Frasier: God, I hope this works, Daphne.
Daphne: Well, I've been sending Elaine psychic messages all day.
Frasier: You're kidding. You can transmit? I thought you were just a receiver.
Daphne: Well, I'm giving it a try. You know, "Elaine in 14-10, come to dinner, come to dinner".
Frasier: That's very charming, Daphne, but Elaine's in 14-12.
Daphne: Oh dear. I guess I'd better set an extra place at the table, then.

Daphne: And to finish it off, a batch of Grammy Moon's famous sticky buns.
Frasier: Oh my, that's it.
Daphne: Grammy made these every Sunday. 'course, she added a pint of rum to the recipe. And nobody liked these more than Grammy herself. Many's the Sunday I'd head over to her house after church, only to find her out in the garden in her wedding dress, face down in the birdbath.

Frasier: Now listen, Niles, I'm having a young lady over on Friday night, I was hoping that maybe you could take Dad out for me.
Niles: Oh, I wish you'd said Saturday.
Frasier: Why, you have plans Friday?
Niles: No, I have plans Saturday.

Niles: Dad? I was wondering if you'd be interested in joining Maris and me Friday night. We're dying to try the new rib joint that's opened on Bellevue Way. I understand that if the onion rings aren't as big as your head you get them for free.

Martin: Hey, for your information, people of our generation think sex is a private thing. And I still think that's a pretty healthy way of looking at it. Sex is something between you, and the person you're doing it to.

Frasier: Oh listen, if there's a lull in the conversation, we've got all kind of board games back here in the closet. We got playing cards - Does she like to play Canasta?
Niles: Oh! And PBS is running a wonderful documentary on the swing bands of the '30s and '40s.
Frasier: Ooh, wow.
Martin: Well, thanks a lot for all your help, boys. But I think we'll just split a bowl of creamed corn, rub a little liniment into each other's joints and fall asleep drooling on the couch.

Frasier: And though washing one's hands twenty to thirty times a day would be considered obsessive-compulsive, please bear in mind that your husband is a coroner. Thank you for your call, Jeanine.

Frasier: Hello, Ethan. I'm listening.
Ethan: "Hi, Dr. Crane."
Frasier: How old are you?
Ethan: "I'm thirteen."
Frasier: Ah well, what can I do for you?
Ethan: "Well, I'm having a lot of problems with the other kids at school. They're always beating me up."
Frasier: Why do you think that's so?
Ethan: "Probably because I'm smart. I have a 160 IQ. I'm in the astronomy club and I hate sports."
Frasier: Well, Ethan, you know, the other children are just acting out of jealousy and immaturity, and I know it doesn't help much right now, but the day will come in the next few years when you will have the last laugh.
Ethan: "That's it?"
Frasier: Yes.
Ethan: "Frankly, Dr. Crane, I find that advice patronizing, simplistic and, in all candor, uninspired. The real surprise here is that they pay you to dole out this balloon juice."
Frasier: Ethan, where are you calling from?
Ethan: "Home."
Frasier: Well, if any of Ethan's classmates are listening, you know where he is, and he can't stay in there forever. Thank you for your call.

Frasier: Noel? Noel Shemsky from Sales? That's who your date's with?
Roz: Well, it's not a date. We're just going out for a drink, okay?
Frasier: Noel the Mole?
Roz: I know, he's not great-looking. I know he drives a '73 Dodge Polaris. But he's just always struck me as a really interesting guy.
Frasier: Mm-hmm.
Roz: Look, the world is loaded with superficial guys. You know, I just want to try going out with someone who has a good heart. He's smart. He's substantial and, you know, considering my track record lately I would hope you'd support me. Is that asking too much?
Frasier: Does Noel still have that autographed picture of Captain Kirk in his cubicle?
Roz: Why do I tell you anything?

Frasier: Niles, you are shameless!
Niles: Frasier, I have a very sore head and a crackerjack lawyer, so don't crowd me.