Charlotte: Cell phones don't work here. Please tell me you know what's wrong with the car?
Frasier: Not a clue. I opened the hood as a mere formality.

Niles: [on the phone] Frasier? You're too busy to answer the phone, but I'm just about to interview this... stripper, and I have no idea what to ask. I just hope Dad doesn't walk in and spoil the surprise. I'm already developing some sort of aversion-based mouth dryness as we speak. This is Niles, by the way.

Niles: Hi.
Daphne: Hi. What are you doing here and why are you so sweaty?
Niles: I was talking to Dad about my case of oloroso.
Daphne: Oh. Well, if it doesn't clear up by tomorrow, you should call a doctor.
Niles: I will.

Frasier: Can I get my usual, please?
Roz: Well, you're in a good mood. What's up?
Frasier: Well, actually... No, I better not. Don't want to jinx it.
Roz: No problem.
Frasier: Besides, the mark of a true gentleman is discretion.
Roz: Okay. Listen, about your dad's bachelor party...
Frasier: Charlotte and I spent the night together.
Roz: I thought she was seeing that super-hottie Frank.
Frasier: Dumped him, thank you.
Roz: For you? ... I mean, wow, way to go.

Frasier: It's funny I should end up with my own matchmaker, isn't it?
Roz: Yeah, I mean that Frank was the whole package. Those eyes, that chin, that bod that wouldn't quit...
Frasier: Yes, well, it didn't have to quit, it was fired.

Frasier: Now, you were saying something about my dad's bachelor party?
Roz: Yeah. Weren't you having a problem deciding on the entertainment?
Frasier: Oh, yes.
Roz: Well, there's this girl in my spin class, and she does it all. Strips, lap dances, movies.
Frasier: Really? Would I be familiar with her work?
Roz: I don't know, have you seen "Grinding Nemo"?

Frasier: Wait, maybe I could just drive you to the station.
Charlotte: Oh, you don't have to do that.
Frasier: No, no, I'd like to. Besides, I've always been a sucker for that romantic movie-ending goodbye: a fog-shrouded train platform, a passionate kiss.
Charlotte: With a romantic dip.
Frasier: Yes, well, maybe I am, but there are damn few of us left.
Charlotte: Dip, dip.
Frasier: Oh!

Frasier: Well. Round two to Amtrak. I could drive us to the next station?
Charlotte: All right, but, you do know you're going to have to drive a little faster. You do realize we got passed by a school bus and a prefab home?
Frasier: Point taken.

Martin: [on the phone] Hey, Ronee. It's me. Uh, I've got to interview a new physical therapist to fill in for Daph, so pick me up fifteen minutes later, okay? Just have a drink. Well, have another one. Really? Maybe I'll pick you up.

Niles: Um, so, um, how, uh, how long have you been doing what you do?
Becky: Oh, years now. At first I just did it for friends, but then I thought, "Why am I giving this away when I can make money at it?" Here are my references.
Niles: Oh, uh, I — ahem - didn't know you people had references. Let alone... the mayor?
Becky: Yeah. I started with him, and now I do most of the city council.
Niles: Well...uh, that- That's good enough for me. You're hired.
Becky: Shouldn't your dad meet me before you decide?
Niles: Oh, no, no. We- We don't want him to see you till you're taking off your clothes.
Becky: What are you talking about? And why are you sweating so much?
Niles: I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm just a little ill-at-ease around...
Becky: What?
Niles: ... Sex workers.
Becky: Ew! Get away from me, you freak!