‘You Can't Tell a Crook by His Cover’
Season 1, Episode 15 - Aired January 27, 1994
After Roz is defrauded by a con artist, Frasier claims that his psychiatric training makes him blind to the tricks of the hustler. Feeling his son is being overconfident, Martin challenges Frasier to identify the ex-con in his group of poker buddies.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: Excuse me, Dad, if I can interrupt that self-righteous policeman mentality for a second, don't you believe in second chances?
Martin: I did, then we had Niles.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: Frank's an interesting study, isn't he? Temper, loner, a bit unsocial. Almost a stereotypical portrait of a man who's spent his entire life behind bars.
Frank: [examining one of Frasier's artworks] This dish a Lalique or a Steuben?
Martin: They had no spots open in the prison laundry. He worked in fine china and glassware.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: Actually, it was really rather interesting. You know, one of them actually did time in prison for fraud?
Niles: Good lord! What was he like?
Frasier: Actually, he was quite personable. You know Dad, he's so judgmental.
Niles: He is, and I've often condemned him for it.
Quote from Niles
Waiter: Here's your coffee. Anything else?
Niles: Yes, the check please, and quickly. Frasier, we've got to rescue her.
Frasier: Oh Niles, Niles, just sit down and relax, for God's sake. You're being irrational.
Niles: Don't you dare call me irrational! You know that makes me crazy!
Quote from Martin
Frasier: Damn it, you seem like such a nice guy.
Jimmy: I am a nice guy.
Martin: He was voted most congenial in his cellblock.
Quote from Niles
Niles: How was your encounter with Dad's poker buddies last night?
Frasier: Ah.
Niles: I must tell you, the picture of you trying to make conversation with dad's blue-collar cronies all evening is priceless. When I told Maris about it, it was all she could do to keep her eyes from dancing.
Quote from Frasier
Daphne: I've made meatball sandwiches, pepperoni pizzas and, uh, little sausage rolls. Will you be needing anything else?
Frasier: Just the number of the nearest gastroenterologist.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: Okay, dad. Now, you've seen the executive offices, the advertising offices and the lunchroom. And we now finally come to the sanctum sanctorum: my studio.You might recognize that handsome rogue over there.
Martin: Wow. Your head photographs even bigger than it is.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: This is what we in the radio game call "The Booth." It is here that I sit, day after day, and dispense the advice that helps the emotionally distraught through their troubled lives.
Martin: [inspecting the window] Do you suppose this stuff's bulletproof?
Quote from Martin
Martin: You've been awfully quiet there.
Frasier: I'm sorry, Dad. Just been observing.
Martin: No, no, don't apologize. It was a compliment.