Previous Episode Next Episode 
To Thine Old Self Be True

‘To Thine Old Self Be True’

Season 7, Episode 20 -  Aired April 27, 2000

To prove he's not a stuffy fusspot, Frasier agrees to host a bachelor party for Donny.

Quote from Martin

Martin: It's not here yet.
Frasier: How did you even-
Martin: You've been yakking about it for weeks. Your new blazer's coming. It's Italian, it's hand-stitched, it cost more money than my first car.
Frasier: Yes, well, it's made from very expensive material. They have to find exactly the right kind of goat.
Martin: Looks like they did.


Quote from Frasier

Frasier: It's hard to believe that's the same frail woman who once sprained her wrist from having too much dip on a cracker.

Quote from Roz

Frasier: You know, just this morning, Donny said I was too fussy to throw him a bachelor party.
Roz: Well, you did give off kinda a fussy vibe.
Frasier: You know, there are other sides to my personality. I remember back in my Boston days, you know, I mean, I had a regular bar and a regular bar stool. I even had a tab!
Roz: Well, if you go back you should try having a beer.

Quote from Daphne

Daphne: Morning, Dr. Crane. I made you a special breakfast.
Frasier: Why, thank you, Daphne.
Daphne: After all, blazer-day comes but once a year.

Quote from Frasier

Regan: Oh, Frasier, I was concerned about your back.
Daphne: You hurt your back?
Frasier: No, no, it was just a spasm. See, leaning against the wall like this, it actually feels a lot better.
Mel: Is it upper back or lower?
Frasier: Middle. Actually, if you could all just leave me alone, really I'm fine just here.
Daphne: Why don't we just get you onto the couch?
Frasier: No, no, no, please. Please, I know what I'm doing.
Regan: We'll each take a side.
Frasier: No, stop!
Mel: Frasier, it could be a parasic strain.
Daphne: Or a bulging disc.
Regan: Yes, impinging on your lumbar nerves.
Frasier: Yes, it could easily be anyone of those things. But did you also consider that it might be... the stripper chained to my wrist.
Daphne: Officer Nasty!

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Problem?
Donny: Yeah, it's my bachelor party, my best man can't arrange it and I'm having a hell of a time trying to find somebody to fill in.
Frasier: Well, Donny, if you're looking for someone to throw you an appropriate shindig, I'd be willing to volunteer.
Donny: Oh. No, no, no, no, thank you, no. I don't think so. It's okay. Just don't want to impose.
Frasier: No, no, it's no trouble at all, really.
Donny: No, no, no, no! It'll be fine, but thanks for the offer, though, Frasier. I don't think we're talking about the same kind of party.
Frasier: Donny, if you're letting my reputation as an aesthete cloud your judgment, I assure you I am just one of the guys, capable of getting down and dirty with the rest of them!
[Frasier answers the door:]
Doorman: Your jacket, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Oh, dear God! You never fold cashmere! You'll misdirect the knap! Get out. [closes the door] Donny, give it some thought.

Quote from Frasier

Roz: I'm thinking about getting my eyes done. It's a little expensive-
Frasier: Now, now, Roz. Cosmetic surgery's a drastic step. I mean, if you're worried about those bags under your eyes, why don't you try just a different concealer? Perhaps a good night's sleep once in a while.
Roz: I meant the laser procedure so I could see without my contacts.

Quote from Frasier

Niles: I just saw the most incredible thing. You will not believe it.
Roz: What is it?
Niles: You have to see it for yourself. Mere words cannot... Ooh, new jacket?
Frasier: Yes. It just came today.
Niles: It's nice stitching.
Frasier: Thank you. Christophe.
Niles: No, really.
Frasier: Yes.
Niles: Is there something wrong with the knap?
Frasier: Oh, my God, is it that obvious...?

Quote from Frasier

Niles: You know, when I last saw her at Christmas she was her usual tiny self.
Frasier: Wait, Niles, wasn't that about the time you started dating her plastic surgeon?
Niles: Actually, it was. Do you think that could have triggered some sort of binge?
Frasier: Well.
Niles: Well, this isn't going to help. Mel and I are in the society page today. That's our picture at the symphony benefit. I shudder to think how Maris'll react to that, you know how petty and jealous she can get.
Frasier: They never take a photo of me and I'm in the conductor's circle.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Regan. Well, this is certainly my lucky day, running into you twice. Gosh, I guess this must look a little strange.
Regan: Really, it's none of my business.
Frasier: No, no. Actually, it's quite an amusing story. You see, I was just getting a "Seattle Times" here and I got my coat stuck in the machine.
Regan: That's not the "Seattle Times."
Frasier: Hmm? Dear God! They should label these things more clearly. This is some sort of a smut rag.

Page 2