Lilith: "I'm here for a convention, and I happened to hear your voice on the radio. I kept hoping you'd introduce Pearl Jam's latest hit, but much to my chagrin, you were doling out worthless little advice pellets from your psychiatric Pez dispenser."

Daphne: Oh, my Lord. I've never had a throbbing like this!
Frasier: Daphne, um, this is my ex-wife, Dr. Lilith Sternin. Lilith, this is Daphne Moon, my dad's physical therapist.
Lilith: It's nice to meet you.
Daphne: An equal pleasure. [whispering to Frasier] When I shook hands with that woman, I lost all feeling in me arm.

Lilith: Martin, I'm especially delighted to see you here tonight.
Martin: [holding his cane closer] Oh, yeah?
Lilith: Oh, yes. Knowing as I do the history of your relationship with Frasier, when I heard that he'd taken you in, I immediately flipped to the weather channel to see if hell had indeed frozen over.
Martin: Frasier, how'd you let ever this little peach get away?

Lilith: "My darling, how could a love like ours have fallen so far from grace? There must be some part of your
heart that still resounds to the rhythm of my own. I fear that I'll be lost without you. As long as we have love,
love will keep us together." Aside from the shameless pilfering from the Captain and Tenille, I was moved by your entreaty.

Daphne: Oh, my head!
Frasier: Can I get you an aspirin, Daphne?
Daphne: Oh, no, no, I'm afraid those are useless. This is one of me psychic headaches. There's some kind of negative force out there. I only get these when there's a clawing at the cosmic continuum.
Niles: Perhaps if someone rubbed your temples?
Frasier: Niles! I'm sure she wants privacy while she contacts the mother ship.

Martin: In my day, when two people broke up you were mad, you were angry, you hated each other. Whatever happened to the sanctity of divorce?
Frasier: Dad, you never liked Lilith.
Martin: She's weird.
Frasier: She is not weird.
Martin: Oh, she's weird.
Frasier: Well, maybe she's a little strange.
Martin: No, Maris is a little strange. Lilith is weird.
Niles: Gee whiz, Dad, I had no idea you preferred my wife to Frasier's.

Lilith: Where's Maris?
Niles: She's visiting her sister in Chicago.
Lilith: Oh. I thought perhaps she was sailing up the transplendent river of your love.

Niles: Frasier, I'm going to pop into your bedroom and use the phone. Maris was developing some sniffles, I just want to make sure she's taking in enough liquids.
Lilith: Isn't it enough that she's eternally sipping from the font of your perpetual adoration?

Niles: Well, I guess I'll say my goodbyes as well. Goodnight, Frasier. [ignores Lilith]
Frasier: Oh, this is ridiculous. Listen, Lilith, uh, Niles is upset because you snickered at Maris's wedding vows.
Lilith: I simply responded with the genuine spontaneous emotion I was feeling at the moment. [Frasier signals for more] But, if Niles is not mature enough to accept that, if he is so pitifully insecure, if he is in such need of validation, then I guess for some sense of familial harmony, I do apologize.
Niles: Oh, Lilith, thank you! [hugs her tight] Oh, this bad blood between us has gone on far too long. Next time you're in town, we'll have dinner, just you and me.

Hank: "So, Dr. Crane, I just don't know what to do about my weight. I've tried diet after diet, from the milkshakes three times a day to that scary bald-headed lady on TV. Nothing seems to work."
Frasier: Hank, listen to me. You've got to look inside yourself. There is a part of you that isn't being fed.
Hank: "Well, it certainly isn't my butt."
Frasier: Yes, well, I'm talking about your inner self. What isn't being fed there? Love, career, simple self-esteem? There are deeper issues at work here.
Hank: "So, so what do I do?"
Frasier: Well, I'd suggest extended therapy. Please stay on the line, and my producer Roz will refer you to the help you need. Roz, who's our next call?
Roz: We have someone on line one who disagrees with your advice to Hank.
Frasier: Ah, really? Hello, you're on the line.
Lilith: "Congratulations, Frasier, you've done it again. You've led another unsuspecting innocent down one of your dark, dead-end Freudian hallways."
Frasier: Lilith?
Lilith: "Overeating is very simply a behavioral problem caused by negative reinforcement. It can be cured quite readily by behavior modification."
Frasier: I see. Well, Seattle, we have a celebrity of sorts on the line. This is my ex-wife, Lilith.
Lilith: "What do you mean by 'celebrity?'"
Frasier: Oh, they know you.