Niles: Well, that's a bit harsh.
Frasier: Oh, please. This is a woman who believes the Spanish Inquisition was just tough love for heretics.

Frasier: I have someone here with me today, someone you haven't seen for quite a while. There's something she'd like to tell you, something she's wanted to tell you for a very, very long time. Mrs. Mulhern?
Mrs. Mulhern: You little whore!
Nora: Mother!
Mrs. Mulhern: So, you thought you could get away from me, did you? Thought you could leave me to rot in that dump without barely enough cash for a bottle of Mateus. You'll pay for that, missy!
Roz: I was wrong, Frasier! Your way is better!

Frasier: Ah, Dr. Nora.
Nora: Such a frosty tone. Is something the matter?
Frasier: I have just one question—
Roz: What kind of vicious, judgmental, name-calling, machete-mouthed bitch are you?
Frasier: I was going for the less feisty version.

Frasier: Shh, she's about to start. I just want to catch the beginning, make sure she's got those first-show jitters under control.
[in the booth:]
Nora: All right, let's get right to our first caller. Whom do we have?
George: We have Jenny from Tacoma on line one.
Nora: Hello, Jenny, I'm Dr. Nora and I'm here to help.
Jenny: "Hi, Dr. Nora. My boyfriend and I have been living together for about two years—"
Nora: Are you having sex?
Jenny: "Our sex life's not the problem, it's great. But whenever I mention marriage he changes the subject. Do you think that he's afraid of commitment?"
Nora: No, that's not it. Let me help you see this from a different perspective. You're a whore, Jenny.
Jenny: "Huh? A-a whore?!"
Nora: You're sleeping with a man you're not married to. In my book, that's a whore.
Jenny: "Well, I'm not a whore. I'm a flight attendant."
Nora: Oh, you think there's no overlap?
[outside the booth:]
Roz: Well, she's got her jitters under control.
[inside the booth:]
Nora: Wake up, Jenny, you've blown it. Dump this creep. Find a new guy, and until you're Mrs. New Guy you keep those knees together, OK? Staple them! I don't care if you have to hop to the altar. [laughs] God bless, honey. Who's next?

Niles: Anyway, moving on to me. What's the verdict?
Frasier: Verdict?
Niles: On my new look. I must say, you deserve some of the credit.
Frasier: Really?
Niles: Well, yes, you keep saying I should accept Daphne's relationship with Donny and find a paramour of my own. Well, the hunt is on. I thought to bolster my self-esteem I would adopt this raffish new look.
Frasier: Well, it suits you. Dashing, and yet understated, and, uh... Oh, I give up, what are we talking about?
Niles: My mustache. I grant you, it's at an early stage.
Frasier: What stage, research & development?

Frasier: You know, Roz, maybe they're right. I mean, look at what this woman has reduced me to already. Trading barbs, yelling over the air. Now I'm spreading rumors about her? Is that anyway for a psychiatrist to deal with conflict?
Roz: Don't you wimp out on me!
Frasier: Now, Roz, just think about it. There may be a better way. You know, Dr. Nora is clearly a damaged and angry woman. Maybe I could find out what's at the root of that anger, and help her, also proving that my method of therapy is the more valid one.
Roz: Why are you doing this to me? Look, if you have a tumor—
Frasier: Roz, stop it!

Niles: Frasier, was that the author Dr. Gordon Edelstein?
Frasier: Yes.
Niles: I wasn't aware you knew him.
Frasier: Yes, well, we just met. You see, the station is hiring another call-in psychiatrist for a one-week trial period. They've asked me to choose among the finalists.
Niles: Well, he'd be wonderful. [wiping down his chair] I just finished his book on the victims of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Poor, tic-ridden devils.

Frasier: Come on, Roz, hurry up. I'd like to get out of here before her trainer shows up with a bucket of live mice for her pre-show feeding.

Nora: Mother, please. I am doing my show!
Mrs. Mulhern: Yes, you're Little Miss Perfect now, aren't you? Telling everybody else how wicked they are. They should hear about your past!
Frasier: Mrs. Mulhern, please!
Mrs. Mulhern: The shame you brought on me. You ungrateful tramp!
Nora: [crying] Mother, please, I'm a good girl now.
Mrs. Mulhern: How you were paid, paid, to leave town, by that nice boy's family.
Frasier: For God's sake, Nora, go to commercial!

Nora: There, Seattle, now you know what I mean when I say there are some people you just don't need in your life. Help me out, George!
Mrs. Mulhern: What are they paying you here? I want my cut!
[Nora rushes into the producer's booth]
Nora: I knew that you hated me, but I just can't believe you could be so cruel.
Frasier: I was trying to help. She seemed delightful on the phone.
Mrs. Mulhern: I want fifty dollars right now!
Nora: How many times will I have to move before I'm finally free of her?
Frasier: Nora, I'm sorry!
Mrs. Mulhern: You owe me, Missy! I gave you life!