Frasier: So, Carla, how've you been?
Carla: Well, two of my kids are in jail, the bank's about to foreclose on my house and, after tonight, I'm never gonna see Cliff Clavin again. Things are great!
Frasier: Yeah, Carla was never really a fan of Cliff's.
Carla: Yeah, not to talk the guy down, but he's a big blowhard who thinks he knows everything and never shuts up.
Daphne: Imagine.

Frasier: It was about ten years ago when I too left Boston. But the kind wishes and outpouring of emotions from my friends remain fresh in my mind. I still remember Sam throwing me a lavish party and dubbing me the "Einstein of Cheers", against my modest protests that I was merely the Neils Bohr.
Carla: You still are.

Frasier: Well, you know, I hadn't planned on making a speech, so my remarks will have to be extemporaneous.
Carla: I hope that means "dirty".
Martin: Smart money's on "long".

Carla: Hey, white-bread. What could possibly be wrong on this most wonderful of nights?
Niles: Oh, no offense, it's just we had reservations at one of the finest restaurants in Boston. Instead we're eating trail mix and drinking this... Oh, dear God, it's just labeled "Wine".
Carla: Hey, Norm, doesn't he remind you of Frasier? Say "indubitably".
Niles: Must I?
Norm: It's uncanny.

Cliff: Oh, that's right. Your common pumpkin was once six hundred times the size of your present day variety, thereby allowing the entire fiefdom to feast all winter on the meat of a single seed.
Frasier: Cliff Clavin.
Cliff: Frasier. You old dog, how ya doin'?

Martin: Hey, Norm, let me buy you a beer.
Norm: Where have you been all my life?

Roz: That was kind of brave to admit you were a bed wetter.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, pay attention. That was Niles, not me. You know, I've got to run. I'm still putting the finishing touches on my speech for the Boston conference.
Roz: Did you come up with a title?
Frasier: Yes. As a matter of fact, Niles will be introducing me on "Notes for a Critical Approach to Radio As Mediating Gateway in the Process of Psychological Demystification".
Roz: Good speech. What's the title?

Niles: You can forget about my introducing your talk.
Frasier: Oh, Niles, you can't be serious.
Niles: I wouldn't even be here if Daphne didn't want to see Boston.
Daphne: Yes, I do. So you two make up and let's go get one of those famous Boston lobsters.
Niles: No, it's Maine that's famous for lobsters, sweetheart. Boston is famous for beans.
Daphne: Beans? What kind of a city brags about bloody beans?

Frasier: Ha. Hello, everybody.
Carla: Oh, Frasier, Frasier. Look at you. I forgot how big your head is.
Frasier: Carla, you haven't changed a bit.

Cliff: Well, e-mail did hurt us, but you know, computer's gonna be dead in about five years anyway. Post Office will rise again, my friend. We'll rise again! Feel that. [Cliff clenches his arm and offers it to Niles]
Niles: Frasier!