Elaine: [sobbing] Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I don't even know where I'm going.
J. Peterman: Well, that's the best way to get someplace you've never been.
Elaine: Yes, I suppose that's true.
J. Peterman: Have you been crying?
Elaine: Yes. [sobbing] You see, this woman, this manicurist…
J. Peterman: Oh, no. That doesn’t matter now. That's a very nice jacket.
Elaine: Uh, thanks.
J. Peterman: Very soft, huge button flaps, cargo pockets, draw string waist, deep bi-swing vents in the back perfect for jumping into a gondola.
Elaine: How do you know all that?
J. Peterman: That's my coat.
Elaine: You mean...?
J. Peterman: Yes, I'm J. Peterman.
Elaine: Oh!

J. Peterman: Then, in the distance, I heard the bulls, and I began running as fast as I could. Fortunately, I was wearing my Italian capto oxfords. Sophisticated yet different, without making a huge fuss about. Rich dark brown calfskin leather. Matching linen vamp. Men's whole and half sizes 7 through 13, price $135.
Elaine: Oh, that's not too expensive.
J. Peterman: I like that shirt. Where did you get it?
Elaine: Oh, this innocent looking shirt has something which isn't innocent at all. Touchability. Heavy, silky Italian cotton, with a fine almost terrycloth-like feeling. Five-button placket, relaxed fit, innocence and mayhem at once.
J. Peterman: That's not bad!

Kim: So many years, Frank. So many years. If only you had taken your shoes off.
Frank Costanza: I couldn't because I had a potential foot problem.
Kim: I thought maybe you had a hole in your socks.
Frank Costanza: I wiped them for two minutes on the mat. I don't know why your father had to make a federal case out of it.
Kim: Anyway, that is all in the past. We have our whole future ahead of us.
Frank Costanza: Between you and me, I think your country is placing a lot of importance on shoe removal. [brakes screech]
Kim: You short stop me? We don't do that in Korea! Take me home. I never want to see you again.

Kramer: Who's Gennice?
Jerry: That's the understudy. I'm dating her.
Kramer: Oh, uh, is this uh, Bette Midler's understudy?
Jerry: Yeah.
Kramer: Oh, understudies are a very shifty bunch. The substitute teachers of the theater world.

Frank Costanza: I had an affair with a Korean woman.
Elaine: Uh, Mr. Costanza, I …
Frank Costanza: No, I feel I need to unburden myself. I loved her very deeply. But the clash of cultures was too much. Her family would not accept me.
Elaine: Mr. Costanza, I'm...
Frank Costanza: Maybe it was because I refused to take off my shoes. Again, the foot odor problem. Her father would look at me and say... [speaks Korean]. Which means, "this guy - this is not my kind of guy".

Kramer: [holding Bette Midler] Don't worry I'm with you. Now, Kramer is going to take care of everything. See, I got you pineapple. And I saw Beaches last night for the fourth time. [sighs] "You are the wind beneath my wings"

Jerry: She calls me this morning and tells me she's upset I didn't console her. I mean it was Beaches for god's sake. I mean, what, what do you do in a situation like that?
George: Where were you?
Jerry: I was sitting on the chair. She was over here on the couch.
George: Well, you know, if you were sitting right next to her you'd have to console her no matter what.
Jerry: Of course.
George: When you're talking about a movie like Beaches, moving from the chair to the couch... that's quite a voyage.

Kramer: Where you going?
Jerry: Show League game. The Improv is playing "Rochelle Rochelle" The musical.
Kramer: Really? What is Bette Midler playing? Is she going to be there?
Jerry: She might be. She's the star of the show.
Kramer: Bette Midler is going to be in the park today? [squeals] Jerry, don't tease me.
George: I didn't know you were such a Bette Midler fan.
Kramer: So maybe I'll go down there and watch, uh? She'll be there, maybe, huh?

Jerry: I'm glad she's an understudy. I don't have to avoid going back stage and having to think of something to say.
George: Going backstage is the worst. Especially when they stink. You know, then it's a real problem.
Jerry: Just once I would like to tell someone they stink. "You know what? I didn't like the show. I didn't like you. It just really stunk. The whole thing, real bad. Stinkaroo. Thanks for the tickets though."

Kramer: Look, there she is. It's Bette. It's Bette! [squeals] Uh, Bette?
Bette Midler: Hi.
Kramer: Uh, I just want to say I think you're wonderful.
Bette Midler: Uh, thank you.
Kramer: Yeah. You know, I've seen you in everything you've done.
Bette Midler: Really?
Kramer: Is there anything I can get you? Water? They got Italian ice over here.
Bette Midler: What flavors do they have?
Kramer: Uh, well, they got chocolate, lemon, and uh, cherry.
Bette Midler: How about Pineapple?
Kramer: Pineapple, sure. All right, I'll be right back.