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Seinfeld: The Soup

607. The Soup

Aired November 10, 1994

Jerry reluctantly accepts a free suit from Kenny Bania, who suggests Jerry buy him dinner in return. Meanwhile, George asks a waitress at Monk's out, and Elaine flies over a guy she met in England.

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: So he just gets soup. He wants to save the meal. So now I got to do it all over again.
Elaine: What kind of soup did he get?
Jerry: I don't know? Consomme or something.
Elaine: Consomme, hmm.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: Well, that's not really a meal, Jerry. I mean, if he had gotten chicken gumbo or matzah ball, even mushroom barley, then I would agree with you. Those are very hardy soups.

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Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Hey.
Jerry: Well, you want something to eat, don't you?
Kramer: Ah, no, no, no. You got me all wrong buddy. I am loving this no refrigerator. You know what I discovered? I really like depriving myself of things. It's fun. Very monastic.
George: Well, what do you eat?
Kramer: It's all fresh. Fresh fish, fresh foul, fresh fruit. I buy it, I... eat it.
Jerry: Well, I'm glad it's working out.
Kramer: Oh, yeah. It's working out.

Quote from Jerry

Kenny Bania: Ah, you know what I think. I'm just going to have soup. Yeah, I'll save the meal for another time.
Jerry: Another time? What other time?
Kenny Bania: I had a hot dog earlier. I'm not that hungry.
Jerry: No, no, Bania, no. This is the dinner. The soup counts.
Kenny Bania: Soup's not a meal. You're supposed to buy me a meal.
Jerry: I'm not stopping you from eating. Go ahead and eat. Get anything you want.
Kenny Bania: I don't want anything but soup.
Jerry: Then that's the meal.
Kenny Bania: But I had the hot dog.
Jerry: I didn't tell you to have a hot dog. Who told you to have a hot dog?
Kenny Bania: Hey, I give you a brand-new Armani suit, and you won't even buy me a meal?
Jerry: All right, fine. Get the soup!

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: The meal is the act of sitting down with him. It doesn't matter what you get, as long as he's sitting in that restaurant, its a meal.
Elaine: Was it a cup or a bowl?
Jerry: You see... Again...
Elaine: I'm just curious.
Jerry: A bowl, okay?
Elaine: Did he crumble any crackers in it? [Jerry gives an exasperated sigh] Did he crumble, any crackers in it?
Jerry: As a mater of fact, he did.
Elaine: Oh, well. Crackers in a bowl. That- That could be a meal.
Jerry: It's like I'm talking to my Aunt Sylvia here.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Okay, this is it, you know. This is the meal. So stock up, buddy boy.
Kenny Bania: What are you talking about? This isn't a meal.
Jerry: Yes, it is. Soup and sandwich. That is a meal.
Kenny Bania: You're supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restaurant, like Mendy's.
Jerry: I tried to do that.
Kenny Bania: This is lunch in a coffee shop
Jerry: Doesn't matter, this is it. This completes the transaction
Kenny Bania: Oh, soup and a sandwich for a brand-new Armani suit. Is that any kind of gesture?

Quote from George

Jerry: You know, there is always the possibility, that she called an audible.
George: What do you mean?
Jerry: Well, she got up to the line of scrimmage, didn't like the looks of the defense and changed the play.
George: I think things were going okay. We were having a nice conversation.
Jerry: Uh-huh.
George: I mentioned how I liked horse manure.
Jerry: You did?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: You said you liked horse manure?
George: Yeah. You know, about how when you break it down, it's really a very positive thing. You know, you have a "nure," with a "ma" in front of it. Ma-nure. It's not bad.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: So ...
Jerry: Well, why are you getting rid of your refrigerator?
Kramer: Well, after that kidney stone, I only want fresh food. It's gotta be fresh. I'm not eating any more stored food. Plus, you know, I want the space.
Jerry: Well, what for?
Kramer: Well I could put a, dresser in there. I could get dressed while I'm making breakfast.

Quote from George

George: Wow, is she not terrific?
Jerry: She does have a way.
George: You think she thinks I have a beautiful face, or is she just saying that?
Jerry: Well, they do work on tips.
George: "George, don't make me get tough with you." Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Who says that? She is really cool. What do you think? You think she likes me?
Jerry: Ah, I should have got the egg white omelet.
George: Why should she like me? Who am I? Huh, there's a million people to like.
Jerry: The omelet. Damn.
George: Maybe she could like me? Is it that far fetched? Maybe she sees something? Is it possible?
Jerry: No.
George: No.
Jerry: Not possible.
George: Not possible.

Quote from George

George: I did it! It's all done!
Jerry: Hey.
George: I did it. We're going out as soon as she gets off of work and it'll still be daytime. You know I, I'm much better in the daytime then I am at night. It's less pressure.
Jerry: I love the day date. No wine, No shower.
George: Yeah.

Quote from George

Kelly: So then about a year ago I started selling, these funky little hair clips. It's going pretty good. I make them in my apartment. [a horse and rider goes by] I'm just doing this waitress thing for a while, because I wanted to go to Europe this summer and I could use a few extra ... Careful.
George: Oh. It's just horse manure. Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word "manure." You know, it's, it's "nure," which is good. And a “ma” in front of it. Ma-nure. When you consider the other choices, “manure” is actually pretty refreshing.
Kelly: That's a nice watch, George.
George: Yeah.
Kelly: You know, my boyfriend has the same one.
George: Huh. Really?
Kelly: Yeah, he loves watches. He's a real watch freak.
George: Well, how about that?
Kelly: Ooh, look out. You stepped right in it.
George: Yes, I sure did.

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