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The Unkindest Cut of All

‘The Unkindest Cut of All’

Season 2, Episode 2 -  Aired September 27, 1994

Frasier falls out with his father when Martin is reluctant to get Eddie neutered.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: To the park!
Martin: This time we'll comb every inch of that place. Every tree, every bush. Uh, Daphne, we're gonna need more help, so call Niles and tell him we'll pick him up.
Frasier: Oh, yes, wouldn't want to go out in the wild without one of the world's great outdoorsmen!


Quote from Martin

Martin: What the hell are you doing?
Daphne: Ironing your son's socks.
Martin: Why don't you just twist them into little balls like you do mine?
Daphne: He says it bruises the cashmere. He likes them pressed, folded, then neatly arranged in those sock dividers. I saw them in a catalog once, but couldn't imagine who in the world would ever buy such silly things. Of course, I hadn't met Dr. Crane yet.
Martin: I used to think there'd been some sort of mix-up at the hospital. Of course, when Niles came along it shot that theory all to hell.

Quote from Daphne

Daphne: Oh, this is odd. I just got one of my psychic flashes. It's about Eddie.
Martin: Well?
Daphne: It doesn't make any sense. All I'm getting is a picture of Eddie sitting with Dr. Crane.
[cut to Eddie sitting on a bench with an advertising board for Frasier's radio show]

Quote from Niles

Niles: Oh, dear God, he's licking me!
Frasier: Eddie, just stop. Oh, Niles, you have liver behind your ears.
Niles: I imagine I must have picked up a cracker and inadvertently scratched behind my ear.
Frasier: So you're telling me that you had a wad of cold meat behind your ears and didn't feel it?
Niles: That's the story I'm sticking with, yes.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Dad. Dad, I expect an explanation. All this time I thought Eddie had been fixed.
Martin: All you had to do was look.
Frasier: Well, I am glad to say I've never been that bored.

Quote from Frasier

Daphne: I think I found the perfect name for this one-
Frasier: Stop! Dogs only need names if you are planning to call them to you, which we are not. Oh, now listen you, you get right back in there, you mangy little thing. Oh, my God. All right, all right. Now, I've got to run down to the radio station, but believe me we are going to be having a discussion about this when I get-
Martin: Oh, relax, Frasier. I'll have Eddie taken care of tomorrow.
Frasier: Yes, well you better. Now, Daphne, give me that box, please.
Daphne: Where are you taking the puppies?
Frasier: To see if I can unload some of them down at the station.
Daphne: Oh, look, couldn't we just keep them for a while?
Frasier: No. No. We don't want them taking after their father. It may be too late already. Oh, for God's sake, stop staring at me!

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Hello, Roz, don't you look lovely.
Roz: I know what's in the box, and I don't want one.
Frasier: But I didn't say anything!
Roz: Betty from Accounting called to warn me. Where did you find them, anyway?
Frasier: In my living room. These are Eddie's mongrel seed.

Quote from Roz

Frasier: You know, Roz, it's entirely possible that there's a dog lover inside of you that's just dying to get out. Don't you think so? Come on, come on, just, just take a look, just have a look, let's have a look.
Roz: Ooh, he's adorable! Oh, come here little fella. Oh, aren't you the cutest little thing? Oh, oh, oh, yeah, give me a little kiss. Ooh, I love you too! [Hands the puppy back to Frasier with a blank expression] There, happy now?
Frasier: Roz! How can you just toss him aside after such a tender display of affection?
Roz: I can do it with men, too.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Where are the Thomases? Why is that dog still here?
Daphne: I'm sorry, Dr. Crane, but they struck me as unfit guardians.
Frasier: For God's sake, he works at the zoo! She's a nurse, Billy's an altar boy and Kathy is a Camp-Fire Girl!
Daphne: They had a dark aura.
Frasier: They had a ten-acre farm! If they'd have taken me, I'd have gone with them!

Quote from Martin

Daphne: Oh, come on, now. You've done enough. Why don't you just sit still and drink your tea?
Martin: I hate tea!
Daphne: Humor me. In an emergency, it's all I know how to do.
Martin: That's a real comfort coming from a health care provider.

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