Niles: Have you noticed there are fewer hazlenuts in these biscotti?
Frasier: So I'm not crazy.
Niles: And yet they've gone up twenty-five cents.
Frasier: Oh, fewer nuts, more money. Something I've been aspiring to my entire professional life.

Frasier: Niles, was that Natalie Spencer I just saw you talking with?
Niles: As a matter of fact it was. I've been admiring her all evening, so I steeled myself and asked her if she might be free next week.
Frasier: And?
Niles: Well, her lips said "no" but her eyes said "read my lips."

Sherry: So, Leslie, what do you do?
Leslie: Oh, I'm a dermatologist.
Sherry: Good news, Frasier. If you get lucky tonight, she might just look at that rash of yours.
Frasier: Yep.

Roz: God, that's the last time I jog in these shorts. My thighs are chafing like a couple of hams wrapped in velcro! [to the waitress] Non-fat Mocha, please! [Roz sits down with Frasier and Niles]
Frasier: As flattered as we are that you've chosen our company over, say... a shower, perhaps you'd like to go to the ladies room to freshen up a little bit?
Roz: Hey, at least I try to keep in shape. I haven't seen one of you two run an eight minute mile.
Niles: Stand upwind of us and you might.

Niles: Whom should I expect to meet there?
Frasier: Professional people. Around our age.
Niles: Hmmm.
Frasier: A certain social standing...
Niles: Yes.
Frasier: Civic-minded, interested in the arts...
Niles: Oh for God's sake, how many women?
Frasier: Well, why didn't you say so?
Niles: Well, I thought my rutting monkey body language would have tipped you off.

Frasier: I came up with a rather ingenious plan to occupy their evening. I bought tickets to an event that's right up their aisle. I felt so mortified just buying the tickets, I paid cash so they couldn't trace it back to me.
[Martin and Sherry enter the coffeehouse]
Waitress: Excuse me, people. Did somebody leave some tickets back here?
Frasier: Oh, good Lord. Yes.
Waitress: Something called, "Nashville on Ice".
Frasier: Yes, right here.
Waitress: "The All-Skating Country Jamboree."
Frasier: Oh, don't look so smug. You try skating and blowing into a jug while your heart's breaking.

Frasier: As a rule, I'm terribly nervous about hosting these things, but it seems to be going rather well.
Niles: Not for me. I haven't made in-roads with a single woman here. Ooh, ooh. [Niles spots a woman across the room]
Frasier: What are you doing? You look nauseated.
Niles: That woman is flirting with me. This is my "I'm available" face.
Frasier: Well, stop it. My God, people'll think the shrimp is bad.

Frasier: Adair Peck, my brother, Dr Niles Crane.
Niles: Enchanted.
Adair: Hi. Are you feeling okay?
Niles: Bad shrimp.

Roz: Not bad.
Frasier: Not bad?! If I didn't know better, I'd say someone was a little jealous. After this weekend you may have to give up your dating crown.
Roz: I once had three dates on a single Saturday and still had time to defrost my refrigerator and rotate my tires.
Frasier: It's a wonder you could rotate anything after that.

Daphne: [on the phone, in an American accent:] Hi, is this Johnny's Steakhouse? Yeah, I'd like a table for two at eight o'clock. Sure, no problem, I'll hold.
Frasier: What the hell are you doing?
Daphne: [American accent] Just making dinner reservations.
Frasier: Not that. The voice.
Daphne: [...] I'm trying my American.
Frasier: You're certainly trying this American!