Julia: Nice towels, Frasier. You'd think a couple of old ladies lived here.
Frasier: Get out.
Julia: Excuse me?
Frasier: I said get out!
Julia: I'm sorry. Have you just lost your mind?
Frasier: No, that happened earlier when we slept together!
Julia: Are you breaking up with me?
Frasier: You're damn right I am!
Julia: I want my purse.
Frasier: And I, my hand towel!
Julia: I can't believe this. You're actually kicking me out?
Frasier: Do you want me to draw you a picture?
Julia: We'd be here all night!
Frasier: Get out!

Frasier: Isn't this fun? I'm having a good time.
Daphne: She certainly takes a lot of calls at dinnertime.
Frasier: You know, that's exactly the kind of flaw that the old Frasier would have seized upon as a pretext to end the relationship, but I- I know now that- that impulse to run is- is really an indication that my feelings for her are just deepening, and um... Gone are the days when I would have said something like, "How rude!", or "She's horrible. I've made a ghastly, ghastly mistake."

Martin: I'm excited for you, Daphne. Takes me back to when I had my kids. What are you hoping for, boy or girl?
Daphne: Oh, I don't know. Be sort of nice to have a boy.
[meanwhile:]
Frasier: Niles, just look at the edging on this.
Niles: Have you ever? Have you ever? And look, this is all hand-stitched.
Frasier: Mm-hmm.
Daphne: [to Martin] Or a girl. Either way.

Frasier: Well, I've ruined another relationship. I suppose you'll want to hear the whole sorry tale.
Niles: Uh, no thank you.
Frasier: Last night, Julia came over and, as usual, I made a mess of things... Did you say no?
Niles: I said, "No, thank you."
Frasier: But I wish to unburden myself.
Niles: And I wish to remain in my good mood. Therefore, I demur.
Frasier: You demur?
Niles: I demur.

Niles: What you need isn't a shoulder, it's a swift boot to break you out of this pattern.
Frasier: What pattern?
Niles: Your pattern of ruining things before they've even begun.
Frasier: And when have I done that?
Niles: Hmm, let me see. Faye. Cassandra. Chelsea. Claire. Lana. Abby. Mia. Marie.
Frasier: Oh, all right! I knew I had a pattern, I just didn't think you'd remember the names.

Niles: All right, all right. The next time you find yourself doing it again, fixating, say on some tiny fault in the woman, recognize what that is, you're feeling vulnerable. But don't give in to the fear. Commit to commitment.
Frasier: Commit to commitment. Well, it's a bit glib, but nonetheless inspiring. Thank you, Niles. I'm going to call Julia, and I will not take "no" for an answer. I may have walked in here the old fault-finding, flaw-fleeing Flasier,
but I leave a man committed to commitment.
Niles: You said "Flasier."
Frasier: I did not.
Niles: Yes, you did.
Frasier: I most certainly did not.
Niles: No, I heard you say "Flasier."
Frasier: I've been saying my own name for the last forty-some odd years.
Niles: I know, but your tongue...

Frasier: Oh, hi, Dad.
Martin: Before you say anything, if you know the score to the Mariners game, don't tell me, I'm taping it to watch later.
Frasier: Dad, the odds of my knowing the score to the Mariners game are about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.

Julia: Ten years? If I still needed a cane after that long, I'd dump my physical therapist and find one who knows what they're doing.
Daphne: [entering from the kitchen] Hello.
Martin: Well, actually, this is her. She's also my daughter-in-law. Daphne, this is Julia.
Julia: Sorry about that.
Daphne: That's all right. And just so you know, he wouldn't need the cane so much if he'd stretch more.
Julia: I would have thought that part of your job was making sure he stretched.
Daphne: Yes, but, I can't be here day and night.
Julia: Oh, I'm sorry. For some reason I thought you lived here.
Daphne: Well, I don't.

Niles: Frasier, what are you doing in the kitchen?
Frasier: You just asked to see me.
Niles: Oh, so you haven't gone deaf.
Frasier: Why would I have gone deaf?
Niles: Because that's the only good reason you sat there silently while our profession was assaulted like a drag queen at a tractor pull.

Niles: Oh, knock it off, Frasier, you don't love her. You're just trying to talk yourself into honoring your ill-advised commitment.
Frasier: How dare you presume to know the workings of my heart? You can't understand the kind of feelings Julia and I have for one another. You may as well ask me to describe the essence of music or the color of starlight!