Martin: Frasier, what happened?
Frasier: What happened? I went six months without replacing my pollen filter in my car, so it was in the shop. Couldn't get a cab, so I took the bus home, which splashed me. And I fell down, missed my stop, and had to walk home ten blocks in this downpour.
Niles: You went six months without changing your pollen filter?

Daphne: You remember that meteor shower we had a few years ago?
Niles: Oh please, don't remind me. I was over here having dinner with Maris. I will never forget that night.
Daphne: Neither will I. I've never seen a person cut a caper in half.

Roz: Rule number one: always stand in back of the curb until the bus has come to a complete stop. Now take your money and put it right in here.
Frasier: Yes, thank you, Roz, but I am not completely lacking in street smarts. [to the driver] Good day, busman. The northwest corner of Highland and 1st, please.
Driver: That's not a stop.
Frasier: I know. [takes out a dollar bill] Perhaps if I just shove a little encouragement into this box-
Roz: Come on!

Frasier: My goodness. Who would have thought that such a rare butterfly could exist in this tin cocoon?
Roz: Hey, for your information, plenty of refined, sophisticated women ride the bus every... Open your eyes, nimrod! That was my stop!

Daphne: Hey, Niles! I thought you were working.
Niles: Well, the patient cancelled, so I thought I'd drop by and see you. [breathless] Oh my God, you have no idea how good it feels to say that. I'm here to see you. No more flimsy pretenses. No more making tedious small talk with Dad.
Martin: Hey, Niles, it's eighty-two in Florida.
Niles: Here to see Daphne, Dad.

Roz: Why don't you go over and talk to her?
Frasier: Oh please, Roz. Come on, the woman's a perfect stranger.
Roz: Stranger? You know her name, you know she has a job, you know she's attractive. It's like an A&E biography compared to what I used to know going in.

Roz: Keep your eyes peeled for a seat, and hold on to a pole.
Frasier: Doesn't look very clean, Roz.
Roz: Well, would you rather wind up on the floor?
Frasier: [looks down] Dear God!

Martin: Hey, Fras, I know it's not your thing, but Duke sent me a couple of tickets for tomorrow's Sonics game. You want to go?
Frasier: I've got plans.
Martin: What plans?
Frasier: Just plans.
Martin: Well, if you don't want to go, just tell me.
Frasier: I don't want to go.
Martin: Would it kill you to spend one night with me?
Frasier: For God's sake, I spend every night with you. God knows, I have done my best to keep you entertained, but in the seven years since you've landed at my doorstep, have you ever known me once to show any interest in basketball?
Niles: You know I'd go, Dad, but I have the quilt show.
Martin: Please, Niles, I feel bad enough already.

Frasier: It's just been a rotten day. You don't even know the topper. There was an enchanting young woman on the bus. Just when I'd worked up enough nerve to go and talk to her, I slipped on something that I can only hope was an old burrito.

Frasier: You know, I did happen to overhear her name and where she works.
Niles: Well, then, what are you waiting for? Seize the day. You think I got together with Daphne by just sitting around? Take a chapter from my book.
Frasier: Exactly what chapter would that be?
Niles: The last chapter.