[The doorbell rings]
Niles: Shouldn't you get the door?
Martin: You're closer.
Niles: I don't live here.
Martin: Doesn't matter, you're family.
Niles: So is Daphne...
Daphne: Oh, no you don't!
Lilith: [from behind the door] Maybe if you slid me a key, I could let myself in.

Daphne: You slept awfully late.
Frasier: Mmm. Yeah, oh well, I was having the most distressing dream. I was climbing up a volcano that was spewing ice instead of lava.
Daphne: An ice volcano. Wonder what that could mean.
Frasier: Oh, what's this? [presses the play button on his answering machine]
Lilith: [on machine] Hello, it's Lilith.
Frasier: Oh!

Daphne: Oh, forget about lunch. I'm just going to make a sandwich.
Niles: Oh, no. Hey, what about me?
Daphne: Oh, have a banana.
[Daphne throws Niles a banana. He fumbles trying to catch it, knocking the shoe box off the dining table. A gun shot ricochets around the apartment.]
Daphne: My God, what was that?!
Niles: I think the banana went off.

Lilith: We're supposed to be having breakfast, but you're not here. And as I don't know if you're tardy, or have been in a terrible accident, I'm unable to commit to an appropriate emotional response. Please call me. Thank you.

Martin: If Frasier sees this, I'll never hear the end of it. You guys have got to help me fix things up before he gets home.
Daphne: Forget it, old man. You're on your own.
Martin: Oh, yeah? Well, if he kicks me out over this, I'm moving in with you.
Daphne: All right, what's the plan?

Lilith: Well, if I was to guess the gender, and I'm usually right about half the time... I'm being humorous, of course.

Martin: I don't understand this. I thought the safety was on.
Niles: Oh, my God! It blew a hole through Frasier's chair!
Martin: And it shot the head off the statue!
Niles: Look what it did to the fireplace!
Martin: Oh no, Frasier's going to kill me!
Daphne: This is why I've been telling you to put the bloody thing in storage!
Martin: Niles was the one who knocked it off the table!
Niles: Well, accidentally, because I had a banana thrown at me!
Daphne: To you, not at you! And you should know how to catch a banana!
Niles: I am not having this argument again!

Lilith: Frasier can't make it.
Martin: Oh, well, if you still want lunch, I got leftover meatloaf that's today or never.
Lilith: Thank you, but I'll get something at the conference. There's a bulimia talk today, and I'll wager that's one lecture hall with a snack machine outside.

Lilith: So, care for a drink?
Frasier: Not if I'm keeping you from something.
Lilith: Well, actually, I do have a date this evening.
Frasier: Oh, really?
Lilith: Yes. A colleague of mine fixed me up. I'm sorry for dragging you over here when I have so little time to give you.
Frasier: Not at all. Actually, I'm running late for a date myself.
Lilith: I see. Well, why don't you run along? I wouldn't want you to keep Niles waiting.

Frasier: Freddy tells me he dissected a frog.
Lilith: Yes, and a fetal pig. Of course, I made him do his homework first.