Daphne: Excuse me, not to interrupt, but six months ago you borrowed forty dollars from me. We were at the wine shop, remember? You couldn't quite scrape together enough for a bottle of your precious Chateau Mr. Fussy-Pants? So I lent you the money. And have I said a peep about it since? No! I just sit here quietly reusing my tea bags while you trundle off to your private clubs ordering gourmet this and imported that. "Are the cigars Cuban?" "Are the Tulips Dutch?" "Oh, good news, my personal shopper just found a dozen antique pudding plates." Who has twelve people over for pudding?! So you gave poor Roz a bit of money. It hasn't changed your life, has it, you sherry-swilling, foie gras-munching hypocrite?
Frasier: Daphne? I did repay you.
Daphne: What?
Frasier: I paid for that parking ticket. Fifty dollars as I recall. It means you owe me ten.
Daphne: Oh, right. Well, I'm glad you said something. It's not good to let these things fester.

Frasier: Well, Roz has been a little cash poor lately. In fact, I gave her a loan myself this morning. Then she heads down to the Trianon. You know, I have half a mind to have a word with her about it.
Martin: Uh, bad idea. You loaned her that money, it's hers now. It's not yours and it's none of your business what she does with it.
Frasier: That's exactly what I told her. Still...
Martin: Now, trust me. More friendships have been ruined because of something like this. Smartest thing you can do is never bring it up.
Frasier: I'm aware of that, Dad. It's just she must have gone straight from the cafe down to the spa. Don't you think that's odd?
Martin: Well, not when you stack it up against a man who uses neck cream.

Niles: Before you mock this product, you might recall you went to that spa.
Martin: What?
Niles: Don't you remember? Two years ago. For your birthday I gave you that special gift certificate for you and Sherry to have a day of indulgence. You told me you used it.
Martin: Oh, yeah. Right.
Frasier: Remind us, Dad, what treatments did you have?
Martin: Oh, we did the whole shooting match. First, they rubbed us all over, and then they uh, they washed us down with this liniment oil, and then they hit us with those hickory sticks.
Frasier: For God's sake, you've heard us talk about it enough, you'd think you'd be able to bluff a little better than that.
Martin: You'd be surprised at what I don't listen to.

Niles: See you later, Dad. Great day.
Frasier: All right, how bad was it?
Niles: Mortifying. First of all, he refused to go nude, even in the private rooms.
Frasier: Well, Niles, don't forget, Dad is of a different generation.
Niles: Wearing socks and underpants and carrying a wallet into a mud bath is not a generational issue. If you ever hear me offer to take Dad to a spa again, wash out my mouth with jug wine.

Martin: Niles, I think I'm having a weird reaction to that spa stuff. My skin's starting to tingle and tighten up.
Niles: Oh, that's the citrus reacting with your natural oils. It's a good sign.
Martin: Well, it doesn't feel so good. I just scratched my chin and my eyelid closed.

Noel: Hey, wait a minute. There's nothing in here about Roz.
Frasier: Noel, put that down.
Noel: "Like Napoleon's triumphant return from Elba.."
Frasier: Krish-krush, krish-krush!

Frasier: Good afternoon Seattle, this is Dr. Frasier Crane and we're back. But don't worry, I may have been gone a while, but I think I remember how all these knobs and buttons work.
[He hits a button and salsa music blares.]
I see they've moved the cough button.
Well, anyway, I composed some thoughts last night about what this show has meant to me these last years. And well, I'd like to share it with you now. I realized I have a lot to feel grateful for. Grateful for my listeners who trusted me with their problems. And grateful for the person whom I most trust. It's not an exaggeration to say I put my career in this woman's hands every day. And she never lets me down. She shoulders many responsibilities here, and in her personal life, with a grace and skill I admire
more than she'll ever know. I'm proud to call her my friend, my producer, Roz Doyle.

Frasier: I'm sorry, Niles, I have no idea where it is. I'm not even sure I own one.
Niles: Oh, don't be ridiculous, Frasier. Dad, have you seen Frasier's fritatta pan?
Martin: Hi, Marty Crane. I don't believe we've met.

Niles: Lock up your daughters, the men are back from the hunt.
Frasier: Oh, well, boys, how was your day at the spa?
Niles: Fantastic. You should have seen Dad. I walked by the serenity room just as Olga and Sergei were giving him a full-body sudsing.
Martin: I never felt so clean and so dirty at the same time.

Niles: Anyway, I was invited to a housewarming party for a new arrival, Stuey. Hadn't been there two minutes when I heard a pop. Looked up to see the '81 Chateau Haut Brion I brought being decanted into a punch bowl of sangria, canned fruit and erotic ice cubes. I haven't been so depressed since Maris started seeing what's-his-name.
Colette: [bringing his coffee] Schenkman.
Niles: Thank you.