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‘The Reverse Peephole’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Seinfeld: The Reverse Peephole

912. The Reverse Peephole

Aired January 15, 1998

Kramer and Newman have the great notion of installing reverse peepholes. Elaine accidentally throws away someone's fur coat. George refuses to accept his big wallet is causing back problems.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Newman and I are reversing the peepholes on our door. So you can see in.
Elaine: Why?
Newman: To prevent an ambush.
Kramer: Yeah, so now I can peek to see if anyone is waiting to jack me with a sock full of pennies.
Jerry: But then anyone can just look in and see you.
Kramer: Our policy is we're comfortable with our bodies. You know, if someone wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say, enjoy the show.

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Quote from George

Elaine: Oh, I walked by Bloomingdale's the other day, and I saw that massage chair we want to get Joe Mayo as an apartment gift.
George: An apartment-warming gift? We got to give presents to people for moving? Birthdays, Christmas, it's enough gifts. I would like one month off.
Jerry: Kramer said it's a perfect gift. That's what we're getting him.
George: All right, but we're not buying it at Bloomingdale's. I will buy it, you pay me back later. I'll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense.
Jerry: Cheapness is not a sense.

Quote from Elaine

Waitress: Careful, this plate is extremely hot.
Elaine: Thank you. Ow!
Waitress: I just told you it was hot. Why'd you touch it?
Elaine: I just wanted to know what your idea of 'hot' is.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Nice wallet.
Newman: Wallet.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Nobody carries wallets anymore. I mean, they went out with powdered wigs. Yeah, see here's what you need. Just a couple of cards and your bankroll. See, keep the big bills on the outside.
Jerry: That's a five.

Quote from George

Jerry: You know, it is better without this big wallet. It's more comfortable.
George: It doesn't matter if it's more comfortable. It's wrong.
Jerry: Why?
George: Because important things go in a case. You got a skull for your brain, a plastic sleeve for your comb, and a wallet for your money.
Jerry: But look at this thing. It's- It's huge. [holds George's wallet and a hamburger] You got more cow here than here.
George: I need everything in there.
Jerry: Irish money?
George: I might go there.
Jerry: "Show this card at any participating Orlando-area Exxon station to get your free 'Save the Tiger' poster."
George: All right, just gimme that. And gimme some of those Sweet & Los.

Quote from Kramer

Silvio: Why are we in Jerry's apartment?
Kramer: Well, I, uh, I like to think of this as my conference room. Yeah, it has a more formal atmosphere, you know, with the shelves, and the furniture.

Quote from Newman

Newman: So, to what do I owe this unusual invitation?
Elaine: Come in, come in.
Newman: Ah! This is very much as I imagined it to be. Aside from this rattan piece, which seems oddly out of place.
Elaine: Please, sit down. Newman, um, I wanted to talk to you about something.
Newman: This isn't about my opening your mail?
Elaine: What?
Newman: Because I don't. Never have. Anything I read was already open.

Quote from David Puddy

Elaine: What is that?
David Puddy: It's my new coat.
Elaine: You ditched the fur?
David Puddy: Yeah, I saw Jerry wearing his. He looked like a bit of a dandy. Check it out. Eight Ball. You got a question, you ask the Eight Ball.
Elaine: You're gonna wear this all the time?
David Puddy: All signs point to yes.

Quote from David Puddy

Elaine: Why are you wearing that?
David Puddy: It's my winter coat.
Elaine: A fur?
David Puddy: Is there a problem?
Elaine: A seemingly infinite supply. [touches plate again] Ow. Careful, it's hot.
David Puddy: [touches plate] Ow!

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: So, Puddy wear's a man fur?
Elaine: He was strutting around the coffee shop like Stein Erickson.
Jerry: And, of course, you find fur morally reprehensible.
Elaine: Eh, anti-fur. I mean, who has the energy anymore? This is more about hanging off the arms of an idiot.
George: And this is the first you're seeing of the coat?
Elaine: We never dated in winter.
Jerry: You might want to get a look at that bathing suit drawer.

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