Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The Jimmy’ Quotes

Seinfeld: The Jimmy

619. The Jimmy

Aired March 16, 1995

George's new basketball teammate, Jimmy, lines up a business opportunity for him. Meanwhile, Kramer and Jerry visit the dentist (Bryan Cranston), and Elaine falls for a guy at the gym.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: You know, you really shouldn't brush 24 hours before seeing the dentist.
Jerry: I think that's eat 24 hours before surgery.
Kramer: Oh, no, you got to eat before surgery. You need your strength.

Rate

Quote from George

George: I have to go see Steinbrenner later. Mr Wilhelm told him that I was the one responsible for stealing all the merchandise.
Jerry: Why?
George: 'Cause when he questioned me about it I was sweating from the Kung Pao.
Jerry: I don't know how you can eat that spicy chicken,
George: George likes spicy chicken.
Jerry: What's that?
George: I like spicy chicken.
Jerry: No, no. You said George likes spicy chicken.
George: No, I didn't.
Elaine: Yes, you did. You said George likes spicy chicken.
Jerry: You're turning in to Jimmy.
George: George is getting upset!

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: You know, I've never heard anyone talk the way you do. It's very unusual.
Jimmy: Well, Jimmy's very unusual.
Elaine: Well, anyway, see when I made the date, I thought that Jimmy...
Jimmy: Hey, look. Hank's got a new boyfriend. Jimmy's not threatened by Hanks sexuality. Jimmy's happy for Hank.
Elaine: Elaine once tried to convert one, but Elaine's not going to go through that again.

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Buying shoes is one of the great shopping challenges. Did you ever see someone put on new pair of shoes? They turn into a zombie as they start walking around the store. "Yeah, these are pretty good." Then they have that little 1-foot-high mirror there. What is that about? So I can see what cats will think of my shoes? What is that angle? Bum passed out on the curb, "Hey, what do you think of these? I just got them. I've seen them from that angle myself."

Quote from Mr. Steinbrenner

George: You wanted to see me Mr. Steinbrenner?
Mr. Steinbrenner: Yes, George. Come in. Come in. You know, George, I've been your biggest supporter around here and that's why I was so disappointed to hear that you been pilfering the equipment.
George: George would never do anything like that.
Mr. Steinbrenner: No, why would I? I own it.
George: Right.
Mr. Steinbrenner: So what are you saying?
George: Why would George steal from the Yankees?
Mr. Steinbrenner: He wouldn't.
George: 'course not.
Mr. Steinbrenner: Exactly. [mumbles] I don't really know what the hell's going on here.
George: Sir?
Mr. Steinbrenner: Nothing.
George: Well, I was thinking it's about time for George's lunch.
Mr. Steinbrenner: Yes, it is. All right, let's see what I have today. Oh, darn it. It's ham & cheese again. And she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like that fancy mustard. You know, you could put that fancy mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me. Oh, she made it up with a cupcake, though. Hey, look at this. You know, I got a new system for eating these things, George. I used to peel off the chocolate, now I turn them upside down. I eat the cake first and save the frosting for the end. It's almost a dessert dessert.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: I can't believe you're going out with him...
Elaine: Why?
Jerry: I dunno. He's so strange.
Elaine: How so?
Jerry: Didn't you notice he always refers to himself in the third person? Jimmy can dunk. Jimmy's new in town. Jimmy we'll see you later.
Elaine: No, no, wait a minute .That's not him. That's the guy who gave me Jimmy's number.
Jerry: That's Jimmy. That's the way he talks.
Elaine: I'm going to go see Mel Tormé with him?
Jerry: Jimmy's gonna put the moves on Elaine.

Quote from George

Wilhelm: So, George, have you heard anything about the missing equipment?
George: No. Not a thing.
Wilhelm: You know, George, there's nothing I hate more than a liar.
George: Well, there's no room for someone like that in this organization.
Wilhelm: Are you feeling all right, George?
George: Huh, what?
Wilhelm: You look a little warm.
George: It's the chicken
Wilhelm: You're a terrible liar, George. Look at you, you're a wreck! You're sweating bullets.
George: It's the Kung Pao. George likes his chicken spicy.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Hey, listen. Do either of you guys know that... that blond guy who's always on the Exercycle at the health club. You know, he's just really handsome?..
George: I... I wouldn't know.
Elaine: You know, just admitting a man is handsome doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual.
George: It doesn't help.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Jerry, it's my fault. I couldn't make a shot. These losses they stay with me. They fester, Jerry. Oh, this is gonna plague me.

