Frasier Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- 401 The Two Mrs. Cranes
- 402 Love Bites Dog
- 403 The Impossible Dream
- 404 A Cranes' Critique
- 405 Head Game
- 406 Mixed Doubles
- 407 A Lilith Thanksgiving
- 408 Our Father Whose Art Ain't Heaven
- 409 Dad Loves Sherry, the Boys Just Whine
- 410 Liar! Liar!
- 411 Three Days of the Condo
- 412 Death and the Dog
- 413 Four for the Seesaw
- 414 To Kill a Talking Bird
- 415 Roz's Krant and Gouldenstein Are Dead
- 416 The Unnatural
- 417 Roz's Turn
- 418 Ham Radio
- 419 Three Dates and a Break Up
- 420 Daphne Hates Sherry
- 421 Are You Being Served?
- 422 Ask Me No Questions
- 423 Odd Man Out
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
- Season 8
- Season 9
- Season 10
- Season 11
Frasier
After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.
Starring:
Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Recurring Actors:
Dan Butler, Edward Hibbert, Harriet Sansom Harris, Patrick Kerr, Bebe Neuwirth, Marsha Mason, Tom McGowan, Anthony LaPaglia, Millicent Martin, Wendie Malick.
Original Run: 1993-2004.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Roz in Death and the Dog
Roz: When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Frasier in The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss
Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!
Quote from Niles in To Tell the Truth
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote Collections
-
The unbelievable stories of Niles' ex-wife, the Seattle socialite Maris Crane.
46 quotes
-
The best calls to Dr. Frasier Crane's radio show.
32 quotes
-
Enjoy a selection of quotes from classic Christmas episodes of Frasier.
28 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Frasier in An Affair to Forget
Roz: We have Gretchen calling back about her husband's affair. She thinks she has more evidence.
Frasier: Hello, Gretchen. I'm listening.
Gretchen: "Oh, Dr. Crane. I took Roz's advice and gave my husband two choices for dinner, and he picked the diet plate!"
Frasier: But that is no proof that he's having an affair.
Gretchen: But Gunnar has a healthy appetite!
Frasier: No, no, the proof is-is phone bills, uh, credit card receipts- Gunnar?
Gretchen: I also found a love letter he wrote to her.
Frasier: And how long were you going to keep that a secret, Gretchen? Come on, work with me here. What does it say?
Gretchen: "Mein kleiner Leberknodel,"
Frasier: I-I'm sorry, I don't speak German.
Gretchen: It means, "my little liver dumpling." That used to be his pet name for me.
Frasier: Well, maybe he's writing to you.
Gretchen: "It can't be me. He says he loves her beautiful little body, as thin as his sword, and her skin as white as bratwurst, and that she's his nicht ganz menschliche Frau."
Frasier: What is that?
Gretchen: "I don't know if there's a word in English. The closest translation is, 'not quite human woman.'"
Frasier: Oh, dear God, it is her!