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‘The Rye’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Seinfeld: The Rye

711. The Rye

Aired January 4, 1996

When George's parents meet Susan's parents for the first time, they take a rye bread to dinner. Meanwhile, Elaine dates a musician who doesn't "do everything" in the bedroom, and Kramer drives a hansom cab around Central Park for the week.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: Let me understand. You got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
George: Why don't we talk about it another time?
Frank Costanza: But you see my point here. You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!
Mrs. Ross: Something's missing all right.
Mr. Ross: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
Frank Costanza: That's perverse.

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Quote from Kramer

Jerry: What are you, outta your mind? Look at this. What did you buy here? You will never be able to finish all this stuff.
Kramer: Of course I will. These are all staples.
Jerry: A four-pound can of black olives? That's a staple?
Kramer: Lindsay olives, Jerry.
Jerry: A forty-eight pack of Eggo waffles. A gallon of barbecue sauce. Ten pounds of cocktail meatballs.
Kramer: $17.50. You can't beat that.
Jerry: Look...look at this can of tuna!
Kramer: Yeah. Star Kist, Jerry. Most tuna don't make their cut.
Jerry: This isn't for a person. This is for Biosphere 3.

Quote from Frank Costanza

Frank Costanza: What is this thing anyway?
Mrs. Ross: It's Cornish game hen.
Frank Costanza: What is that, like a little chicken?
George: It's, uh, it's not a little chicken. [laughing] Little chicken. It's a game bird.
Frank Costanza: Game bird?
George: Yeah.
Frank Costanza: What do you mean? Like, you - you hunt it?
Mr. Ross: Yes.
Frank Costanza: How hard could it be to kill this thing?

Quote from Frank Costanza

George: Thank God that's over.
Estelle Costanza: The mother seems to hit the sauce pretty hard. I didn't like that.
Frank Costanza: And who doesn't serve cake after a meal? What kind of people? Would it kill them to put out a pound cake? Something.
George: So, they didn't give you a piece of cake? Big deal.
Estelle Costanza: It is a big deal. You're supposed to serve cake after a meal. I'm sorry, it's impolite.
Frank Costanza: It's not impolite. It's stupid, that's what it is. You gotta be stupid to do something like that!
Estelle Costanza: Your father's absolutely right. We're sitting there like idiots drinking coffee without a piece of cake!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ross. One never knows how the gastrointestinal workings of the equine are going to function.
Mrs. Ross: Thanks for nothing! Come on, George. Let's go upstairs.
George: What the hell happened?
Kramer: The horse is gassy. Must have been the Beef-a-Reeno.
George: Beef-a-Reeno? You fed the horse Beef-a-Reeno?!
Kramer: Well, I overbought!

Quote from Estelle Costanza

Frank Costanza: So, what do you think? Your old man can look pretty good when he wants to, huh?
Estelle Costanza: I don't like that tie.
Frank Costanza: What's the matter with this tie? I've hardly worn it.
Estelle Costanza: It's too thin. They're wearing wide now.
Frank Costanza: How do you know what kind of ties they wear?
Estelle Costanza: Go to any office building on 7th Avenue and tell me if there's anyone there wearing a thin tie like that. Go ahead!
Frank Costanza: Oh, get the hell out of here. 7th Avenue.

Quote from Estelle Costanza

Estelle Costanza: I couldn't help but notice that you have quite a library in there.
Mrs. Ross: If I had a dime for every book he's actually read, [laughing] I'd be broke.
Susan Ross: More wine anyone?
Frank Costanza: Yeah. I'll take some.
Susan Ross: Hmm?
Frank Costanza: Thank you.
Susan Ross: How do you like the Merlot?
Estelle Costanza: Merlot? I never heard of it. Did they just invent it?
Mrs. Ross: Oh, mother.
George: She's, uh, she's heard of Merlot.

Quote from Frank Costanza

George: Did anybody see Firestorm?
Mr. Ross: Firestorm, that's a hell of a picture.
George: Yeah.
Mr. Ross: Remember when they had the helicopter land on top of that car --
Frank Costanza: Hey! Hey! Come on! Come on! I haven't seen it yet.
Mr. Ross: It doesn't have anything to do with the plot!
Frank Costanza: Still! Still! I like to go in fresh!
George: Oh, mother of God.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Hey, Jerry! Listen, I need you to come downstairs, help me get my stuff outta the car.
Jerry: What stuff?
Kramer: I just came from the price club. I'm loaded up, baby.
Jerry: All right.

Quote from Estelle Costanza

Estelle Costanza: Georgie, can you zip me up?
George: Yeah. Yeah, one second.
Estelle Costanza: Well, come on!
George: All right. All right. Let's not get into panic mode! Let's not make a big deal out ofa this thing or we're never gonna get through this night.
Estelle Costanza: Well, I'm meeting your in-laws, I think I should look nice.
George: My in-laws. Oh, my God.

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