Kenny: [on the phone] No, he'll make for a great profile: SeaBeas record holder, doctor, big ladies man, the whole ball of wax. Well, you can ask him yourself.
Frasier: [taking the phone] Hello? Yes, well, when would be a good time for you? Oh, I've just had the greatest idea: Why don't you interview me while we're at the SeaBee Awards? Yes, it will be a freewheeling chat against a glittering backdrop. Splendid! I will see you anon.
Kenny: [taking back the phone] Hey. No, he always talks like that.

Kenny: Hey, hey, hey, you better save some room. Stefano goes crazy if you pass on his dessert. My mother found out that the hard way on her eightieth birthday. He went off on her. He called her a "skoonja-boonja" or something. The kids had it memorized for a while. Well, enjoy.

Kenny: Where the hell's the doc?
Roz: He still isn't here.
Kenny: It's almost showtime. I swear to God, nobody here has any discipline. I'm starting to think, I've been too loose with the leash. I mean, gee whiz, I try to make everyone happy and all it gets me is a twisted gut. Well, no more. This Saturday, we're gonna have a staff meeting, we're gonna hash out some rules.
Roz: I'm busy Saturday.
Kenny: ... Well, it's not mandatory.

Kenny: Please, Roz.
Roz: No way!
Kenny: Come on. I wouldn't be asking you if it wasn't an emergency.
Frasier: Is everything OK?
Kenny: Yeah, fine, good, everything's good. I'm supposed to stop on the way home and pick up some new... underthings for my wife.
Frasier: So?
Kenny: So? Every time I'm in one of those places I start thinking about... You know... Man-and-wife stuff. I turn all red, I start to sweat, I hyperventilate. Try getting somebody to wait on you when you look like that.
Roz: Well, sorry, Kenny, but I am not going to Victoria's Secret for you.
Kenny: Victoria's Secret? Whoa, whoa, Rockefeller, I'm talking Kmart.

Niles: Frasier, I hate to burst your bubble, but that picture looks absolutely nothing like you.
Frasier: Well, well, I was wondering when Mr. Envy would pull up a chair. [Kenny passes by] Oh, Kenny. Kenny, if I may, can I direct your attention to this caricature?
Kenny: Wow, look at that. I am impressed.
Frasier: I thought you might be.
Kenny: James Garner eats here?

Kenny: Oh, I almost forgot. I got a call from the "Happy Dreams" tea people. They had a bunch of spots scheduled for the first hour and you forgot to read them.
Frasier: Actually, I didn't forget. I had a look at the copy, and, well, I couldn't read it.
Kenny: Oh, why not?
Frasier: Well, just listen to this here. "One cup of 'Happy Dreams' tea and you'll have happy dreams all night long." Well, the fact is that dreams are a bi-product of unresolved emotion. No tea can promise happy dreams.
Kenny: Oh yeah, I totally get it. Here's my problem. Our ad revenues are down and they're a major new sponsor. I just promised them that you'd read the ads this hour.
Frasier: Yes, but as a psychiatrist I can't. They're promising something that's impossible.
Kenny: Okay. Okay, now I understand. What if we just think of it more as a slogan?
Frasier: You see, but it's not a slogan. If I as a doctor read it, it sounds like medical advice.
Kenny: Okay, now, totally get it. So, instead of saying "This is Dr. Frasier Crane," just don't say doctor.
Frasier: Kenny, perhaps I'm not making myself clear here. Let's try this, I will never read this copy.
Kenny: Oh, this is the part of my job I really hate. You take a stand like that - and I totally respect it, by the way - you force my hand. That's our biggest sponsor. So unless you're willing to go on the air right now and read that ad, I have to fire you.

Frasier: Hello.
Kenny: Look, I know I must be the last person you want to see right now, but please listen. Since I fired you I haven't been able to eat or sleep.
Frasier: Kenny, it's only been and hour and a half.
Kenny: Well, I'm a napper.

Frasier: Hello, Kenny.
Kenny: So, what are you celebrating? Not your ratings, huh. I'm kidding, you've gotta kid. If you don't laugh, you cry, right?

Kenny: Okay, everyone, it's show time. The new station owner's on his way down. So look alive. Watch what you
say, watch what you don't say. Don't say too much, don't say too little. [wiping his brow] What the hell's this thermostat set at, anyway?

Roz: "Warm Bread for the Soul" by Dr. Mary.
Frasier: I see you're still identifying yourself as a doctor.
Mary: But now it's true. You read the inside cover.
Frasier: Oh? Dr. Mary has healed thousands of Seattle radio listeners and is a summa cum laude graduate of the School of Hard Knocks.
Mary: Yes.
Frasier: Mary, I hate to quibble about things like accreditation and such...
Kenny: [entering] Whoa, it's like the American Medical Association in here.