the floor? Door comes down, hides your feet. Yes. I like it. I like it a lot.
George: It's good, right?
Jerry: I think it's fantastic. I think it's a fantastic idea.

Jerry: Look at this, Jerry. Dropping paper on the ground. That's littering.
Jerry: Maybe you better call the cops and turn me in.
Kramer: Maybe I will.

George: Oh! Oh, I had an unbelievable idea today.
Susan Ross: Oh, yeah, the toilets. You told me.
George: Yeah, no, it's not the toilets. It's not the toilets. It's something else. Are you ready for this?
Susan Ross: Yeah.
George: Okay, how about this? All right, we get married March 21st, the first day of Spring.
Susan Ross: What do you mean? You want to postpone the wedding?
George: No, no, no. It's nothing to do with postponing. I just think the first day of Spring is the perfect day to get married. You know, Spring! Rejuvenation! Rebirth! Everything is blooming all the …

George: I'll tell you what. How about this? Got the date: March 21st, the first day of spring.
Jerry: Spring. Of course.
George: Huh? You know? Spring. Rejuvenation. Rebirth. Everything's blooming. All that crap.
Jerry: Beautiful.
George: She's not gonna like it.
Jerry: No, she's not.
George: You know, I think I'm a little bit scared of her. She's five-three, like a hundred pounds. I'm frightened to death of her.
Jerry: Well, she's a woman. They don't like to be disappointed.
George: Especially her. She does not like disappointment. Well, I have to do it. I can't make December. There's no way I can make December. Right? I mean, you can see that, right? I mean, look at me. Look. Look. Can I make December? I can't make December. Right? Look. Look.
Jerry: Yeah, you'd better shoot for March.