[After the doorbell rings, Frasier opens the door to Daphne, who struggles to drag Eddie into the apartment]
Daphne: Come on, Eddie. Come on.
Frasier: What's the matter?
Daphne: He was perfectly fine until a block from here. Then he started whining and trembling, like he senses an earthquake or a dark force or - Hello, Lilith - a vortex of evil.

Lilith: I was talking to a friend that works at the New York Times Magazine about raising a child after divorce and she pointed out that as a psychiatrist, I might have a unique perspective.
Frederick: You know, since it's about me, shouldn't I get something for it?
Lilith: You're not getting a minibike.
Frederick: But Mom!
Lilith: We have talked about this. You can get one when you are fifteen.
Frederick: But all my friends have minibikes.
Lilith: Yes, and if all of your friends decided to enter a Level Four biohazard area without their environmental containment suits, would you do that, too?

Lilith: Did you wash your hands, Frederick?
Frederick: Yeah. Uncle Niles even showed me how to open the door with my elbow so I don't need to touch the handle.
Niles: What are uncles for?

Frasier: Hello. Oh, gosh, you know, I was starting to get worried about you. You're an hour late.
Frederick: We saw a big accident on the freeway. Mom saved this guy's life.
Frasier: Really?
Lilith: Well, that's going a bit far. I simply applied a tourniquet.
Frederick: She's a hero.
Frasier: Yes, that's your mother all right, son.
Frederick: Then the paramedics came and wanted to give mom a transfusion.
Frasier: Yes, that's your mother all right, son.

Niles: Well, how would you have us behave?
Frasier: Well, why don't you try going back to your former relationship?
Lilith: All we did was insult each other.
Frasier: Yes. You're willing to throw all that away just because of one ill-considered night of passion? It happened. Take from it what you can learn. Move on.
Niles: Well, I learned if you kiss her too fast you get an ice-cream headache.
Lilith: You also learned that I have twice your upper body strength, so shut your pie hole!

Lilith: If you don't mind, I'd like to use the phone and call my colleague and tell him I'll be late.
Frasier: Yes, of course. Who is this colleague anyway?
Lilith: He's the man who supplies me with lab rats. It's about time we got together socially. I've known him for over fifty-two generations.

Martin: Oh, uh, excuse me again. I just came back to get an umbrella in case it rains. But I hope it doesn't, because Eddie's just dying to play this new game I taught him. I take off his leash and I say, "Run for your life!" That's exactly what I say, "Run for your life!"
Frasier: Thank you, Dad.
Martin: Okay. Run for your life!

Roz: So when is Frederick coming anyway?
Frasier: Well, Lilith is dropping him off around noon and then she's off to visit a colleague for Thanksgiving in Vancouver. You know, come to think of it, do they even celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada?
Roz: They will when she leaves.

Frasier: What happened?
Lilith: Peter's come down with something. He thinks he caught it from the rats.
Frasier: Oh, now. Nobody ever got anything from a rat that wasn't resolved in a day or two, off you go.

Martin: Is the witch gone yet?
Frasier: Lilith's still here, Dad.
Martin: Oh, in that case, I'll ask you too. Lilith, has my twitch gone yet? [twitches] I had some very strong coffee this morning and...
Lilith: Skillfully done, Martin.