Martin: Hey, Fras, you look a little down. Everything okay? Uh, two coffees, please.
Frasier: Dad, if you had any perspicacity whatsoever, you would know that this expression is merely ruminative perplexity.
Martin: My bad.

Kenny: Another great show, doc.
Frasier: Did you even listen?
Kenny: You don't have to eat every Big Mac to know it's a delicious hamburger sandwich.

Julia: Well, Roz, Kenny told me about your job interview. Good luck.
Roz: Oh, I get it. It'll be good luck because if I get the job, I'll be gone.
Julia: No, it sounds like a good position for you.
Roz: Right, cause I get into a lot of sexual positions with a lot of guys.
Julia: I'm saying congratulations.
Roz: Oh. Thank you. [to Frasier] What's her problem?

Frasier: Hi, Daph.
Daphne: Hello.
Frasier: Gosh, I've never seen this place so crowded. What's the occasion?
Daphne: It's Mum's day off. Apparently, there was a mass e-mail.

Frasier: So, is Niles going to be joining us?
Daphne: No, he's taking your father to the shooting range.
Frasier: Oh, yes, yes, of course, I'd forgotten. He asked me to take him, but then I suggested that when it comes to guns, perhaps he would prefer someone of Niles's... caliber. [chuckles] Oh, I'm in rare form today.
Daphne: You should see this place when they know you're not coming.

Roz: Well, it doesn't look like I'll be leaving KACL anytime soon. Coffee to go, please?
Frasier: Well, dear lord, what- What happened, Roz?
Roz: Turns out the person who's interviewing me is a guy I've slept with.
Frasier: What are the odds?

Niles: My shooting's getting better and better. Oh, plus the gun show's in town and the guys are bringing me passes.
Frasier: A gun show? What's next, square dancing?
Niles: Maybe. This country was built by gun-toting square dancers.

Roz: So, I really appreciate you bringing me in for this interview. I've been listening to your station for a while, and I've prepared a little presentation that I think will show you what I can bring to the KPXY family.
Woody: Oh, that's not necessary. I mean, this is just a formality. Trust me, I know what you can do.
Roz: Really?
Woody: Yeah. I, uh, I already told the guys about you.
Roz: What exactly did you tell them?
Woody: Oh, you know, how incredible you are.
Roz: Okay, look, I-I think there's something that needs to be said here. Why don't we just get it all out in the open? Yes, we slept together in Cancun, but I don't want that to affect the job. I mean, it was ten years ago, I-
Woody: What are you talking about? Look, I think you have me mistaken for someone else.
Roz: And I think I would remember a name like Woody Wiswell. I mean, seriously, whose named Woody Wiswell?
Woody: Yeah, well, just me and my dad.

Daphne: Darling, I just don't think you need an ankle holster when you don't even own a gun.
Niles: Well, first of all, who says it's for me, Miss I-Never-Surprise-You-Anymore? And second of all, I'm thinking I might own a gun soon.
Daphne: No, you won't.
Niles: No, no, no, don't worry. I- I would keep the gun in a locker at the shooting range. I would never have a gun in the same house as your mother.

Martin: Yeah, these are not your kind of guys.
Niles: Why not?
Martin: Well, let's just go and we'll talk about it in the car.
Niles: Oh, I can't believe you two. You're always telling me my friends are too artsy and too snooty. Now I finally have friends who are regular guys, and you don't like them either? Well, I'm having a good time, and I'm enjoying being a regular guy myself.
Martin: Niles, we think they want to overthrow the government.
Niles: That's what you say about public television.