Niles Quote #1227
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Well, if it makes any difference, I've decided to tell Donny everything about Daphne.
Niles: Yes. Then he can proceed however he sees fit.
Frasier: But, why, Niles?
Niles: Well, I started to wonder, maybe my feelings for Daphne did affect my marriage. Maybe on some intuitive level Maris knew all along. I can't be certain that that's not what drove her to Schenkman.
Frasier: Listen to me. The only reason that marriage lasted as long as it did was because of the effort that you put into it. From the moment that you slipped that ring onto her bony little finger and it slipped right off again!
Quote from Niles
Donny: Yes, I think we now have what's known in the legal profession as a bargaining chip.
Niles: Oh, are you kidding? She'd give anything to keep this quiet.
Donny: All right, let me go talk to Maris's lawyers.
Niles: No, no, no. There's some news you want to deliver yourself. [picks up the phone] May I?
Niles: [on the phone] Hello, Marta, I'd like to speak to Maris. Oh, why not? Ah. [to Donny] She's in the final level of her guru serenity training, the week-long vow of silence, day six. [on the phone] No, no, Marta, that's all right. She doesn't have to come to the phone. Just give her this message. I've flushed out her family secret. Hel-looooo, Maris!
Quote from Frasier Grinch
Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.