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‘The Soup Nazi’ Quotes

Seinfeld: The Soup Nazi

706. The Soup Nazi

Aired November 2, 1995

The gang visit a soup stand run by a demanding, no-nonsense chef. George is irritated by how affectionate Jerry is with his new girlfriend. Elaine buys an armoire from a guy on the street.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: There's only one caveat. The guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He's secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.
Elaine: Why? What happens if you don't order right?
Jerry: He yells and you don't get your soup.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: Just follow the ordering procedure and you will be fine.
George: All right. All right. Let's- Let's go over that again.
Jerry: All right. As you walk in the place move immediately to your right.

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Quote from Newman

Newman: [panting] Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry: What is it?
Newman: Something happened with the Soup Nazi!
Jerry: Wha- What's the matter?
Newman: Elaine's down there causing all kinds of commotion. Somehow she got a hold of his recipes and she says she's gonna drive him out of business! The Soup Nazi said that now that his recipes are out, he's not gonna make anymore soup! He's moving out of the country, moving to Argentina! No more soup, Jerry! No more soup for any of us!
Jerry: Well, where are you going?
Newman: He's giving away what's left! I got to go home and get a big pot!

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: The main thing is to keep the line moving.
George: All right. So, you hold out your money, speak your soup in a loud, clear voice, step to the left and receive.
Jerry: Right. It's very important not to embellish on your order. No extraneous comments. No questions. No compliments.
Elaine: Oh, boy, I'm really scared!
Jerry: Elaine.
Elaine: All right. Jerry, that's enough now about the Soup Nazi.

Quote from George

[George cautiously steps towards the counter and places his money down. After a brief pause, he tentatively gives his order.]
George: Medium turkey chili. [steps to the left]
Jerry: Medium crab bisque. [steps to the left]
George: [to Jerry] I didn't get any bread.
Jerry: Just forget it. Let it go.
George: Um, excuse me, I- I think you forgot my bread.
Soup Nazi: Bread, $2 extra.
George: $2? But everyone in front of me got free bread.
Soup Nazi: You want bread?
George: Yes, please.
Soup Nazi: $3!
George: What?
Soup Nazi: No soup for you! [snaps fingers]
[The cashier takes George's soup away and returns his money]

Quote from George

George: Good afternoon. One large crab bisque to go. [steps to the left] Bread. Beautiful. [smiles]
Soup Nazi: You're pushing your luck little man.
George: Sorry. Thank you.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: [steps forward] Hi, there. Um, uh... [drums on the counter] Oh! Oh! Oh! One mulligatawny and, um.... What is that right there? Is that lima bean?
Soup Nazi: Yes.
Elaine: Never been a big fan. [coughing] Um, you know what? Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent Of A Woman. Who-ah! Who-ah! [laughs]
Soup Nazi: Very good. Very good.
Elaine: Well, I --
Soup Nazi: You know something?
Elaine: Hmm?
Soup Nazi: No soup for you!
Elaine: What?
Soup Nazi: Come back one year! Next!

Quote from Kramer

Soup Nazi: All right, now listen to me. You have been a good friend. I have an armoire in my basement. If you want to pick it up, you're welcome to it. So, take it, it's yours.
Kramer: How can I possibly thank you?
Soup Nazi: You are the only one who understands me.
Kramer: You suffer for your soup.
Soup Nazi: Yes. That is right.
Kramer: You demand perfection from yourself, from your soup.
Soup Nazi: How can I tolerate any less from my customer?

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Hi. You know, Kramer gave me the armoire and it is so beautiful. I mean, I just can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
Soup Nazi: You? If I knew it was for you, I never would have given it to him in the first place! I would have taken a hatchet and smashed it to pieces! Now, who wants soup? Next! Speak up!

Quote from Elaine

Soup Nazi: Go on! Leave! Get out!
Woman: But I didn't do anything.
Soup Nazi: Next!
Elaine: Hello. [waves]
Soup Nazi: You. You think you can get soup? Please, you're wasting everyone's time.
Elaine: I don't want soup. I can make my own soup. "5 cups chopped porcini mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, three pounds celery."
Soup Nazi: That is my recipe for wild mushroom.
Elaine: Yeah, that's right. I got 'em all. Cold cucumber, corn and crab chowder, mulligatawny.
Soup Nazi: Mulligatawny?
Elaine: You're through Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Yes, I'm a very lazy eater. That's why I like soup. First of all, it looks half-digested when they put it down in front of you, so you feel like half the work is done already. I'm hoping Campbell's comes out with, like, an IV line of soup that you could just jam right into your arm, you know? Campbell's tomato intravenous. Mainline gumbo. Everyone just sitting around at dinner with their soup IV just hanging on the hook, there? "How's yours, Grandpa?" "Oh, chunky style."

