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‘The Blood’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Seinfeld: The Blood

904. The Blood

Aired October 16, 1997

Kramer takes his blood back from the bank. Jerry tries to get in shape. George wants to introduce food into the bedroom. Meanwhile, Elaine ends up baby-sitting her friend's kid.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: My service rates went up? You banks are all the same with your hidden fees and your service charges. Well, maybe I'll just take my blood elsewhere, yeah.
Employee: Well, we can transfer to another bank for you.
Kramer: Oh, no, no, no. No more banks. I'm keeping my blood in my freezer with my money!


Quote from Jerry

George: Three pints of Kramer's blood?
Jerry: I can feel his blood inside of me. Borrowing things from my blood.
George: Well, so much for purification week.

Quote from George

Jerry: So, how's the fornicating gourmet?
George: Doing quite well, thank you. Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a quickie. You know what? If I could add TV to the equation, that would really be the ultimate.
Jerry: George, we're trying to have a civilization here.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Did you give blood?
Kramer: No, not giving. hoarding. I'm storing it at the blood bank. Just in case.
Jerry: In case of what?
Kramer: Jerry, I know myself. If I'm out on the street and it's starts to go down, I don't back off until it's finished.
Jerry: Are we finished?
Kramer: Done.

Quote from George

George: So, uh, what do you say?
Tara: I guess we could use some food in our lovemaking.
George: Okay, we got your... Got your strawberries. Your chocolate sauce. Your pastrami on rye with mustard. Your honey...
Tara: Wait, wait, wait. Pastrami on rye with mustard?
George: Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't you remember they used pastrami in that movie ​9 1⁄2 Weeks? Remember the pastrami scene?
Tara: No.
George: Well, maybe it was Ghostbuster. Whatever it was, it worked!

Quote from George

Jerry: So, the free love buffet is over?
George: I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.
Jerry: Yeah, that's what you did.

Quote from George

Vivian: Oh, isn't Elaine fantastic?
George: Yes, she is. It's a pity we won't be seeing much more of her.
Vivian: Really, why?
George: Oh, you haven't heard? No, she's going to live with her grandparents in Reading, Pennsylvania.
Vivian: Her grandparents passed away five years ago.
George: Yes, they did. I was covering. Elaine has been deported back to Scotland.
Vivian: She's an American citizen. I have seen her passport.
George: All right, no more lies. Elaine has been chosen to represent the Upper West Side in the next Biosphere project.
Vivian: I haven't heard anything about another Biosphere.
George: That's because it's underwater.
Vivian: This is insane.
George: Is it?
Vivian: Yes, it it.
George: Well, it's all for charity, so what's the difference?

Quote from Morty Seinfeld

Jerry: Are you sure you can't stay longer?
Morty Seinfeld: No, we just came up for the funeral.
Helen Seinfeld: Poor Marvin Kessler. He went too early.
Jerry: He was ninety-six years old.
Morty Seinfeld: That had nothing to do with it, the man was out of shape.
Helen Seinfeld: That's why we joined a program. We walk once around the block three times a week.
Morty Seinfeld: And every morning I eat a plum.
Jerry: Well, what ever you do, you're wearing me out.

Quote from George

Jerry: What happened? I thought you were with Tara tonight?
George: I was. I had to leave. She lit this vanilla incense. The smell drove me nuts. All I could think about was food. I had to get out of there. We're gonna need some pudding here! Pudding!
Elaine: You just left? What did you tell her?
George: I told her I had a bus transfer that was only good just for another hour.
Jerry: What?
George: I don't know. I was starving Jerry!

Quote from George

Jerry: Didn't go for it, huh?
George: No.
Jerry: So, she didn't appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted-cured meats?
George: She tolerated the strawberries and the chocolate sauce... But, uh, it's not a meal, you know? Food and sex, those are my two passions. It's only natural to combine them.
Jerry: Natural? Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich.
George: Jerry, I'm not suggesting getting rid of the girl. She's integral.
Jerry: Maybe instead of trying to satisfy two of your needs, how about satisfying one of somebody else's?

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