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‘The Rye’ Quotes

Seinfeld: The Rye

711. The Rye

Aired January 4, 1996

When George's parents meet Susan's parents for the first time, they take a rye bread to dinner. Meanwhile, Elaine dates a musician who doesn't "do everything" in the bedroom, and Kramer drives a hansom cab around Central Park for the week.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: Let me understand. You got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
George: Why don't we talk about it another time?
Frank Costanza: But you see my point here. You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!
Mrs. Ross: Something's missing all right.
Mr. Ross: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
Frank Costanza: That's perverse.

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Quote from Kramer

Jerry: What are you, outta your mind? Look at this. What did you buy here? You will never be able to finish all this stuff.
Kramer: Of course I will. These are all staples.
Jerry: A four-pound can of black olives? That's a staple?
Kramer: Lindsay olives, Jerry.
Jerry: A forty-eight pack of Eggo waffles. A gallon of barbecue sauce. Ten pounds of cocktail meatballs.
Kramer: $17.50. You can't beat that.
Jerry: Look...look at this can of tuna!
Kramer: Yeah. Star Kist, Jerry. Most tuna don't make their cut.
Jerry: This isn't for a person. This is for Biosphere 3.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: What is this thing anyway?
Mrs. Ross: It's Cornish game hen.
Frank Costanza: What is that, like a little chicken?
George: It's, uh, it's not a little chicken. [laughing] Little chicken. It's a game bird.
Frank Costanza: Game bird?
George: Yeah.
Frank Costanza: What do you mean? Like, you - you hunt it?
Mr. Ross: Yes.
Frank Costanza: How hard could it be to kill this thing?

Quote from Frank Costanza

George: Thank God that's over.
Estelle Costanza: The mother seems to hit the sauce pretty hard. I didn't like that.
Frank Costanza: And who doesn't serve cake after a meal? What kind of people? Would it kill them to put out a pound cake? Something.
George: So, they didn't give you a piece of cake? Big deal.
Estelle Costanza: It is a big deal. You're supposed to serve cake after a meal. I'm sorry, it's impolite.
Frank Costanza: It's not impolite. It's stupid, that's what it is. You gotta be stupid to do something like that!
Estelle Costanza: Your father's absolutely right. We're sitting there like idiots drinking coffee without a piece of cake!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ross. One never knows how the gastrointestinal workings of the equine are going to function.
Mrs. Ross: Thanks for nothing! Come on, George. Let's go upstairs.
George: What the hell happened?
Kramer: The horse is gassy. Must have been the Beef-a-Reeno.
George: Beef-a-Reeno? You fed the horse Beef-a-Reeno?!
Kramer: Well, I overbought!

Quote from Estelle Costanza

Frank Costanza: So, what do you think? Your old man can look pretty good when he wants to, huh?
Estelle Costanza: I don't like that tie.
Frank Costanza: What's the matter with this tie? I've hardly worn it.
Estelle Costanza: It's too thin. They're wearing wide now.
Frank Costanza: How do you know what kind of ties they wear?
Estelle Costanza: Go to any office building on 7th Avenue and tell me if there's anyone there wearing a thin tie like that. Go ahead!
Frank Costanza: Oh, get the hell out of here. 7th Avenue.

Quote from Estelle Costanza

Estelle Costanza: I couldn't help but notice that you have quite a library in there.
Mrs. Ross: If I had a dime for every book he's actually read, [laughing] I'd be broke.
Susan Ross: More wine anyone?
Frank Costanza: Yeah. I'll take some.
Susan Ross: Hmm?
Frank Costanza: Thank you.
Susan Ross: How do you like the Merlot?
Estelle Costanza: Merlot? I never heard of it. Did they just invent it?
Mrs. Ross: Oh, mother.
George: She's, uh, she's heard of Merlot.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Hey, Jerry! Listen, I need you to come downstairs, help me get my stuff outta the car.
Jerry: What stuff?
Kramer: I just came from the price club. I'm loaded up, baby.
Jerry: All right.

Quote from Estelle Costanza

Estelle Costanza: Georgie, can you zip me up?
George: Yeah. Yeah, one second.
Estelle Costanza: Well, come on!
George: All right. All right. Let's not get into panic mode! Let's not make a big deal out ofa this thing or we're never gonna get through this night.
Estelle Costanza: Well, I'm meeting your in-laws, I think I should look nice.
George: My in-laws. Oh, my God.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: We gotta stop off and pick up a marble rye from Schnitzer's.
Estelle Costanza: It's out of our way. Why can't we pick up something at Lord's? It's right over here.
Frank Costanza: No! We have to go to Schnitzer's. I'll show these people something about taste! Hmm.

Quote from Frank Costanza

George: Did anybody see Firestorm?
Mr. Ross: Firestorm, that's a hell of a picture.
George: Yeah.
Mr. Ross: Remember when they had the helicopter land on top of that car --
Frank Costanza: Hey! Hey! Come on! Come on! I haven't seen it yet.
Mr. Ross: It doesn't have anything to do with the plot!
Frank Costanza: Still! Still! I like to go in fresh!
George: Oh, mother of God.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Of course, uh, this is Central Park. This was designed in 1850 by Joe Peppitone. Built during the Civil War so the northern armies could practice fighting on... on grass. Oh, yeah. Giddyup. On Rusty!

Quote from Frank Costanza

George: You stole the bread?
Frank Costanza: What do you mean stole? It's my bread. They didn't eat it. Why should I leave it there?
George: Because we brought it for them!
Frank Costanza: Apparently, it wasn't good enough for them to serve.


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