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Beware of Greeks

‘Beware of Greeks’

Season 5, Episode 16 - Aired March 17, 1998

Frasier attempts to resolve a family feud when his cousin announces he's getting married.

Quote from Frasier

Niles: It's a moot point. We're not invited, thanks to Frasier's more-than-usually inept advice.
Martin: Can you imagine what it's like to live in the same city as your brother, and not see him for five years?
Frasier: No, but I'd like to give it a try.

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Quote from Niles

Frasier: Niles. Do you realize how pathetic this is?
Niles: I don't care. At dinner, Zora announced that I'd filed for divorce. Within seconds, Yvonne began purring so loudly my allergies kicked in.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: So, why did you and this Crystal break up? I mean, I'm not meddling, I'm just curious, that's all.
Nikos: It was a career conflict. She's a juggler, too. You may have heard of her, Crystal Baker?
Frasier: No. I, uh, don't get to street theatre as often as I should.

Quote from Niles

Niles: How did she get the message?
Frasier: Her roommate must have reached her on her car phone.
Niles: Jugglers have car phones?

Quote from Frasier

Zora: Why are they thanking you?
Crystal: We owe our happiness to him.
Frasier: Why couldn't she have been a mime?

Quote from Niles

Niles: Frasier, just give up.
Frasier: No. She can't avoid me if I go down and meet her face-to-face. I'm going to go to that restaurant.
Niles: Do you have a death wish? She'll eat you alive.
Frasier: Oh, I'm not afraid of her.
Niles: Everyone is. Have you forgotten the family legend that when Hitler invaded Greece she joined the partisans just so she could strangle Nazis?
Frasier: I have never believed that. She would have to have been five years old at the time.
Niles: Well, that's why the legend says they were strangled with jump ropes.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: How did you meet?
Nikos: A few months back, I performed at one of her parents' garden parties. They were really snooty to me. That seemed to spark something in her. She asked me for a date right in front of them. That's how she is. She likes to play with her parents' heads.
Frasier: Yes, well, so did Lizzie Borden.

Quote from Frasier

Nikos: My family adores her. You should hear my mom, she thinks Crystal's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Frasier: Crystal?
Nikos: Did I say that? I mean Mary-Ann. I must have been admiring the beautiful crystal over there, that's why I called her crystal.
Frasier: Yes, it's a good thing you weren't admiring the pork-butt.

Quote from Frasier

Zora: Last time, he drank until he got his head caught in the duck press.
Frasier: Oh, really? How did he manage that?
Zora: With my help. So, what were you and Nikos talking about?
Frasier: Oh, now, now, now, Aunt Zora, don't you worry. I made you a promise, and I'd die before I'd break it.
Zora: Or soon after.

Quote from Martin

Martin: Walt.
Walt: What's new?
Martin: Oh, same-old, same-old. How's tricks?
Walt: Eh, can't complain. They keeping you busy?
Martin: Oh, better believe it.
Walt: Well, what're you gonna do?
Martin: Tell me about it.
Frasier: It's amazing how you two can pick up right where you left off.

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