Kramer: Newman and I are reversing the peepholes on our door. So you can see in.
Elaine: Why?
Newman: To prevent an ambush.
Kramer: Yeah, so now I can peek to see if anyone is waiting to jack me with a sock full of pennies.
Jerry: But then anyone can just look in and see you.
Kramer: Our policy is we're comfortable with our bodies. You know, if someone wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say, enjoy the show.

Elaine: Oh, I walked by Bloomingdale's the other day, and I saw that massage chair we want to get Joe Mayo as an apartment gift.
George: An apartment-warming gift? We got to give presents to people for moving? Birthdays, Christmas, it's enough gifts. I would like one month off.
Jerry: Kramer said it's a perfect gift. That's what we're getting him.
George: All right, but we're not buying it at Bloomingdale's. I will buy it, you pay me back later. I'll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense.
Jerry: Cheapness is not a sense.

Waitress: Careful, this plate is extremely hot.
Elaine: Thank you. Ow!
Waitress: I just told you it was hot. Why'd you touch it?
Elaine: I just wanted to know what your idea of 'hot' is.

Kramer: Nice wallet.
Newman: Wallet.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Nobody carries wallets anymore. I mean, they went out with powdered wigs. Yeah, see here's what you need. Just a couple of cards and your bankroll. See, keep the big bills on the outside.
Jerry: That's a five.

Jerry: You know, it is better without this big wallet. It's more comfortable.
George: It doesn't matter if it's more comfortable. It's wrong.
Jerry: Why?
George: Because important things go in a case. You got a skull for your brain, a plastic sleeve for your comb, and a wallet for your money.
Jerry: But look at this thing. It's- It's huge. [holds George's wallet and a hamburger] You got more cow here than here.
George: I need everything in there.
Jerry: Irish money?
George: I might go there.
Jerry: "Show this card at any participating Orlando-area Exxon station to get your free 'Save the Tiger' poster."
George: All right, just gimme that. And gimme some of those Sweet & Los.

Silvio: Why are we in Jerry's apartment?
Kramer: Well, I, uh, I like to think of this as my conference room. Yeah, it has a more formal atmosphere, you know, with the shelves, and the furniture.

Newman: So, to what do I owe this unusual invitation?
Elaine: Come in, come in.
Newman: Ah! This is very much as I imagined it to be. Aside from this rattan piece, which seems oddly out of place.
Elaine: Please, sit down. Newman, um, I wanted to talk to you about something.
Newman: This isn't about my opening your mail?
Elaine: What?
Newman: Because I don't. Never have. Anything I read was already open.

Elaine: What is that?
David Puddy: It's my new coat.
Elaine: You ditched the fur?
David Puddy: Yeah, I saw Jerry wearing his. He looked like a bit of a dandy. Check it out. Eight Ball. You got a question, you ask the Eight Ball.
Elaine: You're gonna wear this all the time?
David Puddy: All signs point to yes.

Elaine: Why are you wearing that?
David Puddy: It's my winter coat.
Elaine: A fur?
David Puddy: Is there a problem?
Elaine: A seemingly infinite supply. [touches plate again] Ow. Careful, it's hot.
David Puddy: [touches plate] Ow!

Jerry: So, Puddy wear's a man fur?
Elaine: He was strutting around the coffee shop like Stein Erickson.
Jerry: And, of course, you find fur morally reprehensible.
Elaine: Eh, anti-fur. I mean, who has the energy anymore? This is more about hanging off the arms of an idiot.
George: And this is the first you're seeing of the coat?
Elaine: We never dated in winter.
Jerry: You might want to get a look at that bathing suit drawer.