Quote from Kramer

George: What day is today? Aw, Tuesday! Damn it. I shouldn't have worked out today. Mr Wilhelm has called a big meeting and now I'm gonna be sweating through the whole thing.
Jerry: Why. You took a shower?
George: Ah, it wouldn't take. Ten minutes from now, I'll be sweating all over again. I can feel it. I'm a human heat pump!
Kramer: You should take cold showers.
George: Cold showers? They're for psychotics.
Kramer: Well, I take them. They give me a whoosh!

Quote from Jerry

Kramer: So you got any cavities?
Jerry: Just one. Gotta go back. Oh, but get this. And Elaine, you will appreciate this. I'm sitting in Tim Whatley's waiting room, he's got a Penthouse right out on the table.
Elaine: Penthouse?
Jerry: Yeah! What is that? I mean isn't that sick. I mean, I'd be embarrassed to have that in my apartment.
Kramer: So what's wrong with that?
Jerry: He's a doctor! I mean, it's supposed to be like a sterile environment.
Kramer: So, did you take a look?
Jerry: Of course. But that's got nothing to do with it.
Kramer: Well, I'll tell you I'm looking forward to my appointment on Thursday. I might even get there a few minutes early.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: So what did Tim say?
Kramer: [slurred] Well, he said I gotta cut out the Skittles.
Jerry: Looks like he gave you some Novocaine.
Kramer: Oh, I'm loaded.
Jerry: So what about the Penthouse. Did you ask him?
Kramer: Well, he said that it helps his patients relax a little bit. And he's got a new policy, adults only.
Jerry: Adults only?
Kramer: Yeah!
Jerry: What the hell is going on over there?
Kramer: Well, you know, it's great. You know, no kids allowed, you don't have to watch your language.
Jerry: You find you need to use a lot of obscenities at the dentist?
Kramer: Hey, hey, when they pull that needle out, I let the expletives fly.

Quote from Kramer

Deensfrei: My name is Arnold Deensfrei. What is your name?
Kramer: [slurred] Cosmo Kramer. Nice to meet you.
Deensfrei: Very nice to meet you, Cosmo. Are you heading home?
Kramer: Yeah, heading home.
Deensfrei: Good for you. You are really independent.
Kramer: Yeah, you're not doing too bad yourself.

Quote from Kramer

Elaine: What about the Velvet Fog?
Kramer: Well, he's singing at a benefit and I'm gonna be sitting at his table.
Elaine: Oh, I'm going to that.
Kramer: Yeah, I'm a guest of honor.
Elaine: What are you talking about?
Kramer: Well, this afternoon I shared a cab with this, um, Deensfrei.
Elaine: Yeah, yeah. Arnold Deensfrei. He runs the AMCA.
Kramer: Yeah! Well, that's the guy. He's organizing the dinner.
Elaine: I know that but why are you going?
Kramer: Well, because we hit it off and he was very impressed with what I do.
Elaine: What you do? You don't do anything.
Kramer: Well, apparently I do something 'cause I'm sitting at the head table with Mel Tormé.

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: What are those?
Kramer: Oh, these are my vertical leap training shoes.
Jerry: Wait a second, Were you wearing those shoes in the cab?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. Right after I left the Y.
Jerry: Don't you see what's happened here? He couldn't talk, he's wearing these shoes, he's drooling.
Kramer. What?
Elaine: He thinks you're mentally challenged.
Jerry: Well... You know...
Elaine: Well, what happens when you show up? He'll see that you're not.
Jerry: Not necessarily because.....

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: [slurred] No, no. I've been living alone a long time now.
Mel Tormé: Well, I think that's the tops.

Quote from Kramer

Mel Tormé: Ladies and gentlemen, I want to dedicate this song to a very courageous young man. [singing] When you're smiling When you're smiling The whole world smiles with you When you're laughing When you're laughing The sun comes shining through But when you're crying, you bring on the rain So stop that sign. Be happy again Keep on smiling Cause when you're smiling The whole world smiles with you... The whole world smiles with [Kramer joins in] you...


 Episode 618 Episode 620 
  Select another episode