Frasier: I don't remember you having any complaints when we were in bed. I seem to recall hearing the term "stallion-like"!
Roz: I never said that.
Frasier: Well, one of us did.

Roz: It's about my new job. It's a nightmare.
Niles: Didn't you just start today?
Roz: Yes. My boss already hit on me, I'm supposed to work nights and weekends, and my assistant is an idiot and I can't fire her 'cause she's, like, three minorities rolled into one.

Roz: Niles, I need to talk to you. You're not with Frasier, are you?
Niles: Why does everybody treat us like we're joined at the hip? I do have coffee with other people other than my brother, you know.
Roz: Good. 'cause I'm avoiding him.
Niles: Oh, then talk fast. He's meeting me in five minutes.

Niles: Listen, this isn't an easy subject to broach, but is it possible you're in love with Frasier?
Roz: Absolutely not.
Niles: You sound sure.
Roz: I am sure. I mean, if I were going to fall for him it would have been two years ago when we slept together.
Niles: Well then, another theory I'd like to explore is... Whoa, back up! You and Frasier slept together?
Roz: He didn't tell you?
Niles: No! Well, I suppose it's only natural. When the wolf and the lamb work together, it's only a matter of time before the wolf gets his way. I hope you were gentle with him.

Daphne: I took the test today, I'm ovulating.
Niles: Oh... well, in that case, the last one upstairs.
[Daphne follows Niles as he rushes upstairs
Niles: Uh, Daph, this isn't the ovulation kit. It's the pregnancy test.
Daphne: Oh, silly me. They look so much ali-
Niles: We're pregnant.
Daphne: Oh, my God, we are, aren't we?
Niles: But my slow sperm.
Daphne: I must have fast eggs.

Roz: Just promise you won't tell him I told you.
Niles: I promise, I promise. So, you're not in love. But your behavior last night clearly indicates some sort of crisis. As a psychiatrist...
Roz: I just want my job back. I'm not looking for some big therapy trip.
Niles: All right. Well, why don't you just sweep your emotions under the rug and waltz back to the station as if nothing ever happened.
Roz: That's perfect! Thanks. [gets up]
Niles: No, no. I was being facetious. My real advice would be...
Roz: I know. Talk about my feelings. Blah, blah, woof, woof. I gotta go, Niles. Thanks again.

Daphne: Well, we're all set. I got us a home pregnancy test, a basal body thermometer and ovulation kit.
Niles: Oh, that's perfect. I can upload all your data into this fertility program I bought.
Martin: You kids sure know how to keep the romance alive.

Frasier: What's this? Are you pregnant?
Daphne: Not yet, but we're trying.
Frasier: Oh, well, congratulations. You've got all the fertility software and so forth?
Niles: Of course. We're not animals.

Niles: I sold my "s" to earn some money so I could buy Dad a Christmas present.
Martin: Which present?
Niles: The fishing pole.
Martin: You bought that with "s" money?
Daphne: Why didn't you tell me?
Niles: Oh, it was such a long time ago it completely slipped my mind. You're not really upset, are you?
Martin: Well, of course I am! That was my favorite pole.

Daphne: I just thought this would be the first child for both of us. You could be a daddy already. There could be dozens of little Niles Cranes running around. He could be your son. Or him.
Niles: Oh, please, they look nothing like me. Besides, I only went down there one time. It's possible they never used my sample.
[An extremely handsome blonde-haired man with an incredible physique comes over to the table]
Man: Can I borrow your sugar?
Daphne: Yeah.
Niles: [watching the man walk away] I better look into this.