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: What are you gonna get?
Sheila: I'll decide at the last minute.
Jerry: You better decide, sister. You're on deck. Sheila!
Soup Nazi: [pounds on counter] Hey! What is this?
Jerry: Uh-oh.
Soup Nazi: You're kissing in my line? Nobody kisses in my line!
Sheila: I can kiss anywhere I want to.
Soup Nazi: You just cost yourself a soup!
Sheila: How dare you? Come on, Jerry, we're leaving. [exits; returns] Jerry?
Jerry: Do I know you?

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: So, essentially, you chose soup over a woman?
Jerry: It was a bisque.
Elaine: Yeah. You know what I just realized? Suddenly, George has become much more normal than you.
Jerry: Really?
Elaine: Yeah. Come on. I mean, think about it. He's engaged to be married. Your top priority is soup.
Jerry: Have you tasted the soup?
Elaine: Yeah. All right. You made the right decision.
Jerry: See, the way I figure it, it's much easier to patch things up with Sheila than with the Soup Nazi.

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: Hey, have you noticed George is acting a little strange lately?
Elaine: No. In what way?
Jerry: I don't know. A lot of attitude, like he's better than me, or something.
Elaine: I don't think George has ever thought he's better than anybody.

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: Okay. We ready to go?
George: Yes. Please. Please, let's go.
Elaine: Boy, I'm in the mood for a cheeseburger.
Jerry: No. We gotta go to the soup place.
Elaine: What soup place?
George: Oh, there's a soup stand, Kramer's been going there.
Jerry: He's always raving. I finally got a chance to go there the other day, and I tell you this, you will be stunned.
Elaine: Stunned by soup?
Jerry: You can't eat this soup standing up. Your knees buckle.

Quote from Jerry

Bania: Hey, Jerry! I didn't know you liked soup.
Jerry: Hard to believe.
Bania: This guy makes the best soup in the city, Jerry. The best. You know what they call him? Soup Nazi.
Jerry: Shh! All right, Bania, I'm not letting you cut in line.
Bania: Why not?
Jerry: Because if he catches us, we'll never be able to get soup again.
Bania: Okay. Okay.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Oh, man. Oh, this is fantastic. How does he do it?
George: You know, I don't see how you can sit there eating that and not even offer me any?
Jerry: I gave you a taste. What do you want?
George: Why can't we share?
Jerry: I told you not to say anything. You can't go in there, brazenly flaunt the rules and then think I'm gonna share with you!
George: Do you hear yourself?
Jerry: I'm sorry. This is what comes from living under a Nazi regime.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Ahoy there!
Elaine: Oh, Kramer! Thank God. I really appreciate you doing this.
Kramer: Yeah. Well, you ask for it, you got it.
Elaine: Do you need anything?
Kramer: Well, a bowl of muligatawny would hit the spot.
Elaine: Mulligatawny?
Kramer: Yeah. It's an Indian soup. It's simmered to perfection by one of the great soup artisans in the modern era.
Elaine: Oh! Who? The Soup Nazi?
Kramer: He's not a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. Most geniuses are.

Quote from George

George: Happy? Why should I be happy?
Jerry: I don't know, but you look like you're happy.
George: Why should I care?
Jerry: You can't fool me. Don't insult me, George, because I know when you're happy.
George: All right. I am happy, and I'll tell you why. Because the two of you were making me and every one of your friends sick! Right, Elaine? [Elaine sneaks out of Jerry's apartment]
Jerry: Is that so?
George: Yeah. Yeah. With all that kissing and the Schmoopie, Schmoopie, Schmoopie, Schmoopie, Schmoopie out in public like that. It's disgusting!
Jerry: Disgusting?
George: People who do that should be arrested.

Quote from Kramer

Man: Uh, gazpacho, por favor.
Soup Nazi: Por favor?
Man: Oh, I'm part Spanish.
Soup Nazi: Adios muchacho!
Kramer: [to the customer] Get.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: I mean, you know, I've never been so insulted in my entire life. There's something really wrong with this man. He is a Soup Nazi. What? What is that?
Jerry: I don't know. "5 cups chopped poricini mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, 3 pounds of celery, chopped parsley..."
Elaine: Let me see this. [gasps] You know what this is? This is a recipe for soup, and look at this. There are like thirty different recipes. These are his recipes!
Jerry: So?
Elaine: So? So, his secret's out. Don't you see? I could give these to every restaurant in town. I could have 'em published! I could- I could drop fliers from a plane above the city.
Jerry: Wait a second, Elaine. Where do you think you're going?
Elaine: What do you care?
Jerry: Elaine, I don't want you causing any trouble down at that soup stand. I happen to love that soup.
Elaine: Get out of my way, Jerry.
Jerry: Elaine, let the man make his soup!
Elaine: Don't make me hurt you, Jerry.


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