Bebe: Sign right here, darling.
Frasier: You know, I'm holding you to that promise about changing. I won't stand for any more shady doings.
Bebe: Those days are all behind me.
Frasier: Once you've worked out this thing with the Hammer, maybe you can see what you can do about defusing this bird situation.
Ben: Oh, you don't have to worry about the crane anymore. The poor thing choked to death this morning. They have no idea who would feed a bird a jawbreaker. Bye, now.
[After Ben leaves, Frasier slowly turns to Bebe]
Frasier: Is there any chance it wasn't you?
Bebe: Oh, darling. There's always a chance.

Frasier: You signed with Bebe?
Roz: Okay, I know, I should've told you, I just wasn't in the mood for one of your lectures.
Frasier: I'm not going to give you a lecture. You're entitled to choose whoever you wish to represent you. Someone who's honest, or a woman whose ethics would've raised eyebrows in the court of Caligula!

Bebe: You know, Mr. Integrity, word on the street is you still haven't hired anyone to negotiate this big deal for you. Could it be because in your heart you know you want to come back to me?
Frasier: Yes, well if I'm taking my time it's because I'm determined to make the right choice.
Roz: Well, you're gonna need somebody good.
Frasier: That's exactly what I intend to find, someone good. I'm going to prove to both of you it's possible to find an agent who can drive a hard bargain and yet maintain the highest ethical standards.
Bebe: Happy hunting. If things don't work out, you know my number.
Frasier: Still 666, is it?

Bebe: Frasier, we have to talk.
Frasier: Are you aware that you are in the men's room?
Bebe: Oh, please, if I paid attention to signs with little pictures on them, I'd never get a parking space.

Bebe: Now, it's time we both dropped the masks. You need me, and I want you back. Just sign this contract. I'll cut you a deal that'll make Roz's look like lunch money.
Frasier: Isn't there a zebra carcass somewhere you should be hovering over?
Bebe: You wanna see a carcass, chum? Look in the mirror. Look what you've let that man do to you. Your face is riddled with bird bites, your name's a punchline, and your career is five minutes from over, and he's only been your agent for three days. Send him in against the Hammer and you'll be doing fog reports from a lighthouse in Puget Sound.

Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry. Ben had no idea that bird was going to attack you. Besides, there is a school of thought that says there's no such thing as bad publicity.
[As Frasier opens the door, Niles is laughing wickedly]
Niles: Frasier, I was just hearing about you on the car radio. The DJ was offering a cash prize for the best Frasier Crane joke. Wait, what was the front-runner? Oh, yes, how can you tell Frasier the Crane's a psychiatrist?
Frasier: I can't wait to hear.
Niles: He ignores what you say then sticks you with a large bill.

Niles: You must excuse my jolly mood, but Maris was over tonight for our weekly conjugal visit.
Martin: Eeww, Jeez.
Niles: I've never seen her look so seductive. She wore a clingy gown, crimson lipstick, even earrings, which she tends to avoid as they make her head droop. She pulled me down upon the bed and began playing my spine like a zither. And then, just as things were heating up, she renewed her request that I dismiss Doctor Wilfong. So tremulous with desire was I that I almost relented, but then I remembered your advice, Frasier, and I said I wouldn't fire the good doctor. At which point Maris told me I wouldn't be firing anything else in the foreseeable future! And she left!

Frasier: Gil. How'd it go with the Hammer?
Gil: You've never seen such cold, dead eyes. It was like bargaining with Nosferatu. My salary's been slashed.

Gil: I wish you good luck, Frasier. I don't see anybody squeezing blood from that stone.
Bebe: Lattes for everyone!
Gil: Dear God, don't tell me you did well.
Roz: I got a weekly spot on Clint Weber's show and a thirty percent raise.
Gil: How on earth did you get all that?
Bebe: Oh, we go way back, the Hammer and I. I know where the bodies are buried. ... Usually, that's just a metaphor.

Bebe: Admit it. You're scared.
Frasier: All right, maybe I am scared. But there is one thing that is stronger than fear. Faith. Faith that a good man with a good heart can make a good deal. Now get out of my way.
Bebe: No, I won't let you. Do you know what I've been through building your career? I have been to hell and back so often, I have frequent flier miles. You owe me a second chance.
Frasier: Take your tentacles off of me!