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Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do

‘Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do’

Season 5, Episode 11 -  Aired January 13, 1998

Frasier and Niles are worried when Daphne admits she found an engagement ring in Martin's drawers.

Quote from Sherry

Frasier: Dad, Dad, listen, I've got something that I think you might like to have before you tell Sherry whatever it is you want to tell her.
Sherry: Oh, he's already told me.
Frasier: He has? Well, that is just wonderful and may I say, it's about time. I couldn't be happier for you.
Sherry: Well, that's nice to know.
Martin: Frasier!
Frasier: I'd like you to know that everybody is one hundred percent behind this decision. My God, we're all so excited.
Martin: Frasier!
Sherry: Well, I'm so glad that you're so happy your father's breaking up with me.
Frasier: Breaking up? ... I had no idea.
Sherry: And you get paid to help people through their difficult moments?


Quote from Roz

Police Woman: Ah, excuse me, ma'am, I saw you cross against the light. I'm going to have to write you a ticket.
Roz: Oh, well, I'm really sorry about that. It's just that it's so cold out there and the pollution. I just didn't want to expose my unborn child to the elements any longer than I needed to. [Roz stands to reveal her bump]
Police Woman: You're pregnant? Well, I know a little bit about that myself.
Roz: Then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Society doesn't go easy on pregnant ladies, does it? [pats the officer's belly] So, when are you due?
Police Woman: I'm not pregnant.
Roz: That's Roz Doyle.
Police Woman: Would you step over here?
Roz: R-O-Z.

Quote from Niles

Niles: Oh, I got your message about the wine club, Friday night, and yes, I will be there.
Frasier: Oh, good. Dad's kicking me out of the house that night so he and Sherry can have a little party. [laughs] Oh, you know, life really is a circle, isn't it? I'm letting Dad use my place for his friends to get together, and just a few years ago it would have been Dad who'd have to leave his house for my parties.
Niles: Yes, if you'd had any parties when we were young that would be filled with irony.

Quote from Frasier

Daphne: Thank goodness you're here. I've got some rather shocking news.
Niles: What is it?
Daphne: I found a ring in your father's underwear drawer.
Frasier: [shocked] What on earth would leave a ring around his underwear drawer?

Quote from Frasier

Daphne: Not around, in. An engagement ring in a jewelry box.
Niles: An engagement ring? Dad must be about to ask Sherry to marry him. Do you know what that means?
Frasier: Yes, we're going to hear what Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" sounds like on the banjo.

Quote from Niles

Niles: It means she's going to be our mother. What are we going to do?
Frasier: Well, there's nothing we can do, Niles. It's what Dad wants.
Niles: But what do we even call her?
Frasier: Well, I suppose she'll want us to call her "mother." No, no, that's too formal. "Mama"... no, "Ma!"
Niles: Oh, better still. "Don't you look nice, Ma." "Yes, I'd love another corn dog, Ma." "Off to the roller derby, Ma?"

Quote from Niles

Daphne: That's typical of you two. Your father is about to get married and all you two can think about is how it will affect you. What about me?
Frasier: What about you?
Daphne: Sherry's never exactly liked me. You don't think she'll try to make your father get rid of me, do you?
Frasier: Oh, Daphne, of course not. He'd be lost without you.
Niles: Yes, and even if by some chance that were to happen, Daphne, I could always use you. I-I would know
of a position you could take... Services that you could perform. I would know of an opening... [takes Daphne's check] This is on me.

Quote from Niles

Sherry: Marty, you need to stir the dip more, it's got whole lumps of soup mix in it.
Martin: Sorry.
Frasier: My, my, my, quite a little shindig you two are planning for tonight. We have the cheese logs, the erotic fortune cookies. For after dinner, a bloopers tape: "Too Hot For Hee Haw."
Niles: I see that Martha Stewart party book I gave you really paid off.

Quote from Martin

Frasier: You know, Dad, I was talking with a lady today down at the café and I happened to mention that I'd been married twice before, and a look clouded over her face as if I'd confessed to some unspeakable sin.
Niles: Makes you wonder what people go through who've been married even more times than that. Quite a taboo they face.
Daphne: Oh, I don't know, some...
Frasier: [to Daphne] Ssh! You know, Dad, I think it hearkens back to the puritanical streak that still runs through this country. What do you think?
Martin: There's a yakkety-yak streak that runs through this family.

Quote from Frasier

Niles: Well, this evening is an entire disaster. I'm already late for dinner with Maris. I just don't know how this could have happened. [walks to door but doesn't open it]
Frasier: Yes, who'd have guessed that something so innocent as spying on a man's girlfriend and rifling his underwear drawer can turn so ugly.
Niles: Well, there is one consolation. We told Dad the truth and we were able to bear his anger. That's the nice thing about our relationship. We're all adults. We can talk things through. We're not afraid of confrontation...
Frasier: Stop stalling, Niles. Dad must be on the elevator by now.

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