Kramer: Look at this, Mickey. These pants are falling apart.
Jerry: You know, when I met you, Kramer, you used to wear jeans all the time.
Kramer: Yeah, well, I was a different man then.
Jerry: With a different body.
Kramer: Hey, I got the body of a taut, preteen Swedish boy.
Jerry: I don't know.
Kramer: Now, what are you thinking? You think that I'm not able to wear jeans anymore? Is that what you're saying? Because if that's what you're saying, Jerry, I'll go and I'll buy some jeans. I swear to God, I will. Don't think I won't, Jerry. [Jerry nods silently] All right. That's it.

Jerry: But we gotta make it seem like we're not calling for dates.
Elaine: Then why are we calling?
Jerry: Good question. Why are we calling?
Elaine: Why are we calling?
Jerry: Calling, calling, calling.
Elaine: Why are we calling? Why do we call? I got it. I've got it. We're calling just to say; "I'm there for you."
Jerry: I'm there for you.
Elaine: Then, after a period of being there for you, we slowly remove the two words "for you"... and we're just there.

[stand-up:]
Jerry: The whole concept of being separated, to me, is strange. It's like you're engaged to be divorced. "We're gonna try and make not being together work. First we were separated, then we met, then we were together. Now we're gonna try being separated again. We think actually some sort of giant rubber band might be the solution." Of course, when you were a kid in school, you'd get separated for having too good a time. "If you two kids don't stop laughing and having fun, I'm gonna have to separate you." Then the kid finds out his parents are breaking up, thinks it's because they got caught fooling around, which is probably true.

Elaine: Hey, my God, look at that. It's David and Beth Lukner. You know, I heard a rumor their marriage is a little rocky.
Jerry: Really? You know, I have a little thing for Beth Lukner.
Elaine: Well.... I have to admit I've always thought David was kind of sponge-worthy.
Jerry: Yeah, I've been waiting out their marriage for three years.
Elaine: Me too. Well, I've been waiting out two or three marriages... but this is the one I really had my eye on.

Elaine: So now, what is our move? What do we do?
Jerry: I don't know, but we don't have much time. The city's probably teeming with people waiting out that marriage.
Elaine: Right.
Jerry: It's like when a tenant dies in a rent-controlled building. You gotta take immediate action.

Jerry: What did you get?
Kramer: Yeah, I bought dungarees.
Elaine: Kramer, they're painted on.
Kramer: Well, they're the slim fit.
Jerry: Slim fit?
Kramer: Yeah, they're streamlined.
Jerry: You're walking like Frankenstein.
Kramer: Come on, they just gotta be worked in a little bit, that's all. See you.

Jerry: [on the phone] George, what the hell are you doing over there? I told you to mind your own business. Now, stay out of my affairs!
George: Oh, Jerry, Jerry, that is so sweet of you, but actually, I already ate.
Jerry: Ate? [chuckles] What the hell are you talking about? Now, you listen to me. Get out of that apartment this instance. If you screw this up for me, I swear...
George: Chocolate chip mint? Actually, Jerry, I prefer chocolate chip. What is it about the chocolate and the mint that makes it go so well together?
Jerry: What are you talking about?
George: Oh, of course you can use it. Sure. Okay. Bye-bye.
Jerry: Don't hang up on me, George, I...

Jerry: Trouble.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: George.
Elaine: Is it?
Jerry: Yeah.
Elaine: Damn.
Jerry: What do we do?
Elaine: What do we do? You get your ass over to Beth's tout de suite. And turn on some of that so-called charm you're always tell me about.
Jerry: Yeah, I can try and do that.
Elaine: You don't try, you do it. I got the loser in this relationship. I'm breathing new life into him. You give me three more days, he won't remember her name. You got the winner. You got the easy part.

George: Listen, David, I want to apologize about that comment...
David: George, please, please. I'm fine.
George: Oh, yeah, this is my fiancee. Susan, this is David.
Susan Ross: David.
David: Oh, fiancee? Boy, you could've done a lot better than him. Come on, Elaine, let's go. [both exit]
[Susan has a contemplative look]

George: You ready?
Susan Ross: You know what, George, why don't you go ahead? I think I'd like to be alone for a while.
George: Oh, sure. Sure, you want to be alone? Sure, I understand that. You want a little time to think? Think. Ponder things. You know, ruminate. You go ahead. A lot of stuff on your mind. You think things out. Think. Mull, just mull. Do a lot of mulling.