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Room Service

‘Room Service’

Season 5, Episode 15 - Aired March 3, 1998

When Lilith comes to town with news that her husband has left her, Frasier tasks Niles with keeping them from ending up in bed together.

Quote from Lilith

Roz: Hey, that's rough. Leaving you for another man. Did you have any idea?
Lilith: No, none at all. Stan was a contractor we had hired to expand our master bedroom. It's ironic, isn't it? No sooner do I get the closet of my dreams than my husband comes out of it.

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Quote from Lilith

Niles: This is my worst nightmare.
Lilith: You have egg on your face.
Niles: That is an understatement!
Lilith: No, actual egg.

Quote from Niles

Frasier: Mmm, that bun looks good.
Niles: Now, now, remember your diet.
Frasier: Speaking of buns I could do without, Lilith is back.
Niles: Oh. I guess that explains why blood was pouring from all my faucets this morning.

Quote from Niles

Lilith: My God! What did we do? What did we do?
Niles: Well, first you put your...
Lilith: I know what we did. What do we do now?!
Niles: Let's just stay calm. These things happen. They happen every day... every day in Arkansas!

Quote from Niles

Niles: Now I remember ordering this. It's the breakfast I always have after a night of passion.
Lilith: Eggs Benedict? That's very rich.
Niles: I only have it once a year.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Well that's all the time we have today. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, wishing you a good day and good mental... [sees Lilith in Roz's booth] Argh! I- I'm sorry, someone just walked in the room and frightened me. It's, uh, my ex-wife, so if you're a regular listener you'll know what I'm talking about. I'll see you Monday.

Quote from Lilith

[Lilith is sobbing as Roz returns to the booth]
Roz: What did you do to her?
Frasier: Nothing, I sent her a gift basket, fruits and festive nuts!
Lilith: Oh, it's not the basket, you nit. It's Brian. He left me.
Roz: Maybe I should go.
Lilith: Oh no, everyone else knows and you might as well know it, too. Brian was looking for someone a bit more feminine... and he found him. Oh, Stan Jablonsky that little hussy.

Quote from Niles

Niles: Well, do your best to avoid her.
Frasier: No, I can't. She's joining us at the Union Club tonight.
Niles: What, she's going to be there?
Frasier: Oh, come on Niles, it's just a bunch of stuffed shirts talking about their portfolios and prostates.
Niles: Exactly, and you've ruined it.

Quote from Daphne

Martin: Hey Daph, come down here, I taught him a new trick.
Daphne: Oh, I love animal tricks. You know, I was reading in a movie magazine there's this stunt dog who they taught to ride a motorcycle into a burning building, pick up a baby in its teeth, then jump out the window to safety. What did you teach Eddie?
Martin: To roll over.
Daphne: You must be very proud.

Quote from Lilith

Lilith: Niles, sorry to hear your marriage ended in a shambles.
Niles: Ditto.
Frasier: Yes, well, now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, let me take your wrap.

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