‘And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (Part 1)’
Season 8, Episode 1 - Aired October 24, 2000
Daphne and Niles must choose whether to run away together or go back and face Donny and Mel.
Quote from Simon
Martin: Simon, how about a little breakfast?
Simon: Oh, no thanks, Marty. I've already had a lovely crispy golden waffle and a foamy cappuccino down in the Winnebago.
Martin: The Winnebago? That doesn't have a waffle iron or a cappuccino maker.
Daphne: Wait a minute. These gifts look like they've been unwrapped and then wrapped again. Simon!
Simon: You know what that is, Daphne? That's a bread maker, which you did not register for. Some people are so bloody thoughtless.
Daphne: That's stealing. These gifts are going back.
Simon: Never! Returning used merchandise is unethical. And I for one will never be party to it.
Quote from Niles
Niles: Here we are, the end of the driveway. Which way shall we go?
Daphne: Well, to the right is Seattle, and to the left, I guess, is Canada.
Niles: Any thoughts?
Daphne: Well, what's left for us in Seattle? Ex-wives, an ex-fiancé, a tangled mess of bitterness and hurt feelings.
Niles: Yes, but an excellent symphony and world-class dining.
Daphne: Then there's Canada, a fresh start, a chance for adventure.
Niles: Grizzly bears.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Excuse me. [answering his cell phone]
Daphne: Poor Donny. He must be devastated. I'll never forgive myself for that. Maybe I should go and see him.
Frasier: I wouldn't, Daph. You know, Donny and Mel have suffered a terrible blow. They'll need space and time to lick their wounds. Believe me, in the emotional state they're in, the last thing they'll want is to speak with either of you.
Niles: [on the phone] Hold on. Frasier, could you hold it down? It's Mel.
Frasier: That woman never misses an opportunity to show me up.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: But what I'm trying to say is if you feel the urge to yell at someone, well then yell at me. If you want to take a swing at someone, then here's my chin. [Donny jumps up] Are you going to hit me?
Donny: Oh, yeah. I'm gonna hit you. I'm gonna hit you with tortious interference and intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress. In layman's terms: I'm gonna sue your ass off!
Frasier: Me? But Daphne's the one who left you at the altar.
Quote from Simon
Niles: So... returning wedding presents, I take it. That's one problem Mel and I avoided by eloping. No presents to return when, uh... when, uh...
Simon: When you shag someone else's wife?
Daphne: Simon!
Quote from Daphne
Niles: I can't believe this.
Daphne: Neither can I.
Niles: What made you change your mind?
Daphne: My little niece, Audrey, the flower girl. She looked up at me and said "You're the saddest bride I've ever seen." I figured who was I kidding if I couldn't fool a four-year-old with an eye patch?
Niles: Remind me to give her a car for her preschool graduation.
Quote from Niles
Daphne: I've never done anything this crazy. Are you nervous?
Niles: Only that I'm gonna wake up.
Quote from Niles
[Niles' cell phone rings for the third time]
Daphne: They're not going away, are they?
Niles: If you want to keep going, I'll go.
Daphne: No. We better go back and face the music. We should make things right.
Niles: Okay. [answering his phone] All right. All right, we're on our way back. Excuse me? ... No, there is no Wendel Fong here.
Quote from Niles
Martin: Anyone try those little crab cakes? ... What? They were good.
Frasier: All right, Dad. We just had front row seats for what is arguably the most disastrous wedding in history. Can't just ignore it with a lot of inane chit chat.
Niles: Did you try that mustard dip that went with them? It was good.
Frasier: Niles?
Niles: Frankly, I prefer a little inane chit chat to talking about what actually happened back there.
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: Poor Donny. I've never seen him so upset. I just wish I'd broken the news to him in a carpeted room instead of the rock garden.