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‘The Pool Guy’ Quotes

Seinfeld: The Pool Guy

708. The Pool Guy

Aired November 16, 1995

George fears worlds are colliding when Elaine starts hanging out with Susan. Jerry offends the pool guy. Meanwhile, Kramer changes his number and starts getting calls for movie listings.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: [answers phone] Hello, and welcome to Moviefone. Brought to you by The New York Times and Hot 97. Coming to theaters this Friday: Kevin Bacon, Susan Sarandon, "You've got to get me over that mountain!" "No!" [bang, bang] "Argh" There is no place higher than ... Mountain High. Rated R. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press 1.
Elaine: Kramer, is that you?
Kramer: Elaine?
Elaine: Uh, what time does Chow Fun start?
Kramer: I don't know.

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Quote from George

George: You have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him, ceases to exist! You see, right now, I have relationship George, but there is also independent George. That's the George you know, the George you grew up with. Movie George, coffee shop George, liar George, bawdy George.
Jerry: I love that George.
George: Me too! And he's dying, Jerry! If relationship George walks through this door, he will kill independent George! A George divided against itself cannot stand!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: [answers phone] Hello, and welcome to Moviefone. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press one.
George: Come on. Come on.
Kramer: Using your touch-tone keypad, please enter the first three letters of the movie title, now.
[George presses 3 keys]
Kramer: You've selected... Agent Zero? If that's correct, press one.
George: What?
Kramer: Ah, you've selected ... Brown-Eyed Girl? If this is correct, press one. [George is confused] Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you've selected.
George: Chunnel?
Kramer: To find the theater nearest you, please enter your five digit zip-code, now. [George enters his zip-code] Why don't you just tell me where you want to see the movie?
George: Lowes Paragon, 84th and Broadway.
Kramer: [picks up paper] Chunnel is playing at the Paragon 84th Street cinema in the main theater at 9:30 PM.
George: Yeah, now I gotcha! [hangs up, runs out]
Kramer: It's also playing in theater number two at 9:00.

Quote from Susan Ross

Elaine: I thought that was pretty good, huh?
Jerry: What'd you think Susan?
Susan Ross: Oh, I don't know. I couldn't hear anything. You talked the whole movie.
Elaine: Oh, well come on. You want to go grab a bite to eat?
Jerry: Yeah.
Susan Ross: Ah, no. I don't think so.
Elaine: Why not?
Susan Ross: Well, you know, all you guys ever do is sit around the coffee shop talking, sit around Jerry's apartment talking. Frankly, I don't know how you can stand it. See you.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: [picks up the phone] "555-3455." Well, wait a second. Don't you see, that's 555-FILK.
Kramer: What's "filk"?
Jerry: Filk's nothing, but 555-FILM is Moviefone.
Kramer: Oh, Moviefone.
Jerry: Yes, so people are just dialing it by mistake and getting you.
Kramer: So, I'm filk?
Jerry: You're filk.
Kramer: Oh, Mama.

Quote from George

Susan Ross: Anyway, I thought we'd all go to a movie on Friday.
George: We'd all go to movie on Friday?
Susan Ross: Yeah.
George: This is not good. Worlds are colliding! George is getting upset!

Quote from George

Jerry: Who do you think would win in a fight between me and gorgeous George here?
Elaine: You mean in a real "fight" fight?
Jerry: Mano a Baldo.
Elaine: George.
George: Ah-ha!
Jerry: Why?
Elaine: George fights dirty.
Jerry: Really? What would you do?
George: Pull hair, poke eyes, groin stuff. Whatever I gotta do.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: That's gonna be trouble.
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Jerry, don't you see? This world here, this is George's sanctuary. If Susan comes into contact with this world, his worlds collide. You know what happens then? [mimics explosion]

Quote from George

George: What'd you do that for?
Jerry: She was looking for someone to go to the show with.
George: Well, that was a really stupid thing! You know what's going to happen now?
Jerry: World's collide.
George: Well, yeah!
Jerry: Because this world is your sanctuary and if that world comes into contact with-
George: Yes, it blows up! So if you know that, what did you tell Elaine for?
Jerry: I didn't know. Kramer told me about the worlds.
George: You couldn't figure out the worlds theory for yourself? It's just common sense. Anybody knows, you gotta keep your worlds apart.
Jerry: Yeah, I guess I slipped up.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Ooh, here we go. [answers cordless phone] Yeah, hello. Yeah, no, no, no, hold on. [opens a newspaper] Yeah, Cupid's Rifle, 8:30, Sony Lincoln Square. Yeah, no, no, no, no problem, yeah. [hangs up]
Jerry: You're looking up movies for people now?
Kramer: I got time.
Kramer: And this. [answers phone] Cosmo here. Yeah, un-huh, no, no, no, no, I'll help. Yeah, Firestorm's
good. I saw it yesterday. Yeah well my buddy Jerry, he's seen it twice. You want to talk to him? Here...
Jerry: No, Kramer. I don't want to talk to him.
Kramer: Just- Just tell him about the picture. What's the matter with you? Stop it. [on the phone] Yes, are you still there? Look I'm sorry about that. All right, there's an 8:30 and a 10:15 showing.

Quote from George

[George is dragged out of the movie theater by two ushers:]
George: I know they're in there, the three of them, laughing at me. Together, laughing and lying.
User: Let's go pal.
George: They're- They're killing independent George! And they're, they're all in on it! World's are colliding!

Quote from Kramer

Moviefone guy: [knocks] Hello, and welcome to your worst nightmare. I know you're in there, Cosmo Kramer, apartment 5B. You're in big trouble now. You've been sealing my business. If you'd like to do this the easy way, open the door, now. Or, please select the number of seconds, you'd like to wait, before I break this door down. Please select now.


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