Frasier: All right, Martin Crane. Why don't you tell us about your most significant relationship.
Niles: All righty. In 1952, I met a woman named Hester Palmer. And even thought she's been gone fourteen years, she was not only the greatest relationship in my life but also the greatest blessing. I miss her every day.
Martin: You're a good boy, Niles.
Daphne: Ah.
Roz: Oh.

Justin: Are you okay?
Frasier: Yes. I suppose I'm just having a bit of a temper tantrum, that's all.
Justin: Yeah, I get those too. [Frasier chuckles.] Well, I'm going home. See you later.
Frasier: Yup, see you later. Say, you know, maybe I'll go home too. If your brother doesn't give back your candy, you can always come trick-or-treating at my apartment. I got bags of the stuff. You can have all you want.
Justin: Really? Awesome.
Frasier: Apartment 1901.
Justin: 1901? You're the guy who eats brains.
Frasier: Now, come on. If I really ate brains, children would be disappearing from the building all the time. You haven't noticed anything like that, have you?
Justin: No.
Frasier: That's because I don't eat brains. Not human brains, anyway. A nice fresh order of calf's brains in a beurre noir sauce, now that would be... I don't eat brains.

Frasier: Daphne, don't you think that bowl is a little bit small for a whole night of trick-or-treaters?
Daphne: Oh, I don't think so. The children in the building are too scared to ring our bell.
Frasier: Why is that?
Daphne: They're afraid of "Old Man Crane."
Frasier: [chuckling] Poor Dad.
Daphne: It's not him, Dr. Crane. It's you.
Frasier: What? I'm Old Man Crane? Good Lord, I have tousled every young head in this building from the laundry room to the rooftop.
Daphne: Yeah, apparently that's how it started. They think you're feeling to see if their brains are ripe.
Frasier: How do you know all this?
Daphne: They have a whole rhyme about you. [singing] "Old Man Crane, Old Man Crane, Make him mad and he'll eat your brain."

Martin: Whoa! Hey, hey, keep it down, will 'ya?
Boy: We're just playing.
Martin: I know, but you know how "Old Man Crane" gets. Especially on Halloween, or as he calls it, "Harvest Time."

Martin: Fras...?
Frasier: Hello...baseball man.
Martin: Oh, come on. Joe DiMaggio. You know who he is, don't you?
Frasier: Well, of course. Joe DiMaggio was married to Marilyn Monroe, who was also married to Arthur Miller, the playwright who wrote Death of a Salesman, The Crucible, A View From the Bridge. You see, Dad, I know a lot more about baseball than you think.

Martin: How does this party game of yours work? Is it like charades? 'Cause I don't like cCharades.
Frasier: Oh no, no Dad. It's actually much better. You see, I've devised some questions that we will answer as our heroes. What better way to learn about each other than to explore the personalities of those who most inspire us, huh?
Martin: Couldn't we just play charades?
Frasier: You know, if this evening goes really well, I may consider marketing my little invention. It's a welcome change from those tiresome theme parties where someone gets murdered.
Martin: It could still happen.

Martin: Wow, Roz, you look great!
Frasier: Oh, Roz, are you serious?
Roz: What?
Frasier: Your hero is Wonder Woman? You're supposed to come dressed as the person you most admire, whom you most wish to emulate. I'm not even sure you can do that to the flag!
Roz: I'm sorry. When you said "hero" I thought you meant "superhero."
Frasier: Yes, and when you saw me dressed in a beard with a cigar, what "superhero" did you think I was, hmm?
Roz: That butler who cooked for Batman?

Niles: [imitating Martin] Somebody get me a beer!
Frasier: Niles, what in the world?
Niles: Well, you said dress as your hero. Hello, Dad.
Martin: Holy Moly. Niles, this is unbelievable.
Niles: You like it?
Martin: Oh, I love it! [embraces Niles] But Frasier said to dress as your hero, not as the handsomest man in the world!
Martin & Niles: Ha!

Frasier: All right. Question number one. The inaugural question in the first game ever of "Hero Worship." Copyright Frasier Crane, boilerplate, boilerplate. "As your hero, please share your reaction to the human genome project, not only as a scientific venture, but as a regulatory challenge to governments, foreign and domestic."
Martin: No.
Niles: Are you insane?

Frasier: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Wonder Woman, you're next.
Roz: OK, my greatest relationship was with my alter ego, who was a nurse in the army and her name was Diana Prince.
Daphne: [bad Elton John impression] Hey, I wrote a song about Princess Diana...and it was the same song I wrote about Marilyn Monroe.
Roz: That's weird.
Martin: Really weird.
Niles: You would never think that two such disparate characters across half a century of time could be connected like that.
Frasier: That's because they're not connected! The song was written about Princess Diana, not Diana Prince.
Daphne: Still, it's a pretty odd coincidence...
Frasier: It's not a coincidence at all! It's just two names that barely sound alike when one of them is pronounced in reverse order.