Gertrude Moon Quotes Page 1 of 8    

Quote from Mother Load (Part 2)

Daphne: I know you're upset, Mum, but it's not like you and Dad had a perfect marriage.
Gertrude: That's because there's no such thing. You young modern people think marriage is some sort of promenade through paradise, when it's more like a march through Hell with a man strapped to your back and a litter of nasty babies swinging from your teats!

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Quote from Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Daphne: This is Donny.
Donny: Hi.
Gertrude: [to Donny] Well, come here, let's have a good look at you. [to Frasier] We were starting to think our Daphne would never find herself a young man. [looks at Donny] And I see she hasn't. But, beggars can't be choosers.

Quote from A New Position for Roz

Frasier: Oh. Mrs. Moon, we'd like to get two double lattes to go, please.
Gertrude: For an extra dollar, I can add a nip of brandy.
Frasier: Is that on the menu?
Gertrude: [pulling a flask out of her apron] It's on the secret menu.

Quote from A New Position for Roz

Gertrude: Your phone's ringing.
Roz: Oh, it's not mine, it's Frasier's. [looking at the phone] Ew! It's Julia.
Gertrude: Who's that?
Roz: This witch who's trying to get her hooks into Frasier. [shouting towards the phone] I hate her.
Gertrude: I'll fix her.
Roz: Wait, wait. What are you doing?
Gertrude: [waving Roz off, answering the phone in a refined, sultry voice] Hello. [pause] Oh, I'm sorry, Frasier's in no position to talk, if you, uh, get my meaning. Who's this, then? Hold on. [holding the phone out] Sweetheart? Do you want to talk to a Julia? [giggling] Oh, Frasier, put me down! [normal voice] Sorry, he's not here after all. Bye, now. [hangs up] There. Problem solved.
Roz: You know, you probably ruined their entire evening. [mimicking Gertrude's refined accent] How can I thank you?

Quote from The Ring Cycle

Daphne: Where's Alice?
Roz: Oh, upset stomach. On the way home yesterday she snacked on the leftover petals in her basket. So, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to join you for dinner.
Niles: We understand.
Gertrude: Explain it to me then. What sort of child eats roses? 'Tisn't normal.
Roz: You could have stopped her you know.
Gertrude: Not the way she was noshing them up, I couldn't. Like a wood chipper, she was.
Roz: All right.
Gertrude: The incredible beaver baby.

Quote from Mother Load (Part 2)

Niles: Hello, Mrs. Moon. Would you care for a bite to eat?
Gertrude: Oh, that would be lovely if I thought I could keep anything down. How could your father do this to me? You sleep down the hall from someone for forty years, you think you know them.

Quote from Mother Load (Part 2)

Daphne: Obviously, this is a very upsetting time for all of us. But, remember, tomorrow is another day.
Gertrude: You're right, dear. And the sooner you get home to bed, the sooner it'll be here.
Daphne: But it's only 9:30.
Gertrude: And with every tick of the clock, your womanly resistance weakens, and before you know it he'll be on top of you like one of those bloody badgers at the zoo.

Quote from The Guilt Trippers

Niles: Now, remember, when you arrive, a car will be waiting to take you to the Nani Emaka Hehila Ai House.
Gertrude: I don't know why we can't go somewhere where they speak English.
Daphne: They do speak English in Hawaii, Mum.
Martin: How come you can fly to Hawaii, but you can't fly to England?
Gertrude: How come you can drive your car, but you can't do your own laundry?
Martin: Have a good trip.

Quote from Don't Go Breaking My Heart (Part 3)

Daphne: I know he's trying to ease back into things, but it's been weeks since the doctor said he was okay.
Gertrude: Well, isn't it obvious? The poor thing's probably not feeling very attractive. I mean, he's all skinny and pale, and now he has that scar, too.

Quote from A New Position for Roz

Julia: Excuse me. Can I get some service over here?
Gertrude: Keep your knickers on. [to Daphne & Niles] Don't move. We're not done hashing this through. [Gertrude walks behind the counter to serve Julia]
Gertrude: [singsong, in her refined accent from earlier:] Hello.
Julia: [suspiciously] Hello.
Gertrude: [singsong] Hello!
Julia: Say that again.
Gertrude: [singsong] Hello?
Julia: Now say, "Frasier's in no position to talk, if you get my meaning."
Gertrude: Now, that was all Roz's idea. I had no choice. I'm not a well woman.

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