Frasier: Oh, Sam, this is my brother, Dr. Niles Crane.
Niles: Pleasure to meet you. [shakes hands]
Sam: Oh, yeah, you too. Wow. Man, this is freaky. [to Frasier] He looks just like you did when I met you. What happened, huh?
Frasier: Wasn't exactly a health club you were running there, Sam.

Frasier: So, uh, how's everybody at Cheers?
Sam: Oh, wow. Uh, well, let's see. You know that Rebecca finally married that plumber?
Frasier: Yes, yes. It's ironic, isn't it? You know, she spends all her energy trying to land some rich guy and she ends up with an ordinary plumber.
Sam: Well, that ordinary plumber struck gold. He's got a patent on some low-flow toilet thing. I mean, he's rich beyond her wildest dreams.
Frasier: Well, heck, I'm happy for her.
Sam: Well, don't be. He dumped her. She's back at the bar.
Frasier: Working at Cheers again?
Sam: No, she's just back at the bar.

Sam: Hey, you know, here's some good news: Woody and Kelly, they had a baby boy.
Frasier: Oh, that is wonderful! Is he...?
Sam: No, he's smart. He's smart.
Frasier: Oh. Well, genetics takes a holiday, huh?

Niles: I remember my wedding day. Standing at the altar, feeling faint, shaky, sweating. I remember Maris was so distraught thinking I might have cold feet. I'll never forget how relieved she was to learn that it was just a congenital heart murmur that would plague me for the rest of my life.

Frasier: So, are Norm and Cliff still holding up the bar?
Sam: Uh, well, Norm is, but Cliff hasn't been in for a while. Evidently, he read this article about flesh-eating bacteria and he hasn't left his mom's house since. But, you know, there's a good side to that, though, 'cause a lot of people who haven't been around for a while are starting to come back to the bar.
Frasier: Oh!

Sheila: Whoa. Frasier, you've got to help me. You've got to talk to him.
[Frasier sits down on the couch, still reeling from the revelation]
Frasier: I slept with a woman who slept with Cliff?!

Martin: Well, as far as I'm concerned, Sam Malone's the most important person ever to set foot in this apartment.
Daphne: I don't understand this American obsession with sports figures. They're all so superficial.
Martin: Yeah, it's not like they do anything real important like sit on a throne or christen ships.

Frasier: I was in Boston for a long weekend. I was feeling a little depressed, so I took solace in the arms of a beautiful and remarkably welcoming young woman in a hotel bar.
Niles: And that was she?
Frasier: No, Niles. I told you that for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Of course it was she! Did you see the way
she ran out of here the minute she saw me?
Niles: Ah, yes. The trademark of all your bed mates.

Frasier: This is KACL Cash Call Week. $5,000 if you answer your phone with the phrase that pays. So when your
phone rings, don't say hello, say-
[Frasier looks up to see Sam Malone standing in the window]
Frasier: Well, blow me down! Uh, no, no, no. Just say, uh, KACL is, uh, the talk of the town- Talk of Seattle. Whatever. Bye-bye.

Roz: Whoa, who is this?
Sam: I'm Sam Malone. I was a buddy of Frasier's in Boston.
Frasier: This is Roz Doyle.
Roz: [to Frasier] So this is the Sam Malone you've always talked about? The one who has no respect for women and treats them like dirt? [to Sam] Need anyone to show you around Seattle?
Sam: Well, you know, to tell you the truth, I'm all right with the city, but I get real lost in my hotel room.