Roz: Hey, that's rough. Leaving you for another man. Did you have any idea?
Lilith: No, none at all. Stan was a contractor we had hired to expand our master bedroom. It's ironic, isn't it? No sooner do I get the closet of my dreams than my husband comes out of it.

Niles: This is my worst nightmare.
Lilith: You have egg on your face.
Niles: That is an understatement!
Lilith: No, actual egg.

Frasier: Mmm, that bun looks good.
Niles: Now, now, remember your diet.
Frasier: Speaking of buns I could do without, Lilith is back.
Niles: Oh. I guess that explains why blood was pouring from all my faucets this morning.

Lilith: My God! What did we do? What did we do?
Niles: Well, first you put your...
Lilith: I know what we did. What do we do now?!
Niles: Let's just stay calm. These things happen. They happen every day... every day in Arkansas!

Niles: Now I remember ordering this. It's the breakfast I always have after a night of passion.
Lilith: Eggs Benedict? That's very rich.
Niles: I only have it once a year.

Frasier: Well that's all the time we have today. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, wishing you a good day and good mental... [sees Lilith in Roz's booth] Argh! I- I'm sorry, someone just walked in the room and frightened me. It's, uh, my ex-wife, so if you're a regular listener you'll know what I'm talking about. I'll see you Monday.

[Lilith is sobbing as Roz returns to the booth]
Roz: What did you do to her?
Frasier: Nothing, I sent her a gift basket, fruits and festive nuts!
Lilith: Oh, it's not the basket, you nit. It's Brian. He left me.
Roz: Maybe I should go.
Lilith: Oh no, everyone else knows and you might as well know it, too. Brian was looking for someone a bit more feminine... and he found him. Oh, Stan Jablonsky that little hussy.

Niles: Well, do your best to avoid her.
Frasier: No, I can't. She's joining us at the Union Club tonight.
Niles: What, she's going to be there?
Frasier: Oh, come on Niles, it's just a bunch of stuffed shirts talking about their portfolios and prostates.
Niles: Exactly, and you've ruined it.

Martin: Hey Daph, come down here, I taught him a new trick.
Daphne: Oh, I love animal tricks. You know, I was reading in a movie magazine there's this stunt dog who they taught to ride a motorcycle into a burning building, pick up a baby in its teeth, then jump out the window to safety. What did you teach Eddie?
Martin: To roll over.
Daphne: You must be very proud.

Lilith: Niles, sorry to hear your marriage ended in a shambles.
Niles: Ditto.
Frasier: Yes, well, now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, let me take your wrap.