[stand-up:]
Jerry: Well, I would say the concept between the car phone, and the phone machine, the speakerphone, the airline phone, portable phone, the pay phone, the cordless phone, the multiline phone, the phone pager, the call waiting, call forwarding, call conferencing, speed dialing, direct dialing, and the redialing, is that we all have absolutely nothing to say, and we've got to talk to someone about it right now. Cannot wait another second. I mean, come on. You're at home, you're on the phone. You're in the car, you're making calls. You get to work, "Any messages for me?" You gotta give people a chance to miss you a little.

Elaine: What does it mean anyway? "God bless you". It's a stupid 'stuperstition'.
Jerry: A stupid what?
Elaine: Whatever.

[stand-up:]
Jerry: A man is paralyzed, mentally, by a beautiful woman. Advertisers really take advantage of this. Don't you love those ads where you see, like, the woman in the bikini next to the 32-piece ratchet set, you know, and she's... You know, we'll be looking at the girl in the bikini, and looking at the ratchet set going, "All right, well if she's right next to the ratchet set, and I had that ratchet set... I wonder if that would mean that... I better just buy that ratchet set."

Elaine: Jerry saw this guy crash into a car, and he followed him.
Kramer: Good for you! What kind of a sick lowlife would do a thing like that? You know those people, you know they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia.
Jerry: Australia?
Kramer: Yeah. Yeah, that's where England used to send their convicts.
Jerry: But not anymore.
Kramer: No.

Jerry: By the way, Elaine does not need to know about anything.
George: Hey, hey, hey. I dig.
Jerry: Oh, you dig?
George: Yes, I see enormous potential here.
Jerry: Why?
George: Because great couples always have a great story about how they met. That's why I've never been in a long term relationship. I've never had a good meeting story.

Jerry: I wonder if I'm nuts for pursuing this woman at all.
George: I don't think so.
Jerry: Look, she slammed into a parked car. She took no responsibility for mutilating the property of a stranger, and then she sped off like a criminal. ... On the other hand, does that mean she should never be allowed to date again? You scratch one car and you're forbidden to have social contact for the rest of your life?!

Elaine: Hey, Kramer. Kramer!
Kramer: Yeah?
Elaine: What happened to you right here?
Kramer: I don't know!
Kramer: You know, I was watching Entertainment Tonight, and uh, suddenly, you know, I got dizzy. And the next thing I know I hit my head on the coffee table.
Elaine: Well, that is- That is strange.
Kramer: Yep. [mumbles off]

Elaine: I can't go alone.
Jerry: Ask George to go with you.
Elaine: George, come on. I'll pay for you.
George: You'll pay? I'm there.
Jerry: Why do you even need anybody?
Elaine: Because I hate being at a table alone with a married couple. Talking about their married friends, and their married furniture. They're always trying to make me feel like their life is so much better than mine. You know, I have a very exciting life. It's very exciting. [exits]

Robin: You went out with a bullfighter?
Elaine: Yes. Well, an ex-bullfighter now.
Michael: Wow.
Robin: What was his name?
Elaine: His name? Name... Um, his name was uh, uh, Eduardo Caroccio.
George: Pass the salt please.
Robin: Where did you meet him?
Elaine: Um, actually, I met him in Switzerland, and he was fighting, uh... Is that the word they use? Fighting? Because they don't really fight the bull, they avoid fighting the bull. [all laugh]

Elaine: Oh, I just love meeting new people. You know that's how you really do learn about life.
[Robin sneezes. Nobody says anything. George lifts his head up and looks across the table.]
George: God bless you.
Robin: Thank you.
George: I wasn't going to say anything, but then I could see that he wasn't going to open his mouth.