Frasier: You know Roz, I would have thought that the gentleman over there with the flannel shirt would have been more your type.
Roz: Him? Not a chance. See the way he's slurping his orange juice? Sloppy kisser! You can tell right away the guy's no good in bed. He's so cautious. Look at the way he's blowing on his coffee.
[Frasier and Roz turn to Niles who is blowing on his coffee]
Niles: I wasn't trying to cool it. I was simply blowing a foam hole.
Roz: You don't even wrinkle the sheets, do you?

Niles: Is it me or is the foam a tad dense today?
Frasier: Like a dreary fog on a Scottish moor.
Niles: Rather than accent it overwhelms. Rather than flirt it assaults.
Martin: Rather than watching the ballgame I have to listen to this.

Niles: The atmosphere has to be absolutely perfect.
Frasier: Good point. Let's begin with the lighting.
Niles: Warmer. [Frasier turns the switch slighty] Warmer. [Frasier turns again] A little cooler. [Frasier turns again] A touch warmer. [Frasier turns again] A hair back. [Frasier gives up and goes to the drinks cabinet] No, no, a hair the other way. No, a touch warmer. Perfect.
Frasier: Good.

Frasier: Niles, I thought you said you saw Houghton come in here.
Niles: Well, I'm sorry if my tracking skills aren't up to your standard. Perhaps instead of asking for a baby brother you should have asked for a German short-haired Pointer.
Frasier: I did.

Niles: I must tell him what an impact his book has made on my life.
Frasier: Niles, aren't you afraid it will sound just a bit unoriginal?
Niles: Why?
Frasier: Because I'm going to say it first.

Frasier: Niles! What fortuitous timing. Er, you know the wine shop just called a moment ago. It seems they're down to their last two cases of the '82 Chambolle-Musigny, so why don't you dash right down there and stack it all up?
Niles: Okay. Hold it! You know very well that in 1982 there was a drought in Bourgogne. The locals dubbed it "The Year of the Raisin." And that wine was never sold by the case, only by the bottle.

Frasier: Look, let's just say, for example, you came home one afternoon and I was sitting here discussing literature with... Oh, I don't know. Give me the name of a baseball player.
Martin: Darryl Strawberry.
Frasier: No, a real one.

Daphne: Shame on you! Going through someone else's personal property. Well, it's just plain wrong and I know your father wouldn't approve. Of course I wouldn't be here to tell him if I had the day off...
Frasier: Fine, go.
Daphne: Ooh, great! Of course, having a day off is pretty meaningless when you have no money to, you know,
maybe go to lunch or do some shopping, perhaps take in a show... [Frasier hands Daphne money as she heads to the door] Oh, thanks!

Frasier: Mr. Houghton, you know, there is one further thing I'd like to add about your book.
T.H. Houghton: Yeah?
Frasier: Well, it's the way you modulated into the second person narrative during the flashback scene. Frankly, it beggars anything Faulkner attempted.
T.H. Houghton: Really? That's very flattering.
Niles: Ooh. Oh, wait, I have one too. The way you so skillfully mirrored the structure of Dante's "Divine Comedy" was inspired.
T.H. Houghton: Really?
Frasier: Yes, yes. But the inferno of the bordello...
Niles: Which we noticed had exactly nine rooms.
Frasier: Uh-huh. To the purgatory of the assembly line and finally to the paradise of the farm.
T.H. Houghton: You both saw that?
Niles: Oh, it practically jumped off the page.
T.H. Houghton: Well, that's very perceptive of you.
Frasier: Well, thank you. I guess it's our turn to be flattered.
T.H. Houghton: You're absolutely right. This whole book is crap!

Roz: Frasier, don't forget your staff meeting tomorrow. It starts at... [Roz is distracted by an attractive man who sit down at a table opposite]
Frasier: Well, I certainly hope his tailor can fix the two holes you've just burned in his jacket.
Roz: They're not in his jacket.