Roz: Well, I went to a party once where we each went around the room and confessed our most shameful secret. Except it had to be something that you've never told anyone before.
Niles: Oh, I don't think that's something we really want to get into.
Daphne: No, sounds like fun.
Niles: Okay, I'll go first. Oh, let's see. All right, well, Daphne, you might as well make your acquaintance with my dark side. In fifth grade, there was a bully, Jack Winfield, who was bothering a lot of the girls, so one day I waited for him outside of school and gave him a sound thumping.
Martin: Wasn't that the kid with rickets?
Niles: Rickets and a smart mouth.

Frasier: Well, I'm off to pick up Lana.
Niles: You're oddly chipper about it.
Frasier: Well, of course I am, Niles. The sooner I deliver her to the surprise party, the sooner I can cast my net of romance over a butterfly named Claire. You know, I've got a good feeling about this one.
Niles: Oh Frasier, you always have a good feeling. You think it's going to be perfect, and then when she turns out not to be the Kierkegaard-reading, soufflé-baking, haiku-writing cellist, you're disappointed. You have to learn to settle.
Daphne: What does that mean?
Frasier: Have fun, Niles.

Frasier: Thanks a lot. I was interested in her.
Niles: Well, how was I supposed to know?
Frasier: I was speaking German!
Niles: Oh, yes, the language of love.

Frasier: Yes, we've already met. Uh, guten tag, Claire.
Claire: I knew I'd recognized your voice. You're on the radio.
Frasier: Yes, yes, well, I'm flattered that you've listened.
Lana: You should have seen him in high school. Do you remember when you petitioned the school to have interpretive dance added to gym class?

Lana: So Niles, how's things?
Niles: Things are good.
Lana: Are you married now?
Niles: No, no. I was, but, uh, I'm not now. But I'm going with someone.

Martin: What's the matter?
Niles: Oh, Daphne punched me in her sleep last night. Honestly, she is the most aggressive sleeper I have ever known.
Martin: Wow. You being a psychiatrist, you probably think she's acting out some form of repressed hostility towards you, huh?
Niles: That was the furthest thing from my mind... until now.

Niles: "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"
Daphne: Yeah, it's got everything - action, romance, and humor. I mean, who's funnier than Roger Rabbit?
Niles: No one?
Daphne: Exactly.

Roz: Hey, everybody. Am I too late?
Martin: No, you're perfect. We're all hooked up and ready to go.
Roz: Great. I brought "Caddyshack"! Who's funnier than that gopher?
Daphne: Roger Rabbit, that's who-
Martin: Hey, what about my movie, "The Longest Day"? It's got D-Day and the Duke.
Niles: Whoa, that is an embarrassment of riches. Each movie more appealing than the last. Well, perhaps there's a happy compromise in "The Unbearable Lightness of Being."

Frasier: You look lovely tonight.
Lana: Thank you, you look nice too. ... Look, I'm gonna be real direct. We're just two good friends going out for dinner, OK?
Frasier: Of course.
Lana: I only say that because you went a little heavy on the cologne, and I don't want you to have any expectations.
Frasier: I have nothing of the sort. And by the way, it's scented soap.
Lana: I mean, I only accepted because it really sounded like you could really use a night out. I don't want some awkward scene where you try to get in my pants.
Frasier: I assure you, there will be no such scene.
Lana: Good. Unless of course [laughing] I have too much to drink, and I change my mind.

Lana: Aren't we going to Bella Lucia?
Frasier: Well, actually I-I know this little Thai place that I think will be better.
Lana: Well, were you even going to ask me? I hate Thai food! Typical man, "I like Thai food, so she must like Thai food."
Frasier: All right, all right. Bella Lucia it is.