Roz: You are amazing!
Frasier: Is there nothing you won't stoop to?
Bebe: I had no idea who I was speaking to! [to Vera:] How dare you impersonate my niece! I've had enough of your cruel jokes. You're fired, mother!

Frasier: Listen, there's something I need to confess to you. Now, as much as I hoped that you would get the job, there was a very small part of me - and a very selfish part - that hoped you wouldn't.
Roz: Oh, that's not bad. That's really kinda sweet.
Frasier: Oh, I'm glad you feel that way. Because I happened to mention those feelings to Bebe.
Roz: Bebe? You told Bebe?
Frasier: Just in passing.
Roz: Oh, great. She torpedoed me, didn't she?
Frasier: Yes. She told Doug that I'd quit if you got the job.
Roz: I don't believe this.
Frasier: Well, I'm glad to see that you're as mad at her as I am.
Roz: I'm mad at you!
Frasier: Me?
Roz: How could you have done that?
Frasier: Well, it was just an offhand remark, how was I to know how she'd react?
Roz: She's Bebe! If you had said you liked my eyes, they would have been on your desk tomorrow in a Tiffany box.

Bebe: How about you, you want an agent?
Frasier: Oh pu-leeze!
Roz: You mean it?
Frasier: Roz!
Roz: I've never had an agent. It's not like she worships the Devil.
Frasier: Well, she doesn't have to! He worships her!

Bebe: I said that Frasier Crane wasn't about to work for a station that would steal his producer away. A bluff, of course, but he crumbled like a matzo.
Frasier: Oh, how could you?! I told you that I'd hate to lose Roz, but I didn't mean for you to sabotage her.
Bebe: You didn't? Oh no, what a horrible misunderstanding. Wink!
Frasier: I mean it.
Bebe: Oh, I see. So when you said in that off-handed way that you hoped Roz wouldn't get the job, I totally misinterpreted you. Wink!
Frasier: Will you stop winking.

Bebe: I just want to say...
Frasier: No, stop it! Not one more crooked word! Your tongue could open a wine bottle!

Roz: You're absolutely right, Frasier. Forget it, Bebe. No way.
Bebe: That voice. I could listen to it all day. It's pure, yet smoldering, like a nun with a past.
Roz: You think so?
Frasier: No, Roz, don't look her in the eye.
Bebe: I could triple your salary. Voice-overs, commercials...
Frasier: Roz, listen to me, for God's sake. If you've got the tiniest shred of sense or dignity left, remember what this woman did to you this afternoon and renounce her. She has no scruples, no ethics, and no reflection!

Bebe: [answering the phone:] I told you, no calls. What about my sister? [to Frasier and Roz:] One second. [on the phone:] Did the air bag deploy? Look, I'm gonna to have to call you back. Frasier's here, and my
clients come first! [sobbing] Sorry, you were saying?
Frasier: Since the moment we met you have shown yourself to be ruthless and untrustworthy. As these are qualities I do not wish to have associated with my name, I think it's best we simply part-
[The phone rings again. Bebe places it on speakerphone]
Bebe: What did I say about calls?!
Girl: [sobbing] Auntie Bebe?
Bebe: Oh, Suzy. Sorry to hear about your mummy's accident.
Girl: I'm frightened, Auntie Bebe.
Bebe: Don't be, little one.
Girl: If mummy goes to heaven, will you take care of me?
Bebe: Of course, my little lamb. Assuming that I have the resources.
Frasier: Bebe, you know I can't help noticing that none of your outside lines are lit up.
Bebe: [crying:] The bulbs are broken! [on the phone] Auntie has to go. I'm with a client and you know what we say about clients.
[Frasier opens Bebe's office door to reveal Vera, Bebe's assistant, on the phone]
Vera: They always come first.

Frasier: As of now, Frasier Crane has resigned from your coven.
Bebe: Oh, that's it, is it? I'm not virtuous enough for you. Not noble? Fine, quit! Next time you need a deal
made, call the Dalai Lama. A long time ago, I had to make a choice between being a good agent and a good person, because trust me, you can't be both. So forgive me if I don't have time to make everybody warm and fuzzy. I am just too busy spending every waking minute pouring any drink, pulling any shameless tricks I can to make my clients' dreams come true. I am a star maker! And if you can't appreciate that, there are plenty that can!

Roz: Oh, that was fun, I got to watch Brenda sign her new contract.
Bebe: Roz, I think what they did to you is monstrous. I wish I could stay here and console you, but my people are waiting for me in the van. I hope someone cracked a window.

Niles: As you know, ever since I moved into the Montana I've been angling to meet our most famous tenant: Esme Bing, the Walnut Queen. Well, I finally cornered her in the ornamental garden, by the wishing well, and I felt very pleased with myself. That is, until the Walnut Queen invited me to a ball. Now I have a problem.
Frasier: Yes, your life has become an operetta.
Niles: No. It's a charity ball. And when I say invited, I mean she let me buy a table for ten at five thousand dollars. I have until Sunday to sell eight five hundred dollar tickets.
Frasier: Say no more. It's a bit steep, but if it's for charity...
Niles: Thank you, Frasier. It is a very worthy cause.
Frasier: Well, who should I make this out to?
Niles: The Esmeralda Bing International ... Doll Museum.
Frasier: You do have a problem.
Niles: I thought you prided yourself on supporting the arts.
Frasier: The arts, Niles. Not the crafts!