‘The Babysitter’
Season 11, Episode 4 - Aired October 7, 2003
Frasier runs into his childhood babysitter, but it turns out she has eyes for Martin.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Martin: I was working my magic on her. Why are you so upset?
Frasier: Because I'm working a little magic of my own. And your magic is mucking up my magic!
Martin: Well, I thought you brought her here for me.
Frasier: Since when do I bring you women?! What are you, the Sultan of Brunei?
Quote from Ronee
Ronee: Yeah, I had a couple of shots at the big time, you know, sang in some swankier rooms, I even made an album, "Ronee Lawrence: Mood Swings". It sold about seven copies and that's when Ronee Lawrence had herself a real mood swing.
Quote from Ronee
Martin: So, Ronee, I bet you really wow them at the Rendezvous.
Ronee: Well, you know, it's not exactly Carnegie Hall. Most of them are half in the bag and just trying not to spill their drinks. And I'm just talking about the cocktail waitresses.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: Oh, my God.
Niles: What is it?
Frasier: It's Viagra!
Niles: They give that away with Velveeta?
Frasier: No. It's a prescription for Martin Crane. Why do you suppose he would put it in here?
Niles: Hiding it, I assume. What better place than a box Pandora herself would be loathe to open?
Quote from Niles
Frasier: I just didn't want Ronee to think I was coming on too strong. I was hoping this reunion might start a countdown toward a future liftoff from Cape Crane-averal.
Niles: If you tortured that metaphor anymore, you'd be before a tribunal in the Hague.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: How could I have missed something so obvious?
Frasier: Well, it's not so hard to believe. You were fifteen before you discovered there was a correlation between being beaten up every day and going to school in a Panama hat.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: My God! That's Ronee Lawrence.
Niles: Who?
Frasier: She used to baby-sit for us. Oh my God, I had a crush on her. She's the first girl to ever break my heart. I used to watch her through the banister, making out with her boyfriend. Chad.
Niles: Ronee Lawrence! She's the fiend who told me all those ghastly bed time stories about tiny insects that would crawl into my ears and eat my brains. Earwigs. I- I wore a football helmet to bed for a month that year!
Frasier: Yes, I know, you really had Dad's hopes up there for a while.
Quote from Ronee
Niles: Oh, well, it's all terribly true.
Frasier: You look fantastic.
Ronee: Oh, well, it's a lot of work.
Frasier: Of course it is. You know, exercise, dieting and all...
Ronee: No, I've had a lot of work.
Frasier: Oh.
Ronee: Every time something sags, drags or bags, I get Dr. Goldman right on top of it. And then I call a plastic surgeon. [laughs]
Quote from Ronee
Frasier: So, what have you been up to?
Ronee: I sing and play the piano down at the Wellington Hotel.
Frasier: Oh, great, great.
Ronee: Of course, I know what you do, mister big-time radio shrink.
Frasier: Oh, well, actually I'm getting back into private practice as well. In fact, we're here today picking out a couch for my new offices. I saw you checking out the Barcaloungers. Are you buying a chair for your husband?
Ronee: Only if it's wired for electricity. We're divorced.
Quote from Daphne
Frasier: I can't believe the way you are humiliating yourself. A man your age.
Martin: Hey, she was flirting with me.
Frasier: She was flirting with me. You just got caught in the crossfire.
Martin: Daphne, you saw it. Which one of us was she attracted to?
Daphne: How stupid do you think I am? Does it say "Stupid" on me forehead?