‘A Day in May’
Season 8, Episode 23 - Aired May 22, 2001
Frasier joins Lana as she tries to sell a house, Niles and Daphne take Eddie to the park, and Martin goes to a parole board hearing for the man who shot him.
Quote from Frasier
Mr. Smolenski: Well, we're certainly interested as well, but we've- We've heard that a lot of homes in this area have a flooding problem. Now, what do you know about the basement here?
Lana: Honestly?
Mr. Smolenski: Yes.
Lana: This house is sixty years old, and I have only heard of it flooding once.
[Frasier clears his throat]
Lana: And I can tell you for a fact that the permanent owner stores some of his most cherished keepsakes in that basement.
[Frasier makes a hacking cough]
Mrs. Smolenski: Are you choking on your lolly?
Frasier: [removes popsicle] No. I am choking on something far more dangerous and destructive than a simple sugary treat. It's a prolific and powerful poison known as deception!
Mrs. Smolenski: He's very verbal.
Quote from Daphne
Roz: Hey, Daphne.
Daphne: Hello, Roz, Alice. What brings you here?
Roz: We're borrowing Frasier's car.
Daphne: Oh, I see. And you're leaving Alice here as collateral.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: [on phone] Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane, I need to make an emergency appointment tomorrow, for a complete cleaning of my BMW. June 10th? But I've got a Clean Team Privileges Card. Yes, of course it's a platinum one! No, no there are no diamonds on the corner. Well, then yes, I'd like to become a member of the Diamond Alliance immediately. Fine, put me on the waiting list. I'll see you in June. [hangs up]
Niles: You're not in the Diamond Alliance?
Frasier: Don't do that!
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: Is this about Jim?
Niles: The demand cannot be scrutinized. It is, by definition, irrational.
Daphne: And are you sure this is how you want to use your only one?
Niles: Absolutely. I've thought this through, a lot. Irrationally, of course.
Daphne: Okay, if you're sure. I promise never to come to this dog park again.
Niles: Thank you. I knew you'd understand.
Jim: All right, we're going home. Tank needs to re-hydrate, and, oof, I'm late for a deltoid workout.
Daphne: Well, I guess this is goodbye, Jim.
Jim: Yep, by this time next week I'll be leading my first raft tour in Chile.
Niles: Really?
Jim: Yeah.
Niles: Wow, when do you get back?
Daphne: Oh, he's not coming back. He's moving there.
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: I wonder how I'll use my irrational demand. Oh, what's my rush? I've got years to think it over.
Quote from Frasier
[An elderly couple enter the house as Frasier, who is now wearing a paper bib and sucking on a popsicle, is gluing together the popsicle-stick house]
Mrs. Smolenski: It's even nicer than I remember. Well, hello there. Are you having fun making your little house?
Quote from Roz
Roz: Mine's in the shop, and I'm taking Alice and a few of her friends to an ice cream party.
Frasier: [entering the room] You told me it was your friends, and the Science Center.
Roz: He said, she said, we'll never know what really happened. Frasier, don't be so uptight. I'm not gonna hurt your precious car.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: I am not uptight. It's just that I've had some unfortunate experiences before loaning out my car.
Daphne: I left an umbrella in the trunk.
Frasier: It was a wet umbrella.
Quote from Frasier
Roz: Can I have the keys?
Frasier: Yes, yes. After all, what are fine possessions for if not to be used and enjoyed? And who better to enjoy them than the delightful souls of small children?
Roz: I'll put a tarp in the backseat.
Frasier: Oh, bless you.
Quote from Roz
Niles: Hey Roz, hello Alice. What brings you here?
Roz: Oh, Frasier loaned me his car, I backed mine into a telephone pole.
Frasier: You said you were getting a tune-up!
Roz: It needs one, trust me.